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A man goes to hell and the devil greets him. He takes him to a hallway which has three different doors and tell the
man he'll have to choose one room to spend the rest of eternity in.

So he takes him to the first door and he opens it and sees everyone standing on their heads on wooden floors.
The man thought that would be pretty terrible to spend the rest of eternity on his head on such a hard floor and
asked the devil to show him the second door.

Everyone in the second room was standing on their heads on concrete. The man thought that was even worse to
spend the rest of eternity on his head on an even harder floor.

Finally the devil takes him to the third door and in that room everyone is up to their knees in dog poo and drinking
coffee. The man thought that was pretty bad, but at least they could drink coffee so he told the devil he chose the
third room to spend the rest of eternity in. So the man, up to his knees in dog poo, drank coffee for a few minutes.
Then the devil came back into the room and said "Coffee break is over. Back on your heads."

Two hunters were forced by a storm to seek overnight shelter in a house occupied by an old widow. When they met again the
following hunting season, one asked, "Tell me, Bob, did You screw that old bag we stayed with last year?"
"Yes," admitted Bob, "I'm afraid I did."
"And you used my name - and told her you were me?"
"Yeah, I did that too," laughed Bob. "I didn't knock her up, did I?" "No, no," smiled Bob's friend. "It's just that she died
yesterday and left me the house and a couple of hundred thousand big ones."

A guy finds a magic lamp, rubs it, and out comes a Genie. The Genie gives the man 3 wishes,but ads the caveat that whatever he wishes for goes twice for lawyers.

"I wish to have 10 million dollars," the man says. The Genie grants his wish and gives double
the amount to all lawyers.

"I wish for a loving, sexy, beautiful woman who is eternally devoted to me." The Genie grants
his wish and gives two such woman to all lawyers.

After some pause the man begins to smile. Intrigued, the Genie asks, "What is your final wish,
my Master."

The man replied, "I wish to donate a kidney."

A woman on her way home from market was carrying a duck.
A drunk staggered up to her and said ,"Hey! where'd ja get the pig?"
The woman replied," You drunken fool, that's no pig -- it's a duck!"
And the drunk said," Quiet, I was talking to the duck."

One day a women was taking a walk when see saw a lamp and rubbed and rubbed, finally a genie
appeared. He said you have three wishes, but under one condition your husband gets double what you wish for. "WHAT!, that
bastard he left me for a younger women.... OK,OK, I wish for a million dollars. POOF the money appeared at her feet, ...her
husband had 2 million appear. Next she wished for the worlds biggest diamond it appeared, ...her husbands got all sorts of
jewels. She told the genie she had to think about her last wish. She left for a little while, then came back and said she wanted
the genie to scare her half to death.

eric_666@hotmail.com

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Page Updated Tue Jan 2, 2001 1:36pm EST