Dragonball - http://maxpages.com/elitepages/Jokes_Number

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A couple of old ladies are sitting on the patio in a retirement home. Both are bored.

Mabel: Nothing happens here, all the men are half-dead and no fun!
Doris: I agree. Let's do something that will jerk them into action!
So Mabel agrees to streak down the corridor and attract the attention of the old men that are sitting there sunning themselves.

She does this and the following conversation insues between Harold and Humphrey...

Harold: Humphrey, old boy, was that Mabel that I saw running past...
Humphrey: Hmm, I think so. Couldn't say for sure.

Harold: My eyes aren't too good these days. What was she wearing?
Humphrey: Hmm, couldn't say for sure, but whatever it was it was in need of ironing!

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Recently a teacher, a garbage collector, and a lawyer wound up
together at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter informed them that in order
to get into Heaven, they would each have to answer one question.

St. Peter addressed the teacher and asked, "What was the name of the
ship that crashed into the iceberg? They just made a movie about
it." The teacher answered quickly, "That would be the Titanic."
St. Peter let him through the gate.

St. Peter turned to the garbage man and, figuring Heaven didn't
REALLY need all the odors that this guy would bring with him, decided
to make the question a little harder: "How many people died on the
ship?" Fortunately for him, the trash man had just seen the movie
and answered, "about 1,500." "That's right! You may enter."

St. Peter then turned to the lawyer. "Name them."

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Bill and Marla decided that the only way to pull off a Sunday afternoon quickie with their ten-year-old son in the apartment was
to send him out on the balcony and order him to report on all the neighborhood activities.

The boy began his commentary as his parents put their plan into operation. "There's a car being towed from the parking lot," he
said. "An ambulance just drove by." A few moments passed.

"Looks like the Andersons have company," he called out, "Matt's riding a new bike and the Coopers are having sex."

Mom and Dad shot up in bed. "How do you know that?" the startled father asked.

"Their kid is standing out on the balcony too," his son replied.

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Page Updated Tue Jan 2, 2001 1:36pm EST