 My Story
 to hear Bridge Over Troubled Waters
for Healthy Breast Program
"We are faced with magnificent opportunities,
brilliantly disguised as impossible situations."
- Charles R. Swindoll
On the afternoon of Friday, December 5th, 1997, I chatted with my husband and father in the recovery ward; we were relieved my lumpectomy was complete and the surgery was a success. I hungrily ate a muffin followed by orange juice. My surgeon entered the curtained cubicle and sat at the foot of my bed. He placed his chin in his hands and said "I don't know how this could have happened-- the report from pathology says the lump is malignant-- you have breast cancer." I don't remember much after I heard his words; I do remember immediately losing the orange juice and muffin.
During the summer of '97, my family doctor performed my annual physical and found a small lump of approximately 2 centimeters in the lower portion of my left breast. She manipulated it and squeezed it and assured me it was most likely a cyst as it was soft, round and had not adhered to the surrounding flesh. Also, she took into consideration I had performed regular breast self-examinations, had no pain, no family history of breast cancer, was a non-smoker and a social drinker. She referred me to a surgeon for further investigation. The surgeon scheduled me for a mammogram, an ultrasound and needle biopsy. All three tests indicated I had a fibroadenoma or fluid-filled cyst. The surgeon indicated he would prefer to remove the lump even though all the tests had not indicated any cause for concern as "these things could develop at a later date."
And so, at age 38 and being the first diagnosed, pre-menopausal female in my family, my state of shock was the natural outcome of realizing my lumpectomy was much more than "routine day surgery." I was told I would require more surgery to remove a band of flesh where the lump had resided as it's margins were not clean. I would also need to have an axillary dissection (removal of lymph nodes) in order to ascertain whether the cancer had spread.
My husband arranged for me to be referred to the Marvelle Koffler Breast Centre at Mount Sinai Hospital where the next two surgical procedures were performed. During the time between December 5th and the date of the next surgeries, January 19th, I began researching my disease. I also began mega-dosing on phytochemical nutritional supplements, grain oils, vitamins C and E and salmon oil.
I continued my supplement regimen in the hospital while recovering from the two surgeries and awaiting the biopsy results. Ten days later, I was advised there was no cancer found in the flesh or in the 23 removed lymph nodes. I'm unable to describe the feelings of relief and gratitude I felt at this moment-- I only know that I carried this feeling with me from that day on. I am thrilled to be alive each and every day!
During my 6 week, at-home, post-op recovery, I continued my research, both into the physical ailment and the emotional challenge I faced when confronted with this life threatening disease. As many have done before me, I wondered why this had happened to me. What had I done to deserve this, etc.
During the commute back from one of my post surgery check-ups, I had the chance to speak with a business colleague. He told me he admired my decision to share my story via e-mail with family, friends and co-workers and congratulated me on a successful recovery. He asked me how I felt and I spontaneously expressed feelings of joy and peace and of knowing what really mattered in life-- no more searching, no more complaints, no disappointment or despair, there are only good days now... the cancer had revealed all to me. My colleague was taken aback at first and then jokingly remarked "Deb, you make it sound like you won the lottery!" My reply? "I have!"
My physical recovery included being hooked up to a drainage bag to collect lymph fluid that was accumulating in my left arm as a result of the axillary dissection as well as several physical exercises to bring the nerves in my left arm back online-- I'm now a left-handed mouse user; it's an easy way to stimulate and restore nerve and muscle tissue. Had I known then what I know now, I would have asked my surgeon if I was a candidate for sentinel node mapping which would have allowed me to retain the majority of the 23 removed lymph nodes. As a side note, although I did not require chemotherapy, tamoxifen or breast reconstruction, I was told I required radiation. After careful examination of the pros and cons, I declined treatment. I became well acquainted with two emergency rooms' staff and three homecare nurses. Nevertheless, coping with the physical obstacles was easier than facing the mental and emotional ones.
All the while, I continued my research through books, newspapers, magazines and the web. In addition to a loving spouse, a doting father and a wonderful cousin, I am most grateful to have a very supportive network of family, friends and co-workers who provided referral sources and information. Somewhere, and I can't pinpoint when this happened, I came to the realization the cancer was a gift-- it has enabled me to see life with new eyes! It stopped me in my tracks and forced me to ask myself some very basic life questions. I examined myself, my relationships, my goals, my life purpose. My cancer had provided a sound wake-up call-- a call that I'm very happy to say, took place at age 38 rather than later. It has allowed me to implement the appropriate life changes. These include better nutrition, not wearing a bra at least 12 hours a day, natural deodorant, using an anti-radiation screen on my PC monitor, effective stress management; physical exercise, yoga, the ability to recognize and deal with co-dependent relationships, control dramas and, most importantly, to structure a life of purpose and meaning.
There are many people who have helped me along my journey; my spouse, my father, relatives, friends, co-workers, naturopath, chiropractor, energy healer, massage therapist, etc. I've undertaken thermography (non-invasive breast scan), green herbal clay treatments, live cell analysis, body scans, lymphatic drainage massage, homeopathy, ear candling, magnetic healing, raw juice cleansing, coffee enemas, reflexology, therapeutic touch, colon hydrotherapy, moxabustion, fasting, chakra balancing, feng shui, reiki, visualization, accupuncture, traditional chinese medicine and have had our entire home scanned for indoor pollution (water/air quality, bacteria, molds, electromagnetic fields, etc.). In addition to purchasing an infrared sauna for daily use, we replaced our hot water tank with a tankless system to reduce emissions, installed low energy lights, switched to gas appliances and use chemical free lawn care services. Finally, and most importantly, I learned the value of meditation through the power of prayer.
