The lyrics in the songs shed been listening to and considered her favourites took on a new light, they made sense in a way she never thought they would,sickenining her stomach,twisting and turning inside her with each cruelly truthfull lyric, like a slap in the face from your father, she curled upon the bed,eyes glazed looking into eternity and neither hating nor loving anything,her arms and legs now seperate entities to her,childhood was gone had she asked for it or not and her fragile frame was now seperate to themathematics and science moving at increasingly confusing rates in herhead.
"to create the marilyn monroe look you must not have hair longer than jaw length, and must be graded."
the city twisted beneath her, the school yards were always strange to her in autumn though she found the browns of the foliage and seemingly thebuildings and air,but this was no longer threatening as during the day it were a breeding ground for hate and ignorance,it was now night, bridges over suburban areas she had never noticed before, every house seemed to have at least 2 more floors and skylights through which cats curled up or stretched and wandered downstairs bleary-eyed and hungry,the sky itself almost a cartoon version of itself stars blurring into one another so that therewas barely a space between them, the motorways spiralling around the river,seemingly going nowhere, the river always looked evil but now thelights flickering from the rows and rows of shops picked out in the black water, looked like a million demons eyes connected to the spine which scraped along the bottom of the river bed making them weep.
strip lights splintered overhead,thousands of shafts of piercing whitelight rained down,the sterile white tiles unbearable to touch as she fell wide eyed into the bath clinging at the increasingly bloody white flannel in the chilly water like a security blanket, kissing and licking the rag as if it were the only thing that could bring back her youth and thesentmentality of her once perfect friendship with her mother.
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