umm - im not best pleased with this page - Comedy & Humor - http://maxpages.com/foxyfun/racist

Befor you read this i wouls like to say im NOT RACSIST and please leave this page if easily offended. Second of all if i get complaints about this page i will get rid of it thanks for reading now you may look at the jokes.

Q: What does a redneck find hard about eating a bald pussy?
A: Taking off the diaper first!

Q: Why do skinheads shave their heads?
A: To control lice!

Q: What did a cracker see when he looked at his family tree?
A: A straight line!

Q: What do you get when you cross polacks and sheetheads?
A: A bunch of retards trying to burn a cross underwater.

Q: What's the flattest surface to iron your jeans?
A: A white guy's ass!

Q: How did a white guy get a lot more pussy than he ever had before?
A: His dick grew two more inches during sex.

A cracker bitch came up to her dad who was sitting in a beaten up armchair. "Pa, kin ah borrow the truck to-nahgt?" she asked. Her dad looked up to her and said, "Darlin', yew know what yew haf t'do if'n yew wants to borrer th' truck." "But Pa! Ah haf t'go naow!" the cracker bitch cried. Her daddy stood up and unzipped his pants. "Yew know perfectly well what yew haf t'do. On yer knees, bitch!" The cracker wench complied and started sucking her dad's cock. After a while she swallowed and looked up to her dad. "Gee Pa, yore dick shore tastes like shit!" said the cracker bitch. Her dad slapped his forhead and said, "Dammit, Ah forgot! Ah already borrered the truck to yer brother just a few minutes ago!"

What's green and sits on my porch?
He's my nigger and I'll paint him any color I want.
How do they separate the men from the boys in Greece?
With a crowbar.

How do you keep niggers out of your backyard?
Hang one in the front.

How do you stop a black man from using food stamps?
Hide them under his work boots.

Three black guys are driving down the road in a Cadillac one day. They start to drive across train tracks when suddenly the car stalls. They can't get out fast enough and a train comes along and kills them instantly. What is the tragedy of this story?
A Cadillac seats six.

Germany is once again trying to take over Poland, and the Polacks are having a big problem with this. The Germans decided to work out a deal with the Polacks. The smartest guy from Germany and the smartest guy from Poland will meet in the main square of Warsaw. There will be an impartial judge who will ask both of them questions and whoever gets more right wins. The Polacks agree to this, and when the big day arrives everybody in Poland gathers to watch this event. The judge asks the first question. "Poland, you go first. What is 2 + 2?" The guy from Poland looks at the judge and says, "4". The Polish crowd becomes outraged and starts yelling "GIVE HIM ANOTHER CHANCE!"

A white guy walks into a bar with a black bartender. The white guy looks at the barman and says "Hey nigger, get me a drink." The barman gets enraged and says to the white guy, "That's not right man! How would you like it if I did that to you?" The white guy says, "I don't know. Let's try it." So the white guy gets behind the bar, and the black guy sits down and says, "Yo honky, get me a drink!" The barman walks politely over to the black guy and says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve niggers here."

Against Blacks

What did God say when another black baby was born?
OOPS! Burnt another one. -MtBikeX

Why don't you run over a black guys bike?
Because it might be yours! -MtBikeX

Have you ever heard of Ku Klux Kanieval?
He tried to jump 50 blacks with a steam roller.

What are three things you can't give a black guy?
A black eye, a fat lip, and a job.

What do u call two black guys laying down on the street?
Skid marks-J.R.

What do u call a school bus full of black kids?
A rotten banana-J.R.

What do you call 2 blacks in a sleeping bag?
Twix.-Will C.

Why do racists carry chainsaws?
Because they go run nigga nigga nigga nigga

What's long black and smells like cologne?
The unemployment line -Joe

What do you say to a black man in a three-peice suit?
"Will the defendant please rise." -D. Carr

A little, short man about 5 foot 5 inches walks into a bar, sits down and orders a beer. The bar tender looks and him and says, "Hey man, you better get out of here with that shirt on." The man replies "Why?" The bar tender says well first off it says "I HATE NIGGERS". And secondly it's about 10 minutes from now a lot of them come in here from work. The man insists he will be fine. He proceeds to finish his beer, and orders another one. Well right as he is doing so, three blacks walk in and sit down next to him. They order some drinks, and then notice the man's shirt. The first black guy turns to the white man and says what does your shirt say?" The white man turns to the bar tender and says, "The first thing I hate about black guys is they can't read." The second black guy turns to him and says, "What did you say"? The white man again turns to the bar tender and says, "the second thing I hate about black guys is that they can't hear." The third black guy (a huge black guy, 6ft 9in, arms the size of dumbbells, really mean looking) turns to the white man and says, "Would you like to take this outside?" The white man agrees to take it outside. 10 minutes later he returns and sits back down, orders another beer, and says to the bar tender " The third thing I hate about black guys is that they always bring a knife to a gun fight". -D. Carr