I've listed some of the books that I found especially insightful and instrumental in guiding me during my journey back to health:
· You'll See It When You Believe It - Dr. Wayne Dyer
· Pocketful of Miracles - Dr. Joan Borysenko
· The Seat of the Soul - Gary Zukav
· A Manual for Living - Epicteus
· Women's Bodies, Women's Wisdom - Christiane Northrup
· The Complete Natural Medicine Guide to Breast Cancer - Sat Dharam Kaur, N.D.
· Awakening Intuition - Dr. Mona Lisa Schulz
· The Wealthy Barber - David Chilton
· Life Strategies - Dr. Phil McGraw
· Spontaneous Healing - Andrew Weil
· Siddharta - Herman Hesse
· Ageless Body, Timeless mind - Deepak Chopra
· 8 Weeks to Optimum Health - Andrew Weil
· 7 Habits of Highly Effective People - Stephen Covey
· Dr. Susan Love's Breast Book - Dr. Susan Love
· Dr. Susan Love's Hormone Book - Susan Love
· Emotional Intelligence - Daniel Goleman
· Think and Grow Rich - Napoleon Hill
· Healing Mind, Healthy Woman - Alice Domar & Henry Dreher
· Body Facts - Firefly Pocket Guide
· The Magic of Believing - Claude Bristol
· Women Who Run with the Wolves - Clarrisa Pinkola Estes
· Child of Eternity - Adriana Rocha & Kristi Jorde Review
· Oh, The Places You'll Go - Dr. Seuss
· Reclaiming Higher Ground - Lance Secretan
· Eat Right 4 Your Blood Type - Peter D'Adamo
· Peace, Love and Healing - Bernie Siegel
· Prescriptions for Living - Bernie Siegel
· Love, Medicine and Miracles - Bernie Siegel
· You Can Heal Your Life - Louise Hay
· How To Know God - Deepak Chopra
· Prescription for Nutritional Healing - Balch & Balch
· The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari - Robin Sharma
· Anatomy of the Spirit - Caroline Myss
· Living, Loving and Learning - Leo Buscaglia
· The Greatest Salesman in the World - Og Mandino
· Financial Freedom Without Sacrifice - Talbot Stevens
· The Celestine Prophecy - James Redfield
· Birth Order and You - Dr. Ronald W. Richardson
· The Power of Now - Eckhart Tolle
· Man's Search for Meaning - Victor Frankel
I've listed below useful websites, specific to breast cancer:
Centre for Integrated Healing
Breast Cancer Guide
The Healthy Breast
Cancer Guide
Breast Self-Care
Breast Cancer Resource Centre
Canadian Cancer Society
National Cancer Institute
TCM & Breast Cancer
I gathered the fruits of my research and built this site. It is my hope that people (especially women) will visit the site and benefit from the referenced information by taking responsibility for their own health, wealth, emotional and spiritual well-being.
Building the site was an empowering experience as I gained energy from the realization I could be an instrument of hope for others and perhaps make their search for information a bit easier. Those visitors who have signed my GuestBook as well as the Globe & Mail's article in April, 1999 have confirmed this site is a source of information and inspiration and I am thankful for your feedback! Please contact me via e-mail to share your story, suggestions and comments.
On October 29th, 1999, or 22 months after my cancer diagnosis, I received a severance package from my employer of 21 years. I view this event in a positive light and am, once again, looking for "the opportunity in the difficulty."
The beautiful piece below summarizes how I feel today and every day!
Special thanks to Dr. Saul Sidlofsky and Dr. Joyce de Azavedo of Mount Sinai Hospital, Myrna Capon (breast cancer volunteer), Dr. Glenn Boggio (chiropractor, nutritionist and osteopath), Ann Ashby (RMT), Lauren Gillen (RMT), Wendy Wolfe (Accupuncture & TCM) Paola di Paolo (Yoga Teacher) and Francesco Ciano, Certified Fitness Instructor.
© Debra D'Souza
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The Best Day of My Life
Today, when I awoke, I suddenly realized that this is the best day of my life, ever!
There were times when I wondered if I would make it to today; but I did! And because I did I'm going to celebrate!
Today, I'll celebrate what an unbelievable life I have had so far: the accomplishments, the many blessings, and, yes, even the hardships because they have served to make me stronger.
I will go through this day with my head held high, and a happy heart. I will marvel at God's seemingly simple gifts: the morning dew, the sun, the clouds, the trees, the flowers, the birds. Today, none of these miraculous creations will escape my notice.
Today, I will share my excitement for life with other people. I'll make someone smile. I'll go out of my way to perform an unexpected act of kindness for someone I don't even know. Today, I'll give a sincere compliment to someone who seems down. I'll tell a child how special he is, and I'll tell someone I love just how deeply I care for her and how much she means to me.
Today is the day I quit worrying about what I don't have and start being grateful for all the wonderful things God has already given me. I'll remember that to worry is just a waste of time because my faith in God and his Divine Plan ensures everything will be just fine.
And tonight, before I go to bed, I'll go outside and raise my eyes to the heavens. I will stand in awe at the beauty of the stars and the moon, and I will praise God for these magnificent treasures.
As the day ends and I lay my head down on my pillow, I will thank the Almighty for the best day of my life. And I will sleep the sleep of a contented child, excited with expectation because I know tomorrow is going to be the best day of my life, ever!
© Gregory M. Lousig-Nont, Ph.D.
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"Be the change you want to see in the world." Gandhi 
"A person's true wealth is the good he or she does in the world." Mohammed (PBUH)
"All things are possible to those who believe." Jesus
"Life is a bridge; enjoy while crossing, but don't build a castle upon it." Upanishads
