Computer Affair - Cyber Romance - Spirituality - http://maxpages.com/fromtheheart/Computer

COMPUTER AFFAIR

Immediately upon awakening this morning, I quickly rushed to my computer. Having a rendezvous with a friend who's heart is as pure as snow and full of life. Punching her name into the computer my only hope being that she would be on line. Since we have never met or spoken to each other in person I often wondered if she was a fantasy or reality. My hearts tends to say yes but my mind says no, but my gut feeling tells me I will never know.

I punch in her name and she appears on my screen as if by magic. We write to each other as though we had known each other for a lifetime. Almost as though we were lovers since the beginning of time. We speak things about our selves that we would never disclose to any one else. We share heart ache and success, love and adventures and sorrow and pain as though we were truly bonded by some mysterious force. Is it my mind talking to itself or is there really a person behind the screen? Is she telling me what I want to hear or being sincere and caring? My mind wants to believe but my heart becomes skeptical. How far do we go, how involved do we become, at what point does reality begin and fantasy take over. Is it all for naught or is there a chance for true happiness? Should I end this craziness before it overpowers me or continue this with vigor and vitality? Should I fear vulnerability? Do I have the strength to continue on? Is this type of relationship so easy because of the hidden control that I posses? The ability to turn the power off and be safe in my own surroundings. I think not.

The things we share are so beautiful and special and may come to an end at any time. Not being prepared for this type let down, I quickly disconnect from the computer and hide myself form the outside world and her. Able to sleep with a clear mind only to wonder what will happen in the morning.

Upon awakening, I again run to the keyboard and type her name. What does it mean? Where does it end, or does it? Have we built a life out of the emptiness of a screen? Do we no longer need a body or a face to relate to? How pathetic have we become? Is this what progress brings and what possibly could be next? Perhaps all we need to know for now is that it brings us great pleasures and pieces of mind to be able to share lifes problems with someone. And maybe, just maybe someday we will meet the person on the other side of the screen. Or as the reality draws near will we find out how easy it was to become engulfed with the false security of the power button?

What do I do with my life, what path do I take? Do I choose a chance at happiness or the security of my feelings? I am lost and confused what shall I do------------- click------- I turned it OFF! Am I really safe in my own little world? As long as the power is off, I will never truly know whether it was real or just my imagination.

Sleep well my friend wherever you may be---YMIRon

© YMIRon@aol.com, 1999

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