FF7 and the Holy Grail Part 2 - Part 2 continues from FF7 and the Holy Grail. Read this ONLY if you have read the 1st part. - Games - http://maxpages.com/everythingff7/FF7_and_the_Holy_Grail_Part

Setting: Icicle Inn

Aeris and Red XIII are walking through Icicle Inn. They find an old woman beating a cat against a tree.
Aeris: Excuse me. Do you know where I can find any shruberries?
Woman: Who sent you?
Aeris: The Knights of Ni.
Woman: Ugh. No, we have no shrubberies.
Aeris: Let's not argue. These people are terrified of the Knights of Ni.
Woman: Do what you want. I will never tell. Anything.
Aeris: Then we will have to say...Ni.
Red XIII: Nu, nu.
Aeris: No no. It's Ni.
Red XIII: Ni?
Aeris: That's right.
Aeris and Red XIII keep saying Ni to the old woman.
Lucrecia: Why are you saying Ni to that old woman?
Aeris: She won't tell us where to get a shrubbery! Who are you?
Lucrecia: I am a shrubber. I am Lucrecia the shrubber. I arrange, design, and sell shruberries.
Red XIII: Ni!
Aeris: NO!
The scene changes back to the Knights of Ni.
Aeris: Oh Knights of Ni. We have brought you your shrubbery. May we go now?
Vincent: It is a very good shrubbery. I like the Laurels in particulary. But there is one small problem.
Aeris: What is it?
Vincent: We are now, no longer the Knights who say Ni.
Knights: Ni. Ni. ni.
Vincent: SH! We are now the Knights who say, Ekke ekke ekke ekke Neowwww wum ping!
Knight: Ni.
Vicnent: Therefore we must give you a test.
Aeris: What is this test Knights of...Knights whom to recently said Ni?
Vincent: You must find...another shrubbery.
Aeris: Not another shrubberry.
Vincent: Then, when you have found the shrubberies, you must place it beside this shruberry...only slightly higher so you get the 2-level effect with a little path through the middle.
Knights: A path! A path!
Vincent: Then, when you have found the shrubberies, you must cut down the mightiest tree in the forest, with...a herring.
Aeris: We will do no such nonsense. Cut down a tree with a herring. It can't be done.
The Knights of Ni put their hands over their ears.
Vincent: He said the word!
Aeris: What word?
Vincent: The word the Knights of Ni can't ssay!
Aeris: Is it "is"?
Vinceent; You said the word again! The word isn't "is."
Sir Cid walks by. Yuffie is still singing.
Yuffie: ...and his kidneys burnt and his nipples skewered off...
Cid: SHUT UP!
Aeris: Cid!
Cid: Aeris!
Aeris: How was your journey.
Cid: It was very fine.
Vincent: HE SAID THE WORD!
Aeris: What were you doing?
Yuffie: He was going home. He was giving up, he was throwing in the sponge.
Cid: I WAS NOT! I was looking for the Grail in this forest.
Aeris: It's beyond the forest.
Vincent: AGAIN WITH THE WORD! STOP SAYING IT! AAAAARGH! I'm now saying it!
Knights: ARRRGH! We're all saying it!
TOMBR13: Aeris, Red XIII, and Cid gallopped out of the forest. They met Sir Barret and Cloud, and there was much rejoicing.
Everyone: yeah.
TOMBR13: Winter came. They were forced to eat Cid's minstrels.
Tifa, Yuffie, and Scarlet: AHHH!
TOMBR13: And there wsas much rejoicing.
Everyone: Yeah.
Cid: WAIT! Aeris! You were one of them!
Aeris: Shortage of charachters. I had to play a minstrel AND the Queen.
Cid: OH.
TOMBR13: A year passed. Winter changed into Spring. Spring changed into Summer. Summer changed back into Winter. Winter gave Spring and Summer a miss and went straight into Autumn. Until one day...
Everyone walks around. They see Fire bursting everywhere. They run to where it is coming from. They see a man casting the Fire.
Aeris: Hello there? What are you doing?
Enchanter: I'm an enchanter. I'm casting Fire.
Aeris: Enchanter? What is your name?
Enchanter: Ther are some who call me...Sephiroth.
Aeris: Sephiroth. we were told you could lead us to a cave.
Sephiroth: I know of one cave, but it is quarded by an evil creature. It has sharp fangs able to bite one's head off.
Cid: EEWWE!
Sephiroth: Come.
Everyone follows Sephiroth to the cave.
Aeris: Keep me covered.
Cid: With what?
Aeris: Just keep me covered.
Sephiroth: Too late!
Everyone looks and sees a bunny come from the cave.
Aeris: Where is it?
Sephiroth: There!
Aeris: What, behind the rabbit?
Sephiroth: It IS the rabbit.
Aeris: You silly sod!
Sepiroth: That's no ordinary rabbit!
Barret: You tit!
Sephiroth: It has a vicious streak! It's a killer!
Aeris: Let's get it!
Knight: 1 rabbit stew comin' up!
The knoight runs to the rabbit. The rabbit jumps on the knight and bites his head off.
Aeris: Jesus Christ!
Sephiroth: I warned you! But you wouldn't listen! No, it's just a little harmless bunny isn't it?