How do you stop a black baby from jumping on the bed?
Put Velcro on the ceiling. -Mike

How do you get him down?
Tell the Mexican kids in the neighborhood it's a piñata -Mike

What is the difference between a pizza and a black guy?
A pizza can feed a family of four

What does BFI stand for on a dumpster?
Black Family Inside

What does NBA stand for?
Nothing But Africans

Why do black people always have sex on their minds?
Because they have pubic hair on their heads.

A Black, a Native American and a cowboy were sitting at a bar. The Native American says, "In this country once we were many and now we are few." The Black adds, "In this country once we were few but now we are many." Then the cowboy says, "We just haven't played cowboys and blacks yet"

What is hard and long on black people?
Third grade

What do you call a black guy with no arms and legs?
Trustworthy -Justin

What do u say if its pitch dark in your room and your TV starts to move?
"Drop it, nigga." -Cameron

Where does a white baby go when they die? Heaven. What do they get when they get there? Wings. What is it called? An angel.
Where does a black baby go when it dies? Heaven. What does it get when it gets there? Wings. What is it called? A bat.

What's the difference between a black guy and Batman?
Batman can go to the store without robbin'. -Josh

A Truck Driver has to deliver 330 black Brunswick bowling balls to Arkansas. Along the way he sees a black guy hitchhiking, so he pulls over and says "I'll give ya a ride but there's no room up here in the cab get in the back with the balls." So he does. A little further down the road he sees another black guy with a flat tire on his bike, and he too is lookin' for a ride, so the driver tells him that he'll be glad to give him a ride but he has to ride in back with the balls. He agrees. So just as there getting into Arkansas they get pulled over by a detective and a rookie. The detective tells the rookie to get the drivers credentials and he'll check the cargo. As the rookie is getting the paperwork the detective runs to the front of the truck and tells the driver to get the hell out of Arkansas, so he goes on his way. As the two cops are walking back to the car the rookie asks why he let the driver go and he replied, "son, he had a truck full of Negro eggs, two hatched and one already stole a bike. - Tom G.

What do you call a black guy with an Afro?
A microphone -Joey S.

What do you call a black guy with a new bike?
A thief -Joey S.

What is the most confusing holiday in the African American community?
Father's Day -SWP

What do you call a bunch of blacks running down a hill?
Mudslide -SWP

I am not racist....I've got a color TV -SWP

What do you give a black lady after she had an abortion?
$50 crime stoppers award

I had a black friend once.... but I sold him!

What do you call 1000 niggers in the ocean?
An oil spill -Delphi

What do you call a 90-year-old black man?
Antique farming equipment -Chris

What do you call two Black guys in the back of a pickup truck?
Mudflaps -frank nitty

What do you get when you cross a black guy and a gorilla?
A dumb gorilla -Quinny

Why don't black guys like blowjobs?
Black guys don't like any jobs -Quinny

How do you get a black man nervous?
Take him to an auction

A lady has always wanted to have sex with a black man. So she goes to a bar and has some drinks. She starts talking to a black man and pretty soon they go to her apartment. She takes off her clothes and jumps on the bed. She says do what you do best? So he grabs the TV and runs.

What's the difference between a black guy and a pizza?
A pizza can feed the family

What's the difference between a black person and a tire?
When you put chains on the tire they don't start singing Amazing Grace -Chris

Why are black people good at basketball?
Cuz they can shoot, run, and steal -John

Why are all black people fast?
all the slow ones are in jail -John

What is the difference between an Ethiopian and a pair of jeans?
A pair of jeans only has one fly on them -KPS

Why do black people have big lips?
So they can suck the coins out of parking meters

What do you call 9 black guys buried up to their necks in sand?
Afro-turf -Eric

How do you get a black guy to wear a condom?
Put a Nike symbol on it -Eric

What is long, black, and smelly?
An unemployment line -Amanda Fields

How do you kill 20 flies at one time?
Smack a little Ethiopian in the face with a newspaper. -Amanda Fields

I don't have anything against blacks.....I think everyone should own one. -Sam

Why do black people smell so bad?
So blind people can hate them to -Justin

What do you call a 100 black guys skydiving?
Night. -Pat O.

