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| Strange Recordings in Patient Records |
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| You trust these people with you life you know... THIS PAGE TO BE UPDATED THIS WEEK!!! |
Thought that when you visit the Hospital you are in the safe hands of experts? Well, you are really in the hands of homicidal maniacs!!! They are emotionally unstable quacks, who will put your pet turtle in therapy and park their car on top of you!
These are actually extracted by our man on the inside at Whiston Hospital. Please do not sue us over our tongue-in-cheek comments regarding quacks. I mean doctors. It is not our responsibility to ensure they retain their sense of humour when they qualify as homocidal maniacs who leave surgical impliments inside their victims. Sorry, patients. Alledgedly. Never mind. On with the show!
- The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
- The baby was delivered, the cord clamped and cut, and handed to the paediatrician, who breathed and cried immediately.
- Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.
- The skin was moist and dry.
- She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life until 1989 when she got a divorce.
- The patient was in his usual state of good health until his aeroplane ran out of fuel and crashed.
- I saw your patient today, who is still under my car for physiotherapy.
- The patient lives at home with his mother, father, and pet turtle who is presently enrolled in day care three times a week.
- Both breasts are equal and readtive to light and accomodation.
- She is numb from her toes down.
- Examination of genitalia was completely negative except for the right foot.
- The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as a stockbroker instead.
- Examination reveals a well-developed male lying in bed with his family, in no distress.
Watch this space for more!
These were added to the site on 31st October 2000. In the 1st November edition of The Daily Star, There were included some quotes from this very page! Now, we would never dream of bringing legal action against The Daily Star for breach of copyright, but lets see how THEY react when WE blatantly copy one of their exclusives, and pass it off as our own work! Watch this space!! |
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