Aeris: Oh shut up! CHARGE!
Everyone charges for the bunny. The bunny bites people's heads off.
Sephiroth: Ha ha ha ha...
Sephiroth leaves.
Aeris: RUN AWAY!
Everyone: RUNAWAY!
Aeris: Who did we loose?
Red XIII: We lost 3 knights.
Cid: How can we kill it?
Aeris: We have the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch. GET THE HOLY HAND GRENADE!
Monks bring the Holy Hand Grenade.
Aeris: How does it work?
Rude gets out a book.
Rude: And St. Attila raised his hand grenade up on high saying "O Lord bless this thy hand grenade that with it thou mayest blow thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy. "and the Lord did grin and people did feast upon the lambs and sloths and carp and anchovies and orang-utans and breakfast cereals and fruit bats and...
Tseng: Skip it a bit brother.
Rude: Once having the Holy Hand Grenade, thou shall take out thy holy pin. Once pulled, thou shall count to 3. 4 is not good, and neither is 2. Thus proceeding the count to 3. 5 is right out. Once counted to 3, throw the Holy Hand Grenade at thy foe.
Tseng: Amen.
Everyone: Amen.
Aeris: OK.
Aeris takes out the pin.
Aeris: 1...2...5
Cloud: 3 Maim.
Aeris: Er...3.
Aeris throws the Holy Hand Grenade at the rabbit and it blows up.
Cloud: Good job Maim.
Aeris: Thank you Sir Cloud. Let us proceed to the cave.
Everyone walks into the cave.
Aeris: Could this be where the grail is?
Cloud: Maybe. It's like maze.
Barret: LOOK! Writing on thw alls!
Aeris: Hmmmm. Brother Rude! Can you tell what this says? You're a scholar.
Rude: It's Aramaic!
Barret: Of course! Gast of Aramatheia!
Aeris: What does it say?
Rude: It says, "Here may be found the last words of Gast of Aramatheia.
Everyone: YEAH!
Rude: It reads, " He who is valorous and pure of heart may find the Holy Grail in the castle of arrrrrrrrrrgh."
Aeris: The what?
Rude: The castle of arrrrrrrrrrgh.
Cid: what does that man?
Rude: He must have died while carving it.
Aeris: Well he wouldn't have bothered to put ARRRRRRRRRRGH in it.
Rude: Well that's what it says!
ROAR!
Cid: Holy s***!
Rude: It's the notorious black beast of AAAAAAHHH!
The black beast gobbles down Rude.
Cloud: That's no black beast. THAT'S HOJO! In some weird form!
Hojo: Roar!
Aeris: RUN AWAY!
Everyone: RUN AWAY!
Everyone runs away. They loose Hojo.
Everyone: Sssh! Sh sh!
Hojo: ROAR!
Everyone: AAAAAAH!
TOMBR13: As Hojo lunged forth, escape for Aeris and her knights seemed hopelles. When suddenly, the animator suffered a fatal heart attack.
Priscilla: URGH!
TOMBR13: The cartoon peril was no more. The quest for the Holy Grail could continue.
Red XIII: LOOK!
Aeris: The Bridge of Death!
Cloud: We must cross it.
Red XIII: According to legends, no one has ever crossed the Bridge of Death.
Cloud: Then I shall go before any of you.
Aeris: Then good luck Sir Cloud.
Cloud goes to the Bridge.
Budenhagen: STOP! Thee who cross the Bridge of Death must answer me these questions 3. And the other side they see.
Cloud: Go on ahead bridgekeeper. I'm not afraid.
Budenhagen: What is your name?
Cloud: Sir Cloud of the Northern Crater.
Budenhagen: What is your quest?
Cloud: To seek the Holy Grail.
Budenhagen: What...is your favorite color?
Cloud: Blue.
Budenhagen: OK! You can go!
Cloud: Thank you. Thank you very much.
Cloud crosses the bridge.
Cid: THAT'S EASY!
Everyone else gets to the bridge.
Budenhagen: STOP! Thee who cross the Bridge of Death must answer me these questions 3. And the other side they see.
Cid: Go on ahead bridgekeeper. I'm not afraid!
Budenhagen: What is your name?
Cid: Sir Cid of the Northern Crater.
Budnhagen: What is your quest?
Cid: To seek the Holy Grail.
Budenhagen: WHat...is the capital of Assyria?
Cid: I don't know that!
Cid is thrown off the bridge, falls below, and dies.
Budenhagen: STOP! What is your name?
Barret: Sir Barret of the Northern Crater.
Budenhagen: What is your quest?
Barret: I seek the Grail.
Barret: What...is you favorite color?
Barret: Blue...no YELLOW!
Barret dies like Cid.
Budenhagen: STOP! What is your name?
Aeris: It is Aeris, Queen of thew Ancients.
Budenhagen: What is your quest?
Aeris: To seek the Holy Grail.
Budenhagen: What...is the air speed valocity of an unmated swallow?
Aeris: What do you mean? African or European swallow?
Budenhagen: I don't know that.
Budenhage dies with Barret and Cid.
Red XIIII: How did you know so much about swallows?
Aeris: Well, you've got to know this kind of stuff when you're a queen, you know?
Aeris and Red XIII begin to cross the Bridge of Death.

