THE NEWS OLD LADY BRINGS DOWN UFO! We recently payed some random weirdos on the street $2 for them to interview a lady we heard about who made a UFO crash. She had a very interesting story she said she saw a UFO going the 5 m.p.h. speed limit by about 95 m.p.h. so she started throwing her home-made lemon cookies at the UFO and it crashed! So she checked to see if the 'aliens' were o.k. They were so she was glad and started hugging and kissing them and they died. Other stuff CHINESE PEOPLE ACUSED OF BEING FROM OTHER PLANET There is this one dude blamed Chinese people from being from a different plant since they have weird handwriting. Everyone including me thinks this guy is full of poo! Last time I checked Chinese people aren't green and they don't have three eyes! MORE NEWS SCHOOL LUNCHES ARE ALIVE!!! Just last week at lunch time I was just about to eat my lunch but then it started to stare at me! I touched it and then it started to move all around my plate and I wasn't pushing it! I'm expecting the school lunches to start an army by 2010! EVEN MORE NEWS WOLF CAN PLAY GUITAR! As you see in the picture above I recently discovered a wolf who can play rock songs such as Iron Man, Smoke on the Water, and Hells Bells. Unfortunately I didn't get any info because I got creeped out and ran away!