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Eouging
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| The Following is the Life of Me Ernust Douglas Ernust Douglas The Eougger, The Commentator, The Myth Author: Ernust Lawrence Commentator Firestone Douglas Table of Contents 1.Eougging Time 2.Commentating Life 3.The Man 4.Contract Life 5.DCWA 6.CWA 7.NHL 8.EAW 9.R.I.P. Chapter 1:Eougging Time Page 1:Eougging. The word who made me who and where i am today. I Have Held alot of championships in my illustrious life but none bigger than the 25 Year in a row Trophy and championship for the thing i love, Eougging!! I Am 30 Right now and 31 in March 2000. I Heard my mom always talking on the phone with her Brother's son about Chugging,Mouging,and Bouging. Then since i didnt like those names much, I Heard her talk about Eougging. I Liked that. I Asked her what it was and she showed me. I Decided to enter the contest. She didn't think i had a chance of winning.So i got a entry form and started training my best. It was worth a shot but I didnt know about it. I Thought it over a couple nights. Then i decided i would. Page 2:I Entered the tournament. I Won the first 2 rounds via Landslide and then i got a hang of it. I Crushed the 3rd Rounder to enter the finals. I was gulping the slowest. In case you didnt know you had to finish last and you were in seperate booths and if u stopped more than 3 seconds to cheat you would be eliminated. I Was in my Black Booth. I Was trying my best and then some. The match was over and i was nervous. They announced me as the Winner!!!!!I Was so excited i glanced up at fans and the announcers.. Man i was Very pumped that i won. I Bragged to everyone who though I Was the F' N UNDERDOG!! Page 3:Myslef, Personally I couldn't believe it. I Had won. I Crushed the next 10 tourneys and i was then 16. This was a tough one but i pulled out the hard fought victory. It was another 8 years, I was 24 years old then which was just 6 years ago. They started the tourney the same way. They announced me the winner the next 5 years!! It set in to last years tournament. I Was ranked seed 1 as usual. "The King of Eougging" i was called had advanced and just Squeaked out a 2 second victory to win it for 24 years in a row!!. My family was prowd. Chipard had won 24 in a row, too so we had each 2 rooms for Trophy's.They were big rooms so it would take 50 Eougging trophy'z to fill my wall of rooms. I am a Champion and if you don't like that go out and discuss that with my gooooooododododod freind STINKY PEDERSON!! Page 4:It was a month ago. We both needed 1 more trophy to fill a room. We both pulled it out, January 5th(Every years date for championships of this kind) It was a hard battle but we both did it. I Did it .7 Tenths slower, and Chipard did it 1.4 seconds Faster. 1 Room is filled. Now we have until next year until we get back into the Finals(we are automatticly advanced now and there is 15 men in the tourney now because 1 gets a bye and the winner meets us. Well anyways i think that topic Deserves a little more as you can see it is one of my main priorities in life so i will write a little more of my handwriting in this potential book-ity-book-book Ha Whak(Mr Dink on DOUG) Page 5:Yes. As your read i am studying Eougging and flexing for next year which will probably be another pickup win but a barely decided win happened last year so... Who knows?! I Just know i am going to win this thing because i have prepared my 2nd room of trophy's and its not going to be for nothing and thats a fact.. Anyways I Think im going to win this Title next year they said some new japan entrants come in so It might be a challenge for my great Eougging Experience. MMMMMMK. Well i really dont think so. But maybe they may have a shot in the finals at GREATNESS. No not the Crock....... Ernust Commentator C. FireStone Douglas or as Mark likes to say Doug"O"las. Well he's not official anyways. Soooooouuhhh MARK screw you your fired!!! MMMMMMK. I Never say that or get hyper AHHHAHSHHSAHSHAJAHGTAYKD Chapter 2:Commentating Life Page 