Blonde Jokes - Personal - http://maxpages.com/elfart/Blonde

Q. How do you make a blonde's eyes light up?
A. Shine a flashlight in her ears.

Q. What do UFO's and smart blondes have in common?
A. You hear about them all the time, but you never see one.

Q. A blonde and a brunette are pushed out of an airplane. Which one hits the ground first?
A. The brunette, because the blonde had to stop and ask for directions.

Q. What do you call 25 blondes standing ear to ear?
A. A wind tunnel.

Q. What do you call 10 blondes in a refridgerator?
A. Frosted Flakes.

Q. Why is it good to have a blonde passenger?
A. You can park in the handicap zone.

Q. How can you tell if a blonde's been using the computer?
A. There's white-out on the screen.

Q. How can you tell if another blonde's been using the computer?
A. There's writing on the white-out.

Q. How did the blonde die ice-fishing?
A. She was run over by the zambonis machine.

Q. What does a blonde say when you blow in her ear?
A. "Thanks for the refill!"

Q. Why do blondes have more fun?
A. They are easier to keep amused.

Q. Why did the blonde climb over the glass wall?
A. To see what was on the other side.

Q. What do you do when a blonde throws a hand grenade at you?
A. Pull the pin and throw it back.

Q. How do you drown a blonde?
A1. Put a mirror at the bottom of the pool.
A2. Stick a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of the pool.

Q. What do you get when you give a blonde a penny for her thoughts?
A. Change.

Q. Why did the blonde get so excited when she finished the jigsaw puzzle after only 6 months?
A. Because on the box it said: From 2-4 years.

Q. How do you amuse a blonde for hours?
A. Write 'Please turn over' on both sides of a piece of paper.

Q. What did the blonde name her pet zebra?
A. Spot.

Q. How do you drive a blonde crazy?
A. Give her a bag of M & M s and tell her to alphabetize them.

Q. What goes: VROOM... SCREECH... VROOM... SCREECH... VROOM... SCREECH?
A. A blonde going through a flashing red light.

Q. Did you hear about the blonde who shot an arrow into the air?
A. She missed.

Q. What did the blonde say when she knocked over a priceless Ming vase?
A. "It's okay Daddy, I'm not hurt."

Two blondes observed in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of a Mercedes with a coat hanger:
Blonde #1: I can't seem to get this door unlocked!

Blonde #2: Well you better hurry up and try harder, because it's starting to rain and the top is down!

Q. How do you confuse a blonde?
A. Put her in a circular room and tell her to sit in the corner.

Did you hear about the blonde who locked her keys in the car? It took her an hour to get her family out of the car.

Q. How do blonde brain cells die?
A. Alone

There was this typical peroxide blonde. She was really tired of being made fun of and being called a ditz, so she decided to get a makeover. She went to a salon and had her hair done so that she was, once again, a brunette. Now that she was a brunette, she decided she would take a drive in the country. So she hopped into her convertible and started driving.
She saw a farmer and a flock of sheep and thought, "Oh! Those sheep are so adorable!" She got out and walked over to the farmer and said, "If I can guess how many sheep you have, can I take one home?" The farmer, looking skeptical, said she could.
So the blonde looked at the flock and said, "157." The farmer was amazed because she was right. She picked one out and was getting in her car when the farmer walked up to her.
"If I can guess the real color of your hair, can I have my dog back?"

Q. What do you call a blonde with two brain cells?
A. Pregnant

Three blondes were walking through a forest when they came upon a set of tracks.
The first blonde looked down at the tracks and said, "I think these are bird tracks."
The second blonde looked at them and said, "No, these are deer tracks."
The third blonde looked down, and BOOM!!! she gets run over by a train.

A blonde went into a pizza parlor. When she said that she'd like a medium pizza, the clerk asked her how many pieces she'd like to have it cut into: six or twelve.
"Oh, goodness, six please," said the blonde. "I don't think I could ever eat twelve!"

One day, a blonde and her friend were walking through the park. Suddenly, the blonde's friend said, "Oh, look, a dead birdie!" The blonde looked up and said, "Where?"

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Page Updated Mon Dec 6, 1999 7:33pm EST