You Know Your Online Too Much When . . - Comedy & Humor - http://maxpages.com/foxyfun/You_Know_Your_Online_Too

1. You turn off your computer and go watch your Web TV.
2. You see something funny and scream, "LOL, LOL."
3. You meet the mailman at the curb and swear he said YOU'VE GOT MAIL.
4. You sign off and your screen says you were on for 3 days and 45 minutes.
5. You fall asleep, but instead of dreams you get IMs.
6. You buy a laptop and a cell phone so you can have AOL in your car.
7. Tech support calls YOU for help.
8. You beg your friends to get an account so you can "hang out."
9. You get a second phone line just to call out for pizza.
10. You purchase a vanity car license plate with your screen name on it.
11. You say "he he he he" or "heh heh heh" instead of laughing.
12. You say "SCROLL UP" when someone asks what it was you said.
13. You sneak away to your computer when everyone goes to sleep.
14. You talk on the phone with the same person you are sending an instant message to.
15. You look at an annoying person off line and wish that you had your ignore button
handy.
16. You start to experience "withdrawal" after not being online for awhile.
17. You sit on AOL for 6 hours for that certain special person to sign on.
18. You get up in the morning and go online before getting your coffee.
19.You end your sentences with.....three or more periods.......
20. You've gone to an unstaffed AOL room to give tech support.
21. You think faster than the computer.
22. You enter a room and get greeted by 25 people with {{{hugs}}} and **kisses**.
23. Being called a newbie is a major insult to you.
24. You're on the phone and say BRB.
25. Your teacher or boss recommends a drug test for the blood shot eyes.
26. You refer to your teacher as your search engine
27. You tell your girlfriend she had a Hotbot, she Excites you, and when you make love,
you scream "YAHOO!".
28. Your parrot says, Polly wants a Hacker!
29. You call your beeper a Hyperlink.
30. Instead of forplay, you ask your spouse if she/he wants to skip the small talk and
cyber.
31. Whenever you are asked your address, you give them your URL.
32. Instead of sitting on a chair while on your computer, you sit on a potty.
33. If your love life is ruined by net splits.
34. If you have mastered the fine art of reading fluent typo and consider it your second
language.
35. The only Family you send Christmas and Birthday Cards to are the ones who have an
email address.
36. Your excuse to your boss for being so lazy... I'm sorry I'm lagging.
37. When you decline a real date with a live person cause your cyber boyfriend (whom
you've never met) is waiting online for you.
38. When your acrylic nails are shorter then when you had them put on two weeks ago.
39. When your backside breaks out in a rash.
40. When you have to clean your keyboard with a Q-tip to dislodge the food particles.
41. When the letters come off your keyboard from excessive use.
42. When you pick up your phone on Wednesday to place a call, and the voice mail
beeping leads you to messages left by your son, on Sat., Sun., Mon., and Tuesday
requesting you to return his call. woo hoo I love my webtv.
43. you go to bed at night and your dreams just scroll on in...
44. When you say "brb" to get a drink everyone in the room places their order and then
you actually draw a glass for them, and then proceed to say cheers .
45. You actually invite large groups of people to your house and have internet parties where each of them take turns on your webtv/ computer.
46. You say "JK" whenever you're just kidding around with one of you friends.

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Heinous-Poems

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Page Updated Thu May 29, 2003 9:23am EDT