A water bearer in India had two large pots, one hung on each end of a pole which he carried across his shoulders. One of the pots had a crack in it while the other pot was perfect. It always delivered a full portion of water at the end of the long walk from the stream to the master's house, while the cracked pot arrived only half full. For a full two years this went on daily, with the bearer delivering only one and a half pots full of water to his master's house.

Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments, perfect to the end for which it was made. The cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection, and miserable that it was able to accomplish only half of what it had been made to do. After two years of what it perceived to be a bitter failure, it spoke to the water bearer one day by the stream. "I am ashamed of myself, and I want to apologize to you."

"Why?" asked the bearer. "What are you ashamed of?" "I have been able, for these past two years, to deliver only half my load because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your master's house. Because of my flaws, you have to do all of this work, and you don't get full value from your efforts," the pot said. The water bearer felt sorry for the cracked pot, and in his compassion He said, "As we return to the master's house, I want you to notice the beautiful flowers along the path."

Indeed, as they went up the hill, the cracked pot took notice of the sun warming the beautiful wild flowers on the side of the path, and this cheered it some. But at the end of the trail, it still felt bad because it had leaked out half its load, and so again the pot apologized to the bearer for its failure.

The bearer said to the pot, "Did you notice that there were flowers only on your side of your path, but not on the other pot's side? That's because I have always known about your flaw, and I took advantage of it. I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we walk back from the stream, you've watered them. For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate my master's table. Without you being just the way you are, he would not have this beauty to grace his house."

Each of us has our own unique flaws. We are all cracked pots. But if we will allow it, the Lord will use our flaws to grace His Father's table. In God's great economy, nothing goes to waste.

Don't be afraid of your flaws. Acknowledge them, and you too can be the cause of beauty. Know that in our weakness we find our strength.

- Author Unknown
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Build Up Your Self-Esteem

- Feeling good about yourself is the key to getting the most out of life.

When your self-esteem is strong, the sky’s the limit. You can do anything, go anywhere, achieve your goals and climb to the top of the world. But if your self-esteem plummets to an all-time low, for whatever reason, you feel a failure. Life goes rotten. People treat you like something unpleasant they’ve picked up on their shoes, while your hopes and dreams suddenly vanish into thin air.

Whether you’re at the top or bottom of the self-esteem stakes, psychologists believe that the way you think and view yourself is one of the most important factors in determining the state of your physical and mental health.

"The way we see ourselves shapes everything we do," says Alix Kirsta, author of The Book of Stress Survival. "If you are self-confident and value yourself, you feel that you are in control of your actions and your destiny. But if your confidence is low and you feel that you are not in control of your life, you are in danger of becoming a victim of persistent, overriding feelings of resentment, anxiety and fear."

Most experts believe that your sense of self-esteem goes back to your childhood. If your parents encouraged you to do well, rewarded you with affection, and praised and reassured you in times of doubt, it’s likely that this sense of self-worth will have been carried into adulthood. But if your parents talked down to you, stressed how you didn’t measure up to their expectations and always compared you to those wonderful children from across the street, then a cloud of self-doubt may hang over your head for years.

Vicious Circle: The way you see yourself affects not only your thoughts, but how others perceive you. If you possess a negative self-image, it’s like walking around with VICTIM written across your forehead. "The worst aspect of the 'negative self concept' is that once you start seeing yourself as a failure you begin to act the part," says chartered psychologist Dr. Terry Kellard. "Negative feelings feed on themselves and become a vicious, growing cycle which can encompass all your thoughts, actions and relationships."

But the great thing is that no matter how badly you’ve been treated and how little self-esteem you have, it’s possible to change your thoughts about yourself. Working through various self-esteem boosting techniques can turn your life around.

The first step in the journey towards greater self-worth is self-knowledge. "The more realistic and accurate your self-concept, the greater the value it will have for you," says Dr. Kellard. "Your self-esteem can be improved by trying to reduce the gap between that 'ideal self' -- what others and you want to be – and the 'actual self'. The shorter the distance between your ideal self and your real self, the higher the level of your self-esteem."

