(Copyright 1999)
Bellman Communications
All Rights Reserved
THINGS LEARNED FROM KIDS:
1. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
2. A six year old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 40 year old man says they can only do it in the movies.
3. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they ignite.
4. A 4 year-old's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
5. A ceiling fan is strong enough to spread paint on all four walls of a 20 by 20 foot room.
6. Baseballs make great marks on ceilings.
7. you should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on.
8. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
9. The glass in windows (even double pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
10. A magnifying glass can start a fire even on an overcast day.
11. If you use a waterbed as home plate while wearing baseball shoes it does not leak -- it explodes.
12. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 square foot house 4 inches deep.
13. Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a four year old. Duplo's will not.
14. Play Dough and Microwave should never be used in the same sentence.
15. Super glue is forever.
16. No matter how much Jell-) you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.
17. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
18. VCR's do not eject peanut utter and jelly sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.
19. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
20. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
21. Always look in the oven before you turn it on.
22. Plastic toys do not like ovens.
23. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earth worms dizzy. It will, however, make cats dizzy.
24. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
25. A good sense of humor will get you through most problems in life (unfortunately, mostly in restospect). |