FAT
Yo mama so fat when her beeper goes off, people thought she was backing up.
Yo mama so fat she eats Wheat Thicks.
Yo mama so fat people jog around her for exercise.
Yo mama so fat she went to the movies and sat next to everyone.
Yo mama so fat she was in the ocean and Spain claimed her for the new world.
Yo mama so fat she goes to a restaurant, looks at the menu and says "OK!"
Yo mama so fat she got to iron her pants on the driveway.
Yo mama so fat she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller.
Yo mama so fat when she bungie jumps, she brings down the bridge too.
Yo mama so fat when she sits around the house, she SITS AROUND THE HOUSE!
Yo mama so fat when she steps on a scale, it read "One at a time, please!"
Yo mama so fat she fell in love and broke it.
Yo mama so fat when she gets on the scale it says, "to be continued..."
Yo mama so fat when she gets on the scale it says we don't do livestock.
Yo mama so fat she's got her own area code!
Yo mama is so fat, she don't sit in the house, she sits around the house.
Yo mama so fat she looks like she's smuggling a Volkswagon!
Yo mama so fat whenever she goes to the beach the tide comes in!
Yo mama so fat her legs are like spoiled milk - white & chunky!
Yo mama so fat I had to take a train to get on her good side!
Yo mama so fat she wakes up in sections!
Yo mama so fat when she goes to an amusement park, people try to ride HER!
Yo mama so fat she rolled over 4 quarters and it made a dollar!
Yo mama so fat when she lies on the beach no one else gets sun!
Yo mama so fat when she jumps up in the air she gets stuck!!!
Yo mama so fat she's got more chins than a Hong Kong phone book!
Yo mama so fat that her senior picture had to be an arial view!
Yo mama so fat she's on both sides of the family!
Yo mama so fat every time she walks in high heels, she strikes oil!
Yo mama so fat she has a wooden leg with a kickstand!
Yo mama so fat she broke her leg, and gravy poured out!
Yo mama so fat she got hit by a parked car!
Yo mama so fat they have to grease the bath tub to get her out!
Yo mama so fat she has a run in her blue-jeans!
Yo mama so fat when she back up she beeps.
Yo mama so fat she has to buy two airline tickets.
Yo mama so fat she fell over and rocked herself asleep trying to get up.
Yo mama so fat she influences the tides.
Yo mama so fat that when I tried to drive around her I ran out of gas.
Yo mama so fat the animals at the zoo feed her.
Yo mama so fat when she dances at a concert the whole band skips.
Yo mama so fat the Aids quilt wouldn't cover her.
Yo mama so fat she stands in two time zones.
Yo mama so fat you have to grease the door frame and hold a twinkie on the other side just to get her through.
Yo mama so fat when she goes to an all you can eat buffet, they have to install speed bumps.
Yo mama so fat that she can't tie her own shoes.
Yo mama so fat she sets off car alarms when she runs.
Yo mama so fat when she wears a Malcolm X T-shirt, helicopters try to land on her back!
Yo mama so fat the only pictures you have of her are satellite pictures.
Yo mama so fat she put on some BVD's and by the time they reached her waist they spelled out boulevard.
Yo mama so fat that when she sits on the beach, Greenpeace shows up and tries to tow her back into the ocean.
Yo mama so fat that she would have been in ET, but when she rode the bike across the moon, she caused an eclipse.
Yo mama so fat she was Miss Arizona -- class Battleship.
Yo mama so fat to her "light food" means under 4 Tons.
Yo mama so fat The Himalayas are practice runs to prepare for her.
Yo mama so fat she went on a date with high heels on and came back with sandals!!!
Yo mama so fat she stepped on a talking scale and it told her to get off!!!
Yo mama so fat and stupid, her waist size is larger than her IQ!!!
Yo mama so fat she was zoned for commercial development.
Yo mama so fat the last time she saw 90210 was on the scale
Yo mama so fat I can take her to the beach and sell her for shade.
STUPID
Yo mama so stupid it took her 2 hours to watch 60 minutes.
Yo mama so stupid it took her half an hour to make minute rice.
Yo mama so stupid she threw a brick at the floor and missed.
Yo mama so stupid when she saw the NC-17 (under 17 not admitted) sign, she went back and got 16 friends.
Yo mama so stupid that she puts lipstick on her head just to make-up her mind.
Yo mama so stupid she hears it's chilly outside so she gets a bowl.
Yo mama so stupid you have to dig for her IQ!
Yo mama so stupid she got locked in a grocery store and starved!
Yo mama so stupid that she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order!
Yo mama so stupid she could trip over a cordless phone!
Yo mama so stupid she sold her car for gasoline money!
Yo mama so stupid she bought a solar-powered flashlight!
Yo mama so stupid she thinks a quarterback is a refund!
Yo mama so stupid she took a cup to see Juice.
Yo mama so stupid she asked you "What is the number for 911"
Yo mama so stupid she got stabbed in a shoot out.
