An old lady is rocking away the last of her days on her front porch, reflecting on her long life, when--all of a sudden--a fairy
godmother appears in front of her and informs her that she will be granted three wishes.
"Well, now," says the old lady, "I guess I would like to be really rich."
*** POOF ***
Her rocking chair turns to solid gold.
"And, gee, I guess I wouldn't mind being a young, beautiful princess."
*** POOF ***
She turns into a beautiful young woman.
"Your third wish?" asked the fairy godmother.
Just then the old woman's cat wanders across the porch in front of them.
"Ooh--can you change him into a handsome prince?" she asks.
*** POOF ***
There before her stands a young man more handsome than anyone could possibly imagine.
She stares at him, smitten. With a smile that makes her knees weak, he saunters across the porch and whispers in her ear:
"Bet you're sorry you had me neutered."
A burglar had broken into a mansion and was trying to figure out the combination of the safe when he felt something breathing
down his neck. He turned around to find a Doberman staring him in the eyes. The dog looked at him for about a minute, and to
his surprise, left the room. A few minutes later the Doberman came back into the room with a parrot on his back. The parrot
said, "It's a sin to steal, it's a sin to rob." He just kept saying it over and over again while the burglar continued to work on the
safe. After about five minutes of hearing the parrot repeat the same thing, the burglar finally lost his cool and yelled out, "You
stupid bird, can't you say anything else?"
The parrot responded with, "Sure can, Sic him boy!" |