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As everyone else makes their predictions, this is the Official DCHLä prediction sheet. Of course, none of us are ever right so don’t take our comments to heart. Starting with the Eastern Conference

Atlantic Division
1. Flyers (1)- Why else wouldn’t I put myself first? My team is solid all around, but playoff goaltending is still a question. The core is aging so the Flyers must win sometime soon or everything will go for naught. A few more minor deals could be made before the deadline to ensure the top seed in the East.
2. Islanders (4)- Sean, like always, has acquired his favorite commie (Fedorov) and former Isle (Luongo). His team looks poised to challenge for the Atlantic, but will fall short. Lack of depth on offense and defense could serve to be a problem if injuries occur.
3. Devils (5)- Bob has turned this team into something that doesn’t even resemble Devil Hockey. It seems a change was needed and Brodeur was shipped and offense seems to be the main priority with the acquisition of power forward Todd Bertuzzi. Lack of depth and team chemistry will be New Jersey’s downfall.
4. Rangers (7)- DC looks to have turned the team around, sending mefirst players away such as Bure, Nedved and the overrated Dunham to Washington. The Rangers shored up their weak defense by acquiring Gonchar. However, all the firepower that Bondra and Kolzig bring to Broadway will not be enough to beat anyone else in this strong division.
5. Penguins (15)- The team is pitiful. Trading away Mario leaves the team with no credibility. The three top players are Nedved, Klatt & Claude Lemieux. Rookie goaltender Fleury gives the Pens some credibility, but not much. This is going to be a long season in the Steel City, wish this team luck.

Northeast Division
1. Senators (2)- With Toronto trading away its nucleus, Ottawa moves up by default. With young stars such has Havlat and Hossa leading the way, the Sens should score many goals. And while Lalime is not one of the best goaltenders in the league, he is very capable of keeping the puck out of the net.
2. Maple Leafs (6)- After trading Ed Belfour for Manny Fernandez, Mike must be questioned. However, he traded away many of his older players (Roberts, Belfour) for some younger talent (Morris, Connolly). With Sundin & Mogilny, this team should be solid, but question marks linger in goal.
3. Bruins (8)- Joe Thornton will bring this team into the playoffs by himself. With no visible help, the B’s will struggle to make the playoffs. The deal trading away Samsonov for Jeff Friesen is questionable at best.
4. Canadiens (11)- With the acquistion of JS Gigure, the Habs do not improve at goal and trading away offensive star Rich Zednik does not help. The defense is not as strong and Gigure may see 30 shots a game. These Habs will miss on the playoffs by about six points.
5. Sabres (12)- While some moves have been made in Buffalo, no star (other than Satan) exists. Future all-star Marty Biron was dealt for Tommy “Stick Side” Salo. Buffalo will compete but falter down the stretch.

Southeast Division (NASCAR division, Cotton Pickin’ Division)
1. Capitals (3)- Since no one really DESERVES to win this division, it goes by default to Washington. Bure, Daze & Palffy will lead this team. Trading for Mario will defiantly help this team. A downgrade in goal will ensure that the Caps will be playing 6-5 games. How many of these they win will become a mystery.
2. Thrashers (Ted Turner’s Trash Pickers) (9)- The Thrash are a good young team. With Heatley & Kovalchuk this team will be one of the more exciting teams to watch. A weak defense and a rookie goalie (Lehtonen) could be the downfall of this team. They will miss the playoffs by a couple points.
3. Lightning (10)- Vic has not made any moves this season and that could hurt him in the end. Lecavilier will have to put up monster numbers to help Tampa into the playoffs. Khabibulin remains one of the quickest goalies in the league.
4. Hurricanes (13)- This team is in poor shape, the only “stars” are Ron Francis & Rod Brind’Amour. Both of those guys are older and the team doesn’t look to have any young talent. They will beat out Florida for the basement by a few points.
5. Panthers (14)- If they had Luongo, this ranking could be higher. But Florida’s goaltender is Garth Snow and Florida will be in the running for DCHL’s annual award that no GM wants to win.