Yo mama so stupid she called Dan Quayle for a spell check.
Yo mama so stupid she stepped on a crack and broke her own back.
Yo mama so stupid she thought she needed a token to get on Soul Train.
Yo mama so stupid she took the Pepsi challenge and chose JIFF.
Yo mama so stupid when you stand next to her you hear the ocean!
Yo mama so stupid she thinks Fleetwood Mac is a new hamburger at McDonalds!
Yo mama so stupid she sits on the TV, and watches the couch!
Yo mama so stupid when she went to take the 6 train, she took the 3 twice.
Yo mama so stupid she jumped out the window and went up.
Yo mama so stupid she took a umbrella to see Purple Rain.
Yo mama so stupid she watches "The Three Stooges" and takes notes.
Yo mama so stupid she couldn't read an audio book.
Yo mama so stupid it take her a week to get rid of a 24hr virus.
Yo mama so stupid it take her a day to cook a 3 minute egg.
Yo mama so stupid She has to ask for help to use hamburger helper.
Yo mama so stupid She went to Disney World and saw a sign that said "Disney World Left" so she went home.
Yo mama so stupid she asked me what kind of jeans I had on and when I said "Guess." ... she said "Levi's."
Yo mama so stupid she got fired from the M&M factory for throwing away the W's.
Yo mama so stupid she thought she could see herself sleeping if she woke up fast enough.
Yo mama so stupid she called information to get the number for 411.
Yo mama so stupid she called the 24 Hour Store and asked what time they closed.
Yo mama so stupid she bought a doughnut at Duncan Doughnuts and returned it because there was a whole in it.
Yo mama so stupid she thought she could see herself sleeping if she woke up fast enough.
UGLY
Yo mama so ugly when she joined an ugly contest, they said "Sorry, no professionals."
Yo mama so ugly just after she was born, her mother said, "What a treasure!" and her father said, "Yes, let's go bury it"
Yo mama so ugly they push her face into dough to make gorilla cookies.
Yo mama so ugly the dog miss took her for his rear end.
Yo mama so ugly she jumped in the water and the water jumped out.
Yo mama so ugly instead of putting the bungie cord around her ankle, they put it around her neck.
Yo mama so ugly she gets 364 extra days to dress up for Halloween.
Yo mama so ugly when she walks into a bank, they turn off the surveillance cameras.
Yo mama so ugly her mom had to tie a steak around her neck to get the dogs to play with her.
Yo mama so ugly the government moved Halloween to her birthday.
Yo mama so ugly that if ugly were bricks she'd have her own projects.
Yo mama so ugly she made an onion cry.
Yo mama so ugly when they took her to the beautician it took 12 hours for a quote!
Yo mama so ugly she tried to take a bath the water jumped out!
Yo mama so ugly she looks out the window and gets arrested!
Yo mama so ugly even Rice Krispies won't talk to her!
Yo mama so ugly for Halloween she trick or treats on the phone!
Yo mama so ugly she turned Medusa to stone!
Yo mama so ugly people go as her for Halloween.
Yo mama so ugly she scares the roaches away.
Yo mama so ugly I heard that your dad first met her at the pound.
Yo mama so ugly that your father takes her to work with him so that he doesn't have to kiss her goodbye.
Yo mama so ugly she is very successful at her job: Being a scarecrow.
Yo mama so ugly she has to sneak up on a glass of water.
OLD
Yo mama's so old I told her to act her own age, and she died.
Yo mama's so old her social security number is 1!
Yo mama's so old that when she was in school there was no history. class
Yo mama's so old her birth certificate says expired on it.
Yo mama's so old she knew Burger King while he was still a prince.
Yo mama's so old her birth certificate is in Roman numerals.
MORE FUNNY JOKES!!!
Your mom is so stupid she tried towake up a sleeping bag.
Yo mamma's so stupid she got trappedin a bathroom and wet her pants!
Yo mama so fat when her beeper goes of, people thought she was backing up
Yo mama so fat her nickname is "Lardo"
Yo mama so fat she eats Wheat Thicks.
Yo mama so fat were in her right now
Yo mama so fat people jog around her for exercise
Yo mama so fat she went to the movies and sat next to everyone
Yo mama so fat she has been declared a natural habitat for Condors
Yo mamma so fat you haveta roll over twice to get off her...
Yo mama so fat she was floating in the ocean and spain claimed her for then new world
Yo mama so fat she lay on the beach and people run around yelling Free Willy
Yo mama so fat when you get on top of her your ears pop!
Yo mama so fat when she has wants someone to shake her hand, she has to give directions!
Yo mama so fat she goes to a resturant, looks at the menu and says "okay!"
Yo mama so fat when she wears a yellow raincoat, people said "Taxi!"
Yo mama so fat she had to go to Sea World to get baptized
Yo mama so fat she got to iron her pants on t |
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