!INTERMISSION!
http://www.angelfire.com/va/vincent/images/ChocoboFarm.mid(Play about 15 seconds.)

The scene changes back to Aeris and Red XIII crossing the Bridge of Death. They crossed the bridge.
Red XIII: It's a shame that Sir Cid and Barret died, but at least Sir Cloud made it across without a scratch.
Aeris: I wonder where he is now?
The scene changes to Cloud being arrested for killing Shinra. The scene changes back to Aeris and Red XIII. They get onto a ghost ship which takes them to the castle that Gast of Aramatheia told about.
Red XIII: LOOK! The castle of arrrrrrrrrrgh!
Aeris: HELLO! IS ANYONE HERE?
Reeve: Allo!
Aeris: NOT YOU AGAIN!
Reeve: Smelly Ancient K...niggets ... and Monsieur Aeris Queen who has the brain of a duck, you know!
Red XIII: I'm not an Ancient. I'm a beast!
Aeris: HOW DARE YOU! You take over this sacred castle in which God herself has guided us! I ORDER you to leave!
Reeve: How you Ancients say: I one more time, mac, I unclog my nose towards you, sons of a window-dresser, so, you think you could out-clever us French fellows with your silly knees-bent creeping about advancing behaviour.
(blows a raspberry)
I wave my private parts at your aunties, you brightly-coloured, mealy-templed, cranberry-smelling, electric donkey-bottom biters.
Aeris and Red XIII run to the door.
Aeris: IN THE NAME OF THE LORD, OPEN THIS DOOR TO THIS SACRED CASTLE!
Reeve: No chance, Ancient bed-wetting types. We burst our pimples at you, and call your door-opening request a silly thing. You tiny-brained wipers of other people's bottoms!
Aeris: LOOK HERE! I ODER YOU TO OPEN THIS DOOR...
Reeve and the other French dudes on the castle dump stuff on Aeris. Aeris tries to maintain her dignity.
Aeris: IN THE NAME OF THE LORD...
The French dump "stuff" on Red XIII and Aeris. They begin to leave.
Aeris: WE WILL TAKE YOUR CASTLE BY FORCE!
The French throw more stuff at them. They leave.
Aeris: We shall attack at once.
Red XIII: OK. STAND bY FOR ATTACK!
All these Knights and Peasents appear, ready for battle.
Aeris: Today, we shall take over the sacred castle whom the French has now! You may die,l but you will not die invain. CHARGE!
EVeryone begins to run to the castle. A police van stops in front of Aeris and Red XIII.
Red XIII: What is this?
Police: You are under arrest for the murder of Shinra.
Aeris: Shinra? We didn't do that!
Red XIII: Honest! That's the truth!
Police: Cuff em'.
Aeris: WHAT ARE YOU DOING? DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?
Poloice: Yes! A murderer!
Aeris: NO! I AM THE QUEEN OF THE ANCIENTS! WE WERE SENT BY GOD TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL!
Police: Sure, and monkeys fly out of my butt. COME ON!
Aeris: No, NOOOOOO!
Aeris and Red XIII are stuffed in the van.
Police: OK OK! STOP THIS!
The Police officer ends the story.

CREDITS:
http://www.angelfire.com/va/vincent/images/vincent.mid

Imagine that! NO CREDITS!

TOMBR13@AOL.com

Sign Guestbook

View Guestbook

Visitors: 02017

Page Updated Sat Jun 17, 2000 7:16pm EDT