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| A Visitors guide to Birminghaml (England) Handy hints to stay alive in Birmingham *DISCLAIMER* We do not accept responsability for those stupid people who decide to go to Birmingham and not follow these rules. 1) Next, learn how to dress to fit in. Important- anyone who breaks the sacred rule number 1 is immediately hunted down like a dog. Sports clothing, fake gold rings, smelling like an ashtray is all part of the 'cool' look. These People are known as 'Townies' 2) Spitting is a healthy part of everyday life. 3) It's a not medical condition- its cool to walk that way. 4) There is a special prize if you find a 12 year old virgin. 5) Don't worry, when someone asks you- 'you wanna fight?' don't be scared. They are mealy making friends with you. But to be on the safe side- run like shit off a stick! 6) It's customarily to shoplift a souvinir. 7) Birmingham is, without question, the centre of the universe. Do NOT question it. Birmingham to English Translations To pronounce these words correctly, first of all try to move your mouth as little as possible and try to act like you have just had a labotamy and you will have no problems. Never pronounce your T's amd every sentence ends with the stoneaged grunt "uuuhhhh". Remember these people have barely evolved since the caveman days but we call them "townies" the letters that are written in capital letters you emphasise the other letters you mumble. WOtUmEaNUDOnSmOOke? You are a geek and you will never be popular. GiMmEeAFAG Can I have a ciggarette please? UDoINmEaDIN You are annoying me AMGoNNABbRAYA I am going to beat you up UGoNAmEAuS Do you want to come to my house? GoNEChewE? Please can i have some chewing gum I do not want my mum to find out that I smoke CANAYLENDAFaivA? Give me five pounds or I will use the little brain I have to hurt you FerN CuRlZ- Phone Calls NuGGIt Idiot MupPIt Geek RanC That is disgusting MinGIN Rubbish CaWLD cold JOe Taxi esasounDKiDeiS He is a nice boy, isnt he? Fanx You have stolen my wallet, how awkward and inconvieninet UCuMINTaMeiNlAeR Do you want to come to my house later? OOhmIgoD RUSTILLAVErGiN? So where are you from? WOUFUCKINLUCINA? Do you want to be my friend? didyerGeRaFwiVer? Did you kiss her? And the biggest Kev of all...((Give the pic a while to load))  |
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