6:This led a good life. I Have had previous Commentating Slammys. This commentator didnt quit when the action was boring.. He kept on coming for your and has joined many Commentating Organizations and X-Tras. That is why i am respected for my Commentating. Yes, thats 2 things that make me what i am Commentating and Eougging. Thats why i am so respected in the game of Life and truly i love doing this for life and making so much. It gives me $$$ For doing the thing I love and do Nation-Wide for all the shows and EAW PPV'S and NHL Games + Many other occasions just for what i love.... C O M M E N T A T I N G Page 7:People these days. They just dont know what to do for a living. Well Why dont you try Commentating! Thats how i got my Main property in life. Tune in to the EAW Channel for info on my life story and on A&E March 1'st of every year. More on that later. Anyways as you can see this is a total sucess so far isnt it?! Dont you like this book. Well of course you do. I Wouldnt want to keep ya guessing it mighta took Forever.Anywayz my life was tough, early in it too. More on that... right now i guess. Heres my recap and thoughts about the one thing that fears every 6 year older SIDE CHAPTER:SCHOOL SUCKS Page 8:School, really bytes. Because. Churn the page :::PIC on Rest of Page:: Page 9: Numba 1.You dont get paid Numba 2.You always forget what you learned Numba 3.It is slavery and Child abuse. Numba 4.We work for free and very little vacation time appears. Numba 5.IT JUST PLAINLY SUCKS GOOSE BOOBS!!!! and Numba 6.Thow shall not MESS with Ernie like McVicker did and lost so no kids have school forever(in eaw world) Side Chapter Off Cont. Chapter 2 Page 10:So as you read this If your in the real world and under 18 and above 6 Years old you must think that Side chapter Rocks. But I Still think School S*CKS My N*ds. OK Where were we? AH Yes. My commentating life. Yep i loved commentating and still do. Its a pretty fun thing unless your a commentator for Feild day on school committee. EAW Has molded into what it is today from the commentating of 4 men The Douglas family. That reminds me I forgot to say Hi. Hi Cable Guy, when you read this i need a new Illigal Block for free PPV'S. All of you should get that too. Its a great dear and thats very good and enriching to share with EAW and the classroom and also Mother Goose Enterprises(FLUNK) and if you dont like that uhhhhhh Screw You Your Fired Page 11:Well anyways there is just too much to state on my Commentating life. You will see some more of it in the forward chapters anyways. So I Guess it was one of the appropriate choices i made in my Excellent life. I Am just too good to give you all my thoughts on my "Commentating Life" souhhhh if you ask me to tell you the Whole story like i did with eougginguhhhhhh Screw you your fired from my illustrious Life-ity-life-life. Page 12:Oh yes and everyone please be sure to Vote for my site as your reading this and if you dont have a computer, Well BUY One!! Anyways i will tell you a LITTLE more on my life. At EAW Royal Rumble 2000 I Suffered the following Injuries:Broken Cheekbone,Stiff Neck,Rubtured Ribs, and Broken Hips.OWWWW Have Mercy on my soul. I Though i was going to be Buried alive when The match ended. I Ended out on a stretcher instead. Thank God. So there ya have it thats the up to date Life as I Am writing this that Is. Oh and I Will have a sequel to this book to see what happened in the Future which I even dont know Chapter 3:The Man Page 13:I am a man of my words. Of my dignity. Which shows an example of INTEGRITY:N.1.To be honest and truthfull.2.Never lie and show polliteness to elders and others. There YA Have it out of the Dictionary OH YEAH CAN YA FEEL IT!! GRAVY!!! Sorry about that Ace Ventura Pet Detective acting right there. I Guess i just got a little carried away. I am very sorry all Young Chaps. Anyways i AM a hell of a man. A Hell of a commentator. And By golly i am a Hell of a Myth in the Greek Roman Empire!! Speaking of that I Will record my Greek theme off the beginning of The Rock Says Home Video. BRB. Well