I understand the impulses that might lead a living vampire to cut him or herself just to feel and see blood. I'm very familiar with the total fascination, the sense of getting high, the momentary easing of hunger that completely makes you forget that you're hurting yourself. When I was a teenager, cutting myself was just one of the dubious things I did to experience my own blood--and when my parents found out, there were consequences that didn't make me very happy. Now I realize clearly what a pointless and harmful exercise shedding your own blood is for a living vampire.
First: when you cut or hurt yourself to get blood, you're only ending up with a net loss. Not only are you stealing blood, nourishment and pranic energy from your own body, but you're placing stress on your body, as well. Physical pain causes stress, and your body's healing mechanisms are put into full gear to stop the bleeding, fight the introduction of microorganisms into your system, and repair the wound. You're only draining yourself of energy and life, and the "high" or satisfaction you're getting from the blood is a complete illusion. Drinking your own blood is like trying to stave off starvation by eating your own fingers. What would you gain? You only make the hunger worse.
Second: you're in danger of seriously hurting yourself, no matter how careful you think you are. Even if you're using stainless steel surgical tools (are you?), sterilizing them with every use (are you?) and sterilizing your skin before you cut (are you?), there is still a significant chance of infection. Your immune system might be lower than usual; there might be disease organisms in the environment. Even hospitals can't prevent infections in their patients, so how can you? And infections can have very serious consequences, including loss of a limb by amputation, and death. This is especially true if you don't get medical attention because you're afraid of having to explain how you got cut. In addition to this, accidents happen. Have you studied anatomy? Can you be sure that you won't sever a tendon or an artery? Veins and arteries under your skin will move around due to scar tissue forming, if you cut in the same place more than once. Every individual has a unique body structure, and you might perfectly well have an artery where one "isn't supposed" to be. Cut an artery, and the next question is, how fast can you dial 911, and how close is the ambulance driver? If you sever a tendon, you may lose the use of a finger or hand permanently. When there are sharp blades involved, nothing is predictable. Pets jump on you, phones ring unexpectedly, hands slip or jerk without warning. You never believe it would happen until it happens to you, or unless you read some of the collections of accidents and "strange deaths" compiled and published by Forteans. Trust me--NO accident is impossible.
Third: If you're a minor (and even if not), things like cutting yourself tend to be misunderstood by others if you are discovered. You will probably be assumed to be attempting suicide, and at the very least, your psychological stability will be questioned. Chances are high that you'll be placed in an institution for evaluation and possibly medicated. No one (but another living vampire) will understand or believe why you did what you did. A little blood isn't worth losing your freedom and the trust of those around you.
IF you are an over-21, consenting adult who is careful, informed and knowledgable, and you choose to engage in certain activities with other careful, informed, knowledgable adults in a setting where you are not alone and help can be quickly called if needed--that's one thing. I am not judging the choices of informed, consenting adults. But if you are a minor... or if you are of any age, but are cutting yourself alone, secretly, just to have contact with blood...
Please stop. You're hurting yourself, not helping. There are better and safer ways to meet your needs as a living vampire than by harming yourself or any unconsenting living thing. |