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| Top Ten Drug Using Toons |
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10. Gargamel (From the Smurfs)- Most likely LSD. Spends his life in
pursuit of little blue guys in sissy white outfits and mentally abusing
his cat. What does he plan to do with the blue dwarfs when
he catches them anyway? Boil them into gold? He's tripping.
9. Olive Oyl- Probably Dexatrim abuse, maybe some amphetamines. Who
is that skinny?! She might even be anorexic, she is always giving
her burger to her friend. One side question, what the hell is it that
Popeye and Brutus see in her? What is it, her personality? NOT!
8. Snagglepuss- Can't explain it. Maybe it's the name, or the look,
but he is suspicious.
7. He-Man- This is an easy one. I mean, c'mon. Can we say steroids?
And on top of that he even injects the shit in his pet tiger. Makes me
want to root for Skeletor.
6.& 5. Yogi and Boo Boo- We all know what is really in those picnic
baskets. They go back to the cave and trip. Another side, are
they gay? I mean, take a look at Boo Boo. Not that there's anything
wrong with that.....
4. Droopy- The number one downer abuser in toon land. Can't someone
slip him an upper every year or two? The only time I ever saw him
happy is when he sees the picture of the babe. Sort of makes you
wonder.
3.Dopey Dwarf- He openly admits it. The other dwarfs deny involvement
but they are under investigation. Allegations are that Doc is writing
some extra scripts for Sneezy and all the guys partaking are afloat.
2.Daffy Duck- If he isn't using crack, Marion Barry is clean. He is
so wierd he bounces around on his head without pain. Blows his beak
off all the time. Some symptoms might be from "daffiness" but Haldol
wouldn't work for him.
1.Shaggy- By far the #1 suspect. His clothes, his hair, his bad
goatee, face it- this boy converses with dogs. But all of this is nothing
until you go to the Munchie Factor. Anybody who averages 9.3 dog
treats consumed per episode does pot; no ifs, ands, or, buts about it.
And look at the way he and his friends painted that van! Pretty rad
design dude.
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