its rewinding and I Wont tell you because you probably wont care about me Recording the damn theme. Page 14:Well anyways. I Am a Myth I am a Commentator and I am The Man... Well sorry Stan Staziak Is. I Am a good man though. You see Since i was a kid everyone though i was "Gifted" well i might have been gifted with a nice commentating background and a Gifted eougging skill experience but NONE said I Was a good and honest man of my word. Well you know what those people can do?! They can take this book And read it page by page. Rip a page out, Pour water all over it turn that SUMBITCH SIDEWAYS AND STICK IT STRAIT UP YOUR CANDY A** .So do that now all of you Lesbian Seaguls. Page 15:Yeah thats right Ernust Commentator Cedric Firestone Douglas is Myth and Chip IS right.All of the Douglas' are god damn myths. And if you dont like my efforts on trying to help you with my pheonominal commentating sytstem and always saying AHAHHAHSHAHSHGAGHGSAHHHJJG And deafining people. And yeah one of our quotes is ONEANNNNANANANANNA Jack Bandit! Yes that is one of our other good friends that let us use Nickelodeons Copyright on acoounta we paid him because Stinky thiught it would Help EAW Extreme Awesome Wrestling Page 16:I Am always giving it my ALL in life and doing the hardest things as Chip Jr. and Ernie Jr. Remember that at Haloween '99' Falling in peoples yards when we were tired. Oh and Haloween '98' when we first saw ITS BEGINNING TO LOOK ALOT LIKE CHRISTMAS while watching Saturday Night. Thats right, Me and chips family holds alot of Memories and trophys and what can I say but we are a Pheonominal Family. And Haloween is one Big MEMORY leaver each year. Chapter 4:Contract Life Page 17:It was simple. I Was wanted in CWA,DCWA,ECW,EHW,EAW,MCWA,DACCWA,Backyard feds,Unofficial Leagues,School Wrestling Alliances,NHL,NBA,MLB God Damn i could go on. I was usually a commentator but they wanted me as a player for some so i disagreed. I Just took all the commentating jobs because I Am very smart and that Disagree's with Intensity but I Will Stick with Integrity and Intellegince but one problem. It will only Escelate my career so far which I wish it could take me even further down in my career. Page 18:It is hard to get a Commentating Job that is very High Paying unlike EAW Because Extreme Awesome Wrestling BLOWS!!! OOps!!! NNNNOOOOOO IT RULES. EAW KICKS A**. Some jerk hit my arm. Im telling my mommy on him. WAH WAH WAHHHHH. This disturbs me so much to see people disagreeing with EAW. Usually EAW Payz me $15 Per Match before which would earn$100 each night. Now it pays $100 Per match since they just sued 3 companies. So i get $2,000-$3,000 Per week currently. Page 19:It was always easy for me and Chip to travel because EAW has a special Jet with Cocktails inside and a huge pool a Hot Tub with bubbles. Free Food. Of course it was a huge jet but thats why EAW Loves traveling. Anyways it has a fridge. A BigScreen. Waterbeds, Bathrooms,Satellite,free ppv's and Hell it was awesome. Page 20:Well Of course EAW Is a good Fed and all but it just isnt the best but now i will tell you a story on one of the feds I Worked for before and the name of that GREAT Federation(not really) that i worked for is DCWA and DCWA Owner come bring you rudy Fans:POO CANDY ASS Me:hey, dont do that it aint sing-a-long with the myth Ernie says it by himself is ya smellllalallalow what the Myth is Baking!!! Ha Whak(doug funnie lang.) Chapter 5:DCWA Page 21:Dog Constapation Wrestling Alliance. Well there is a couple Superstars on the roster!! Cliford,Ginger,Ally,Ralph,Porkchop,Shorty,April. Thats IT!! My and chip commentated for this crappy Fed before and it wasn't fun. We had to learn Dog Barking Language to commentate. That shows a good example of what we do to commentate as A Privelage Side Chapter:Constapation Page 22:Why hell do they have this if Money or Dogs dont constapate. THIS IS B.S. I Cant take the people these days. The Douglas' hate the people these days wa...wa..wahhhhhhh!! ::Pic of DCWA Logo on rest of page:: Cont. Chapter 5 Page 23:Yes. My dog Ginger is looking