The next time you shave, could you stand an inch or two closer to the razor please?

How can you love nature, when it did that to you?

Everyone has the right to be ugly but you my friend are just taking the piss!

See, that's what's meant by dark and handsome. When it's dark, he's handsome.

I feel very sorry for you because you are so ugly, but I feel ever sorrier for myself because I have to look at you.

If I were as ugly as he is, I wouldn't say hello to people, I'd say boo!

I've seen people like you before - but I had to pay admission!

People clap when they see you .... but they clap their hands over their eyes.

Whooey! When he fell out of the ugly tree, boy did he hit every branch on the way down.

You have a face only a mother could love - and even she hates it!

In fact, he has the perfect weapon against muggers - his face!

You're so ugly when you went to the haunted house they offered you a job.

You're so ugly, you almost look like your mother did, before the operation.

I'm impressed; I've never met such a small mind inside such a big head before

Congratulations; you're a perfect argument against brother-sister marriages.

Is that your face or something your neck threw up?!?!

You've heard about the good time had by all, and here she is.

This may look easy to you, but I assure you your mother is even easier.

That's a low blow - and talking of low blows, how's your mother?

Tell me, how many Peeping Toms has your mother cured?

Look! a face not even a mother could love!

Excuse me, I'm trying to work here. How would you like it if I started yelling down the alley while you're giving blow jobs to transsexuals?

Where are you from? I'm sorry? No, I heard OK I just pity you

I'm busy now. Can I ignore you some other time?

Pardon me, but you're obviously mistaking me for someone who gives a damn.

I worship the ground that awaits your corpse.

You're a habit I'd like to kick - with both feet.

I've had many cases of love that were just infatuation, but the hate that I feel for you is the real thing.

You remind me of the ocean - you make me sick.

I'd like to give you a going-away present.....First, you do your part.

Don't thank me for insulting you - it was a pleasure.

You're not yourself today. I noticed the improvement immediately.

I know you couldn't live without me, so I'll pay for the funeral.

Well, I'll see you in my dreams - if I eat too much cheese.

I used to think that you were a colossal pain in the neck. Now I have a much lower opinion of you.

I don't want to make a monkey out of you. Why should I take all the credit for the one thing you've done yourself?

Someone said that you were not fit to fuck pigs the other day. I stuck up for you, though. I told them you were.

I will defend, to your death, my right to my opinion

I know you are nobody's fool, but maybe someone will adopt you one day.

I would ask you how old you are, but I reckon you can't count that high.

I would have like to insult you, but the sad truth is that you wouldn't understand me.

If what you don't know can't hurt you, she's practically invulnerable.

If you were twice as smart as you are now, you'd be absolutely stupid..

I'm blonde. What's your excuse?

I'm glad to see you're not letting your education get in the way of your ignorance.

She has reached rock bottom and shows signs of starting to dig.

Sit down, give your mind a rest - it obviously needs it.

Some drink from the fountain of knowledge, but it looks like this guy just gargled.

You are not obnoxious like so many other people - you are obnoxious in a completely different and far worse way.

Grasp your ears firmly and pull; you might just be able to remove your head from you ass.

I don't mind you talking so much, as long as you don't mind me not listening.

Before you came along we were hungry. Now we are fed up.

Do you want me to accept you as you are, or do you want me to lie to myself and try to like you ?

Don't you realise that there are enough people to hate in the world already, without your putting in so much effort to give us another?

He has depth, but only on the surface. Deep down inside, he is shallow.

Look here - it's the tall, dark obnoxious stranger, and is this one ever strange!

I like you. People say I've got no taste, but I like you.

Why don't you go to the library and brush up on your ignorance?

You are such a smart-arse, I bet you could sit on a tub of ice cream and tell me what flavour it is.

If I want and shit from you, I'll squeeze your head.

Please, keep talking. I always yawn when I am interested.

Breathe the other way, please. Your opinions are bleaching my hair.

There are several people in this world that I find unbearably obnoxious, and you are all of them.

You are so dishonest, I can't even be sure that what you tell me are lies!

I've come across rotting bodies that are less offensive than you are.

You are the kind of person who, when someone first meets you, they don't like you. But when they get to know you better, they hate you.