Few people possess totally negative or totally positive personalities; most of us stand somewhere between the two. An accurate picture of how we view ourselves can often lead us towards increased self-esteem. It is useful to complete what experts call an audit on your life.

Take 5 pages from a large notepad and at the top of each page write the headings: Personality, Work, Home life, Body image, Social relationships. Think about each section in turn and make one list of all your positive points and another list of your negative aspects. For each heading work out which list is longer, positive or negative. Then read through each list, replacing things such as, 'I feel awkward when I meet people' with phrases like 'Sometimes I feel nervous'.

If the audit shows you feel unhappy with any aspect of your life, think how it would be possible to improve it. If you wrote down, "I’m overweight", replace this with the thought, "Ideally, I’d like to weigh a healthy 130 or 140 lbs." Don’t just dwell on the downside; find things you like about yourself too. Most of us suffer from nerves when we’re about to step into a room full of strangers. If you feel anxious or shy, always remember that probably 99 per cent of partygoers feel exactly the same as you. Don’t think that you’ll end up in a corner on your own. Before going out, imagine yourself surrounded by interesting people. If you don’t know what to say once you’re there, ask polite questions. You’ll be amazed at the response.

Think Positive: If you’re feeling stuck in failure mode, think back to a time when you felt good about yourself. Whether it was winning the 100 metres at school, passing a difficult exam or moving into your first apartment, relive that moment when you’re feeling low.

"Self-actualization is what you are trying to achieve," explains Dr. Kellard. "This involves a willingness to pursue your ideal self on your own. As a self-actualized person you have a good idea of what is right for you and you can trust yourself, be flexible and, above all, open to change."

Image Power: Visualization exercises can help to fuel and increase self-esteem. Take a few deep breaths, then picture yourself making a good impression at a meeting or conjure up a scene where you’re the life and soul of the party. These images and techniques, repeated over time, help to change your perception and, as a result, your behaviour. Soon you’ll be wondering whether you ever had anything in common with that insecure person, plagued with self-doubt, and in a couple of months, your increased self-esteem will have done wonders for your health.


© 1998 Andrew Wilson
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What is Self-Esteem?

In order to be successful and happy, you must have a strong and healthy self-esteem! This means that you must be willing to make changes, to really care, to really try! Say these affirmations to yourself every day. Soon you will believe in yourself!

Self-Esteem consists of Two Components:

Self-Confidence

• I know that I can "figure" something out for myself.
• My mind is capable of understanding reality. I don't just "go with my feelings". I think about my decisions, wants and goals. I understand the difference between my "feelings" and my "thoughts". I respect my feelings, but I listen to my thoughts.
• I solve the problems of my life by trying and not just being passive. Sometimes I make mistakes, but I just keep plugging along until I fix them. I don't quit on myself!
• I am able to choose what I want for my life and not just be led by others.
• I judge what is good or bad, right or wrong for me. I don't just "go along" with whatever someone else says. I don't do things that I really don't want to do. I respect myself. I am my own boss.
• I must take personal responsibility for my whole life. I must stop blaming others for my troubles!
• I need to set goals and objectives for myself and my life!
• I will stop feeling bad about my mistakes and failures and concentrate on overcoming them instead!
• I must stop being passive and learn to be active! I will stop feeling sorry for myself every time something goes wrong or is difficult.

  Self Respect

• I have the right to earn my own happiness! I don't wait for others to give it to me.
• I set my own goals and I decide what is right for me!
• Even when it's difficult, I strive to achieve my own goals. I work hard at living up to my own standards and values. Even when I slip, I respect myself enough to keep trying. I know that having integrity means that I have to keep trying.
• I understand that my failures are just failures, my mistakes are just mistakes. I can change failure and I can fix mistakes. Making mistakes does not mean I am not worthy! Failing a test just means I don't have that skill yet, not that I am stupid! I understand that people who make fun of others for making mistakes or failing, have very low self-esteem themselves.

© Hands on Health