at me as I am writing this. More on Gingers DCWA History later on in the chapter. Well we will talk about the top 3 Dogs right now. The top one "Ally Aouglolas" is the world champ because Mark is the so called"Leader" of our group. Well Mark im sorry to say but YOU SUCK YA JACKASS!!!! He constantly calls me up and says hey Look at this porn. AHHWHAHWAHWHAHWHA. I Personally think he is a true pervert. I Should of killed him when i had the chance. Chip knows i could too because the world title was on the line the night of R.R. WWF 2000, Right chip? I Had im in my Camel Clutch. Page 24:And I Clinched back and he screamed the words "OW You could Break my neck" and he wouldn't give up. So i let go. And next time I See him not only will I Put him in that move again and following that I would put him in my famous Full Nelson. He will Scream the Words " I QUIT" Ill be damned If he dont!! Anyways we were talking about "Ally" well my dog could kill her but oh well. As you can see Ralph dominates the Crusierweight division with his next defense against Porkchop. So I Guess why not talk about one dog who is working his way up the DCWA Roster. Page 25:Ralph Rouglas. Yes Why dont we dedicate this page to that very fog, Ralph Rouglas. His next defense is against the dog Porkchop. Ralph has been the Crusierweight champion for about 1 year. Its been a long time, HELL YAH. So it should be an easy victory. Ralph should crush him at the next PPV which is 1 month from when I am Typing. Yes its DCWA'S Biggest PPV Called WRESTLE-DOG-BONZ-MANIA!!! its in March. And also... Well more on EAW in the EAW Chapter. Page 26:Now Ginger Gouglas. The current DCWA InterDogInental champion. She is a good dog around the house. It gets irratating when she plays with the belt and she hits me with it. Oh well. The Belt is pretty Nice. Shes a simple dog. Her next defense is against Shorty. Good Plump matchup at WRESTLE-DOG-BONZ-MANIA. Theres nothing else to talk about on this chapter so you know what?????? HEMMMMMMM For this chapter.....(The following is a quote i just made) AHHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEMMMMMMMMMM HEMHMHEMMEHMEMM THHHHHIIIISSSSSSS CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNCCCCCCCCCCLLLLLLUUUUUUDDDDEEEEESSSS Our Broadcast Day. Chapter 6:CWA Page 27:Continental Wrestling Alliance, CWA. This is where we got The Same letter first and last name. This made alot of Cool idea's for EAW. EAW Couldnt have gotten where it is today without the simple bear nessecities of life of Oneannanannana CWA Continental Wrestling Alliance. Well EAW could of got far but not as far as they have reached out now and they are at the full extent of EAW Can be. And it will get better so dont Worry. Page 28:CWA is a pretty cool fed for all Young Chaps.... REST OF PAGE IS A Side Chapter:Ernie Eouglas' CWA Contract:This is one of CHIP,AND ERNIES Biggest pride and joys. CWA because they could Eoug And chug if CWA was never created. So one day he looked at it and said, Hey my name could be Ernie Eouglas and everyone laughed at me. Well guess what? Well i wont keep ya guessin it might a took forever you know!! IT COULD IT COULD!!!! Yep you guessed it I took a Blue EAW Esclusive Gel Roller Pen Majentic Palrkara Gel Hair Glue Pen. I Wrote.. Page 29:Ernie Eouglas. So I got my name and they gave me a gimmic and crap and 2 days after... I took my Gel Roller Pen Majentic Palrkara Gel Hair Glue Pen and I asked to review my contract and I only signed for a day. HMMMM Mark could of changed it so I got a distribution Form and again I pulled out my handy dandy Gel Roller Pen Majentic Palrkara Gel Hair Glue Pen and put my name under it so in other Words this Meant I QUIT!! Cont. Chapter 6: Page 30:CWA Wasnt happy with the action I Took and even though I Stole that gimmick I used it in EAW(More on that in Chapter 8). CWA was PO'D but I Really didnt care because CWA RUL... CWA SUCKS!!!! CWA SUCKS!! Some one hit me again(You believe me). ::CWA Logo on the Rest of the page:: Chapter 7:NHL Page 31: |
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