Christy's Story - In and Out of Anorexia Nervosa - Health - http://maxpages.com/elliesownpage/Christys

I can't remember a time when I was happy with my body, or even slightly
happy with it. There was always something little that bugged me about
myself. I didn't turn to anorexia until I was 13 though. From about 10
on, I was upset with my body and wanted to do something, so I first tried lots
of exercise and taking what I thought was fatty foods out of my diet.

I didn't really know what an eating disorder really was until I saw a movie on
tv that had a girl suffering from it. That's when I decided to be
"smart" and stop eating. Little did I know, that was a horrible mistake. I
never knew what the name of what I was leading up to until i saw that
movie.

No one noticed that i wasn't eating cause i'd make a lunch at home (for
school) and when i got to school i would throw it away and tell my
friends that I didn't have one that day or any money either and when I got
home(if my mom ever asked and she rarely did) I would tell my mom that I had it
at lunch.

At the time, I was glad that no one said anything to me about my anorexia, I
wanted to hide it from everyone, even myself at times. I'd tell myself
that everyone did this, that I wasn't alone. At this point in my life, my
friends and I were going to the mall every friday night around suppertime so I
would tell my friends that I had something before i left so I wouldn't have
to eat there. There where times when I felt so alone that I just wished
it would all end. I was tired of the whole battle and the voices telling
me to eat less or run more or whatever. I have never made myself purge
before, I have thought about it but never tried it. I would never have more than
one
"regular sized meal" a day at first and then I slowly started cutting
that down even more.

In 8th grade, my friend told my mom that I wasn't eating at school and
she forced me into therapy but it didn't work and I hated it cause i wasn't
ready for it yet so after a few months, I lied and told my therapist that I was
fine and that I didn't want to go anymore so I stopped. I suffered a lot til
I was in 10th grade when things stayed "alright" until the spring of last
year
(2000) when i decided that I hated how I looked and wanted to lose weight
again. By then, i was back in therapy for other reasons than my ED and I told
my therapist, and she helped me to think about what I really wanted.

So, after a bit, I decided that I didn't like it and I was tired of not
being able to have any fun or energy and after a few slips, started a
full-fledged recovery as of july 3rd, 2000. There's been a few sleps in
the road since then but I've gotten up(with the help of my friends) and
have been doing alright. It's been almost a year since i've been in recovery
and i'm loving it. It's not easy but it's so much better and easier than
living with an ED. and that's my story. if anyone wants to talk, you can email
me at kitty-angel@excite.com and i'll be happy to talk to you about
whatever.

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Ellie

United States

help4eds@yahoo.com

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Page Updated Sun Aug 12, 2001 11:20pm EDT