My Hair - Transplant horror
My name is Edward WoodWood, and I'm going to tell you a story of horror and fear ......... yes folks, I had a hair transplant. WHICH WENT WRONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Well, it all started when my hair fell off, and being a hair - obsessive, I couldn't live without it. So I went to the hospital to get a hair - transplant.
It was all going marvellously well, until I got home. Well actually it was still going well then. I said hello to my children and they said wow! (im 17 but have quite a lot of children. By the way I live in Texas.) So everything was going swimmingly, until late at night ..................................
Suddenly, I felt a russeling on my head. I thought something had crawled into my hair, ( LIKE A WHITE SPIDER ON A COMPUTER) but it wasn't that, no it wasn't. So I pulled my hair off to have a look. And then .............. THE HAIR STARTED TO STRANGLE ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I was like, no I must be dreaming, but I wasn't, it was really happening and I was like argh, no! So yeah, like, I threw it but it bounced back and and landed on my head again. There was a silence. I must have gone mad and gone back to sleep.
The next day, I was feeling weird. I thought what had happened the night before might have been a dream, because the hair was peacefully resting on my head. So I went to the murder store (hang on, I havn't done that before) and bought lots of weapons. I then realised I was murdering people without even knowing. When I got back home, my wife and children had gone and left a note for me, saying ......"we can't live with a murderer," So I went and found them, put them in a car and drove off a bridge (im sorry, law im a changed man now) this was a magical car, so luckily i didn't have to drive it. I stood and watched it drive them off a bridge. And laughed until I cried. With joy. After that, I thought I was too dangerous to be around normal people,so I went into solitary confinement (in other words I locked myself up in my room) But there was this URGE for me to go out to London to find a husband at celebrity parties. I found a man called Bill Young (*name changed for protection), took him to a place called Whitehall Chapel and then, did the dirty deed.
The next day, I woke up in motel room, and decided, Right, that's enough, I have to found out whose hair this really is. So I went to church, because I had an inkling that it was evil Reverand Greenish, and thought I would talk to the people he worked with to find out if he gave hair transplants, but then I rememebered that PRIESTS DON'T HAVE HAIR!!!!!!!!! So I decided it must be the most evil most talented murderesses in the world .......... EDWINA AND KATHERINE DARLING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So I went on their website, which is now set in memory for them, and was totally enlightened, and decided to follow the darling path forever!
*please note that this is a story which is from the future. *Bill Young is not yet dead, or you gossip - hungry papps!!!!!!!!
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