What do you call a Queer Eskimo?
A snow blower
What you get when you cross a queer Eskimo with a black guy?
A snow blower that doesn't work -BMG

Did you watch "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?" last night?
The person replies, "No."
"Yeah, they had a black guy on and he couldn't get passed the $100 question, and used all of his life lines too."
Person asks, "What was the question?"
"Who's your daddy?" -Don Carlos M.

What do people and jellybeans have in common?
Everybody hates the black ones.

Why do white people in black neighborhoods use clear plastic trash bags?
So black people can do window-shopping

Why do white people go to black peoples garage sales?
To get their stuff back

A black man was walking and he came by a lake. At the lake he saw a Chinese man skipping rocks across it. The rocks were making sounds as they went across. CHING CHANG CHONG. The black man asked what he was doing. He said he was communicating with his ancestors. The black man said, "let me try that". He picked up a rock and skipped it across the lake. They went CHIM-PAN-ZEE. He got mad, picked up a big log and threw it down, it went BABOON!

Ok, there is two black guys walking down the street, and they see a building that says "Talent Show". They decide to go in. The talent is to turn black people into white people. The talent show costs 99 cents. One black guy has $1 and the other has 98 cents. The one with 98 cents tells the one with the dollar to go in first and then give him the penny so he can turn white. So the one with the dollar goes in. He comes out white. "WOW!" Says the other, "can I have the penny now?" The other says "Fuck you, black guy, get a job!"

There's a bartender who is always getting his bar messed up by big guys. So he goes to pet shop to get an animal to protect him. He gets a gorilla and puts it in his bar with a string of bananas in front of him. If you move the bananas from the gorilla he will go crazy and beat people. Well the next day a 6 foot 6 275 pound guy goes into the bar and starts tearing the place apart. The bartender pulls the string and the gorilla kicks the guy's ass. The next day a 7 foot 4, 450 pounder goes into the bar and tears it up so the gorilla kicks the guy's ass. The next day, a Pollack whose 5 foot and 95 pounds goes in there and starts causing trouble so the bartender releases the gorilla and the Pollack kicks the gorilla's ass. As the Pollack is dusting himself off he says, "give a nigger a fur coat and he thinks he owns the world."

What do you call a black-man that stutters?
A co-coon

Why do black women carry big purses?
So they can carry their lipstick with them

What's the difference between a working black man and big foot?
People have seen big foot -Vince P.

Did you hear about that black guy they found on the bottom of that river in Arkansas with 200 bullet holes in him...the local sheriff called it the worst case of suicide he had ever seen in his life. -jamie

Did you hear about that black guy they found on the bottom of that river in Arkansas with 300lbs of chains wrapped around him...the local sheriff said, "just like a goddamn black guy, stole more chains than he could swim with" -jamie

How do u see a black man at night?
Make them Smile! -Justin

Two black guys walk into a bar and they see a white guy in a Klan hat and he says, "no blacks allowed." The black guys say, "didn't you ever hear of the Emancipation Proclamation?" The guy in the klan hat says, "no, I don't listen to hip hop."

How do you stop 10 black guys from fighting?
Throw them a basketball. -Dark_incubus69

A black kid is so depressed at his color that he whitewashes himself to see what it's like. He walks in to show his mom and gets a smack round the ear for his trouble. Hurt but determined he goes to see his dad and show him, and gets the beating of his life. After fleeing the house he sits on a park bench, crying. An old lady comes over and asks, "What's the matter sonny?" The kid replies, "I've only been white for half an hour and I hate those black bastards already!" - Steve

What do you get when you throw a basketball into a slave ship sailing across the world? Harlem Globetrotters

What do you call a black abortion center?
Crime-stoppers of America

Why do blacks wear white gloves when eating candy?
So they do not bite their finger off when eating a Tootsie Roll.

Why did God give black men big cocks?
As a way of saying I am sorry for putting pubic hair on their heads.

What do you call 2 black guys on a bike?
Organized Crime

What do you call the black Toys R Us?
We Be Toys

Why did so many Blacks die in the war?
Cause when the colonel yelled "Get down!" they all got up and started dancing.

How do you keep a black from stealing anything in your store?
Put a 'Helped Wanted' sign in the window -Johnny J.

What do you call 10,000 black guys running down the mountain?
Jailbreak

What is it called when a white cop shoots a black man?
He had a gun.

What is it called when a white guy pushes a black guy down the stairs?
He fell.