You have a nasty speech inpediment....your foot.

You must have a low opinion of people, if you think they are your equal.

You used to be arrogant and obnoxious. Now I see that you are just the opposite - you are obnoxious and arrogant.

Hey, I remember you when you only had the one stomach.

She's got more chins than the Hong Kong telephone book

He's so ugly, the robbers gave him their masks to wear.

I see you were so impressed with your first chin that you added two more.

After meeting you, I've decided I am in favour of abortion in cases of incestuous rape.

Your ancestors must number in the thousands. It's really hard to understand how so many people can be to blame for producing something like you.

All that you are, you owe to your parents. Why don't you send them some used toilet-roll and get back in credit with them?

Your parents are siblings, right?

You should learn from your parents' mistakes - get sterilised now!

The inbreeding is certainly obvious in your family.

You were born because your mother didn't believe in abortion - and now she believes in infanticide.

It's good to see you're here with your charming sister-cousin-mother-wife, Billy-Jo.

The terrifying power of the human sex drive is horrifically demonstrated by the fact that someone was willing to father you.

Hey, weren't you the poster child for birth control?

You were the answer to a prayer. Your parents prayed that the world would be made to suffer, and you came along.

I bet your mother's barks is worse than her bite!

Tell me, did your parents have any children that lived?

Any similarity between you and a human is purely coincidental.

As an outsider, what do you think of the human race?

You grow on people....so does cancer.

If shit was music, you'd be an orchestra.

You should do some soul-searching. You might just find one.

You really are as pretty as a picture. I know I'd love to hang you.

Anyone who told you to be yourself couldn't have given you any worse advice.

I can tell that you are lying - your lips are moving.

This is an excellent time for you to become a missing person.

She's the first in her family born without tail.

You have an inferiority complex - and it's fully justified.

If we killed everybody who hates you, it wouldn't be murder - it would be an apocalypse!

Make somebody happy. Mind your own business.

Ordinarily people live and learn, but you, you just live.

You are not as bad as people say - you are much, much worse.

Her origins are so low, you'd have to limbo under her family tree.

I know you always have your ear to the ground. How's life in the gutter?

Talk is cheap. but that's OK - so are you.

You are living proof that manure can sprout legs and walk.

Her mouth is dirtier than a rubber toilet seat.

He's better at sex than anyone. Now all he needs is a partner.

You would never be able to live down to your reputation, but I see you're doing your best.

You're the best at all you do- and all you do is make people hate you.

His personality's split so many ways, he goes for group therapy on his own.

If truth is stranger than fiction, then you must be truth!

If sex were fast food, you'd have and M-shaped arch over your head.

Whatever it is that is eating you, it must be suffering horribly


Thanks to everyone for telling me these, if you wants your names mentioned email me and tell me them !

I realised the other day that i already had a section to do with cheeks so ive added them to this one :D because im that damn nice :D


All this small section is just swearing words in french and there are some cheeks in here too.

Merde - shit
Manges la merde - eat shit
Tu me fais chier - You are pissing me off
Vas faire foutre a la vache - Go fuck a cow
Encule - fuck you
Vas te faire foutre - go get fucked
Vaste faire encule - Fuck you
Fils de pute - son of a bitch
Putain - whore
Cul - ass
Bite - cock
Va jouer avec toi - go play with yourslef




He doesnt know the meaning of the word "fear" but then again he doesn't know the meaning of most words.
You should do some soul searching you might just find one.
You really are as pretty as a picture i know i would love to hang you.
Shes the first in her family to be born without a tail.
When they were handing out looks you thought they said books and said ill have a funny one please.
When they were handing out heads you thought they said beds and you said ill take a soft one please.
When there were handing out brains you thought they said grains and you said ill take ready break please.
I never forget a face but in your case i'll make an exception.
Hey buddy thats a nice shirt what brand is it? clearence?
Hey if that were my dog i would shave his ass and make in walk backwards.
Yo your so ugly words can't explain your face so i'll just go and throw up.
I think you may of seen me at the zoo i was the one handing you peanuts.
I know you trying to insult me, but i know you like me because i can see your tail wagging.
Why dont you use your head, give it a new experiance.
I'm not offended by what you say to me. I'm just glad you can nearly talk in complete sentances.