Western Conference

Central Division
1. Red Wings (2)- Despo’s team should be one of the best this year, with goalies Hasek & CuJo (and Jeff Hackett on the bench) and with eight top defensemen. The offense is great and they should go far in the playoffs.
2. Blues (6)- This team is a solid team, not a dominating team but not a lottery team. Has some stars in Tkachuk & Weight, but not much overall depth. They could surprise Western teams and go deep into the playoffs, depending on matchups.
3. Blackhawks (11)- They have some young talent but not good enough for the playoffs. Thibault will have to stand on his head for this team to get that far.
4. Predators (12)- The only thing that puts the Preds this high is Tomas Vokoun, who will have to be all-world for Nashville to make the playoffs.
5. Blue Jackets (14)- I’m only putting Blue this high because he’s a vet. The team MIGHT compete for the playoffs next year or the year after, but not this year.

Northwest Division
1. Avalanche (1)- Ray has improved this team (How is that possible?) acquiring goaltender Eddie Belfour. The rest of the team (lead by Forsberg, Sakic & Hedjuk) has been improved by Brewer, Deadmarsh, Allison & Gaborik.
2. Canucks (4)- Joe has dealt Bertuzzi and brought in Yashin & Sykora. Naslund is still here and this team will be exciting. The goaltending still has a question mark though. This team should be #3 in the West, but because of the divisional rankings, will be 4th.
3. Flames (9)- Eric may have some trouble in Alberta, with a weak team. Iginla will be a force, no matter who is around him. Flames fans will be happy as long as they finish ahead of the Oilers.
4. Oilers (10)- Loki has taken apart his team, trading away Salo, Oates & Brewer while receiving younger players. This team is in a rebuilding mode, but still can compete while rebuilding.
5. Wild (15)- Trading away Gaborik & Fernandez was not a smart idea. This team wasn’t good to begin with, but has gotten worse.

Pacific Division
1. Kings (3)- Will’s tough guy squad may go over well in the East, but before you hit them, you have to catch them. They are a good team, but could lack the speed to be a dominant factor in the West. Depending on matchups, they could go far in the playoffs or fizzle out in the first round.
2. Stars (5)- Dallas is a solid team overall, but Marty Turco will raise this teams ranking. Guerin & Modano will have to lead this team and score 40 goals each to win this division
3. Ducks (7)- Marty Brodeur makes this team an instant threat. The depature of Fedorov hurts the offense, so this team will have to win 1-0 or 2-1 games. The lack of defense could hurt Brodeur. Marty has never seen 30+ a game consistently and we will find out if his success is because he’s good or the system that he was in.
4. Sharks (8)- Another solid team, but not likely to be a contender. They will scrap for every point and make the playoffs. This blue collar team should look for a major deal or a first round exit.
5. Coyotes (13)- Another pitiful team, get ready for the June entry draft and next year. Couple good players who could make an impact but not likely an impact that will be noticed.

East Final- Flyers over Ottawa in 7 games
West Final- Avalanche over Red Wings in 6 games
Stanley Cup- Avalanche over Philly in 6 games

DCHL Predictions:
1. After a 3 game losing streak (including a 6-0 drubbing to Despo’s Wings) Ray, throws the controller at the game and breaks it. After a week of waiting and Ray buying a new one, the Avs lose again 4-1 to the ‘Nucks. Ray goes on a rampage and threatens to buy the Rangers.
2. After a colossal showdown between George Steinbrenner (Ray) and Theo Epstein (Will), the military is called in to bring order to the rink, when Will (frustrated by all Ray’s deals) sends out his goons to beat up on Forsberg, Sakic & Hedjuk. Ray fires back by sending out Peter Worrell in the rematch (who by this time learns how to skate) and all hell breaks loose. In the third period, only 7 players remain from each team, including only one goalie.
3. Dan, Sean, Bob & DC converge at the All-Star break on how to form their own league. Seeing as they want to just compete with themselves, they decide to create the Confederacy of DCHL (which was DC’s creation, and lasts about 3 hours). Sean, Bob & Dan all deny a part in this activity as the league finds DC guilty of treason and is sentenced to 10 days in the DCHL Penalty Box.
4. Guard feels that he needs to toughen up his Senators before a game with the Maple Leafs, so he signs Ogie Oglethorpe to a one-day contract, in which Toronto quits because Tie Domi is scared.
5. Meanwhile, during Mario’s return to Pittsburgh, the three fans in the arena boo him. However, the fans are from Washington and demand the Pens take back Jagr (who is on his 6th team of the season). The Pens fans are smiling because “they saved twenty bucks to watch the game on TV at home.”
6. And finally, before the trade deadline, the Rangers trade Jagr & Lindros to Florida for a meatball sandwich. By this time, the sandwich has one less goal than Jagr and four less concussions than Lindros. DC’s take on the trade, “It’s better than eating Jagr’s or Lindros’s meatballs.”