There are three guys sitting at a bar: a German, an Italian, and a black guy. Jesus Christ himself walks into the bar and over to them. He touches the German guy and says, "broken leg, you're healed." Then Christ walks to the Italian touches him and says, "sprained ankle, you're healed." Both men are now healed and then Christ walks over to the black guy and goes to touch him, and he pulls away quickly and shouts, "don't touch me I am on disability!"

What did a black say when crossing the Zebra Crossing?
Now you see me, now you don't...

What time is it to go to bed at Michael Jackson's house?
When the big hand is on the little hand. -anonymous

What do JC Penny and Michael Jackson have in common?
They both have boys' pants half off. -anonymous

What do Santa Claus, the Easter bunny, and an educated black person have in common?
They don't exist -funnygirl

What do black men and sperm have in common?
Only one in a million work.

Why did they invent white chocolate?
So little black kids can get messy two. -Bryan J.

Why don't blacks like aspirin?
Because its white, it works, and you have to pick cotton to get to it
-spaddy

What do you call 1 white guy surrounded by 3 black guys?
In trouble -spaddy

What about 5 black guys?
Coach -spaddy

10 black guys?
Quarterback -spaddy

1000 black guys?
Warden -spaddy

50,000,000 black guys?
Prime Minister of South Africa -spaddy

Did you hear about the new lipstick for black people?
It comes in a spray can. -slipknot baby pleez

What do you call a black man floating up a cliff?
Black Magic -Sam Chappers

What do you do when you see a black guy jogging?
Trip him and hand the lady's purse back to her. -CK

Have you heard about the NEW black Barbie?
It comes with 12 kids, AIDS, and a welfare check.

What does N.A.A.C.P stand for?
Now Apes Are Called People -S-BaG

What did the black man tattoo on his lip?
Supercalifragilisticexpialadocious -Hvy

What is the black community's favorite football team?
The Pittsburgh Stealers -Hvy

How do you confuse a black kid?
Ask him what his father does for a living. -Hvy

Why do blacks get their cars lowered?
So they can reach the cotton. -Hvy

What does FUBU really stand for?
Farmers Usted to Buy Us.

What did the Trix rabbit say to the black man when he asked for money?
Silly nigger, money's for white people. -Dennis

A white man walks into a bar and says to the black bartender. "Nigger, get me a beer." The bartender replies, "excuse me?" "Did you not hear me? I said 'nigger get me a beer.'" The bartender, now very upset, says, "don't you feel that you should talk like that in this day and age". "I will if I want to," said the white man. "I'm the one ordering." The bartender says, "How would you feel if we changed places?" The white man agrees and goes behind the counter. The black man, now the customer says, "Cracker Jack ass-hole, get me a beer". The white man turns to the black man and says, "We don't serve niggers!"

Why do black people have flat noses?
That's where god put his feet when he was ripping off their tails.

What's positive about Africans?
HIV -Phil

Why are black peoples hands white?
Because everyone has a little bit of good in them

How many feet does a black rooster have?
How many wings does a black rooster have?
How many teeth does a white cat have?
How come you know more about black cock than white pussy?

Why do black guys wear wide brimmed hats?
So birds won't shit on their lips. -Ashley McPherson

How did break dancing originate?
Black kids stealing hubcaps from moving cars

Why cant black people celebrate Thanksgiving?
Cause KFC isn't open on holidays

A black husband and wife are sitting in the living room watching the TV with their year-old baby. Suddenly the baby wails "Mother!" The husband jumps up in excitement and says, "Did you hear that? Our son just said half a word!" -Fuzzball

What do you call a black family reunion?
A riot

What do you call a baby black boy?
A Niglet -gridironpunk

What would you call Dr. Evil of the Austin Powers movies if he were black?
Evil, DOCTOR would imply intelligence. -GHOST FACE

What would you call Mini-Me if he were black?
Niglet. -GHOST FACE

If Tarzan and Jane were black, what would Cheetah be?
The brains of the outfit. -GHOST FACE

I'm not racist, I wear black -Crystal & Ashley

What do you call a black smurf?
A Smigger- Kevin M., CT

Why did the black guy cross the road?
To get the chicken - Parker

A man wants a brain so he goes to this place were you could buy brains. So he sees this Chinese brain this White brain and a Black brain. The Chinese brain is 500 dollars. The white brain is 1000 dollars, and the black brain is 1500 dollars. The man asks the manager " Why is the black brain so expensive." The manager replies "Cause its never been used" -EnigMafia89

What do you call a blac

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Page Updated Thu May 29, 2003 9:23am EDT