And this ends the preview as put out by DCHL. We will soon find out how many of these predictions will actually turn out right. Probably half. Have a good season and enjoy the free buffet food at the all-star game.

Ladies and gentleman will is back to report on the DCHL...I'm gonna share with you all my very bias and very insightful views on the league...I'm do the whole league so bear with me...I'ma start out with the East and putting them in the place they may finish in and if you dont like my opinion...Tuff...thats means u DC!

East

ATLANTIC

(1)PHILLY- Dan continues to use the Flyers and stay and elite team in the east...With an amazing core of vets in amonte,roenick,rechi,leclair, ect and a very solid defense and With an upgrade at goalie getting checkmanic back from LA and a few trades here and there this preseason he seems to be the favorite in his division because the Devs,Isles,and rags(permiting DC doesn't mess up) are on his ass. But if The flyers stay healthy They could very well win the East.offense

(4)NEW JERS- Bob is shying away from the traditional devils teams and going wit a high octane offense and Bertuzzi looks like he will fit in nice.Devs hasn't losing much D...His goalie situation concerns me cuz he is on his 3rd goalie and its just been downgrades...Brodur-95 to giggy-93 to Theodore-91...but with a strong d there should be no trouble in there game. Unless Bob does a really bad trade and/or some of his players gets hurt they will be competing to take over the Atlantic.

(5)NY ISLES-Sean the defending DCHL champ is #3 in this tuff division...He added Feds and Laungo both great player...And He has plenty of role players which will make or break where he finishes in the Atlantic but I promise you Sean will make some noise throughout the season wit trades and when he makes the p-off watch out!

(8)NY RAGS- OK look this is DC's team...He isn't to smart of a gm nonetheless he's not to intelligent at all. But He still has a team that will make noise and a lot of it...If his team doesn't break down wit injuries they Would be on top of the Atlantic but DC needs all his players 2 stay healthy but its not gonna happen thanx 2 Lindros...But DC will make the playoffs...Unfortunatly

(15)PITTSBURGH- Rookie gm + Bad team = DEAD LAST IN THIS DIVISION!!!

NORTHEAST

(2)Beentown- Joe Thorton and Felix the cat= #1 in the Northeast...I don't like This GM but u gotta have a little respect for this rook if he wins his division.

(6)OTTAWA- Guard is a Legend in DCHL and I will say that guard will prolly have his team on the top of this division soon..BUT for right now he will be placed in the 2nd spot of this division...But a few trades and his team will blow threw the rook.

(9)LEAFS- Ehhh...no belfore no moginly...I can see them barely makin the playoffs.

(11)Buffalo- Buffalo has a solid team but it needs 2 have a better D to win in the northeast...With Satan and Carter leading the way for this team who knows what the "hell" will happen 2 this teams...lol get it satan, hell, nm....

(14)MONTREAL- I dunno the gm and this team looks like a slightly upgraded pittsburg so umm yeah good look guy.


SOUTHEAST AKA the cotton pickin division

(2)Washington- Big Nate is prolly gonna take the Southeast by storm with is suicidal all offense no defense approach he's gonna win games cuz his goalie Dunham is a 90 but watch out for nate gettin more offense and possibly a better goalie...Oh yeah he got ZIGGY!!!

(7)A-TOWN- Another rookie but he has a good head on his shoulders...He has some big scorers on his team in kova, heatly, and dvorak and an ok goalie...ATL should be able to hold they own in the southeast and may make the p-offs.

(10)TAMPA BAY- L933 thinks he has a good team and is a stingy gm But he may have a right cuz he has an ok team that can make a little noise but they need 2 make a few moves 2 make the playoffs.

(12)CAROLINA- The carolina panthers are the defending NFC champions and with a great defensive line they will be amongst the best in the NFL...wait this the huricans...opps wrong team oh well they suck and umm yeah...fans rather watch an UNC/DUKE game...hell i know i would!

(13)Floriduh- See pitt

Western

CENTRAL

(2)REDWINGS- DESPO has a nice teams and great D he gas 8 dmen over 80 and in my book thats good! Hull,yzerman,shanny and company will own the central with ease and there is no stoping them!

(5)ST LOUIS- The blues are another team that has a great D and watch for them to Give Despo a good Fight...but will fall a little short.

(10)BJs- BLUE!!! Ur team is better than the preds and blackhawks...good job by you but u still suck!

(12)NASHVILLE- Not wort wasting my time make a report

(14)CHICAGO- See Nashville

NORTHWEST

(1)COLORADO- Ok ray has made the Avs into the Yankees of dchl...They are the evil empire...Sakic,Foresberg,Dead,Allison,Foote,blake,ect,ect he has a nice team plus the trades he's made and upgrade at goalie...The Avs have 2 worry about LA, Detroit, and Vancover, But hey Ray will Prolly stay on top...
But I hope not.

(4)VANCOUVER- JJ Its up to U to take down ray and is army of awsome hockey players...You can do it as long as u dont make no trades to ray...With a goalie upgrade Vancover quite possibly will deafeat ray over and over and could be #1in the northwest...but its not gonna happen so #2 is where he shall fall!

(7)CALGARY- Iginla and Snow will carry this team and may make the p-offs. Adding a supporting Cast will make the Flamers really really dangerous!

(9)EDMONTON- Good job by u for trading wit LA but not 2 smart in trading your best to colorado... I dont get the purpose of trading within your own division...Burrying yourself in a whole eh loki? But I can make u a promise he will make more trades and he'll be better than Blue...But who isnt?

(15)MINNESOTA-See Nashville

PACIFIC

(3)Kings- You know I had to make my kings #1 I added some need fire power In Selanne and Roberts...I have some good talent in zetterberg, isbister,york,the aging Oates. My defence is really solid and in goalie i have Manny "LEGACY" and DC's good ol' buddy Byron Dafoe...Watch for me and my trigger happy team to go as far as the cup!

(6)Stars-Ok i'ma be honest dallas is a really good team and i mean good but with winks as there gm and no trades being made i dunno how they will fair prolly with the good ol #2 spot cuz i said so

(8)Sharkies- A lady gm in rays old team hmmm...Oh well they are a good team and may make the play offs...But thus far i have not seen personally a femal do well in dchl sorry shore...

(11)Ducks- Why Would u trade FEDS! just for that u lose! BTW this fool sims while trading...He thinks his technique will work but he's gonna lose out on a lot of trades this way.

(13)Yotes- LADISLOV NAGY!!!!!!!!! Even with him your not doin a damn thing in my division


Will Predictions for the season

EAST FINALS: Philly goes up 3-0 in the Eastern Conference Finals over Beentown but loses 3 in row ..In game 7 the game goes into quadruple overtime and the flyers brashear scores the game winning goal!

WEST SIIIIIIIIIIIIIDE FINALS: The season series of KINGS/AVS is split even... As it is in the playoffs...Game 7 The Kings Manny Legace Shuts out the Avs while Big Mike Greir Knocks Sakic out of the game in the first...Selanne Scores the first and only goal of the game wit 2min left in the 2nd from a one-timer by Zetterburg

FINALS: The fans in Philly pull out their old "BEAT LA" Banners While in LA they have a new slogan "dont get shot in Philly"...Every game seemed to fall on the fist of Greir and Brashear...The winner of every fight team won...So 6 LA Beats Philly in LA winning 4-2 in the series and LA beats philly again....its a damn shame...but i win a cup!

DCHL Enterprises © 2001
Philadelphia Pennsylvania

psychodude19@aol.com

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