A tale of fear and betrayal - Miscellaneous - http://maxpages.com/darlingmagic/One_scary

This is a tale about two wonderful people who were distracted from their wonderfulness one scary night. Can you guess who the two people are? No? It's us, you silly fellows! Anyway, here goes ...

WARNING: Do not read this if you have a fatal heart condition or are pregnant. this story is so exciting you may ... DIE!
(obviously men don't get pregnant so they wont die if they're pregnant ... anyway.)

One night in the year 2000, when we were both 10 years - old, Katherine and I were doing our daily job as marrying, murdering and stealing. Well, we were both out husband - searching in a top London nightclub, which seemed a bit strange, but we couldn't work out why. So we both found our soon - to - be in a few hours husbands, mine was called ? and hers was called ... ? we'll call mine ?1 and Katherine's ?2. Well, anyway, by now we had put something in their drink and they were as stoned as a stone could be, and they seemed to be acting a bit over - the - top about it all. But we, like clueless fools, went along with it.
When we got to Las Vegas (this is where we get married every night in the Whitehall Chapel - this is where people like Ross and Rachel - Friends and Britney spears got married and it's a place for fools. apart from us - just the men) we arrived at the chapel. "Hello there, Stankowski and Spikings," the vicar welcomed us when he saw us pull up in our rich husband's limos.(the vicar knows our faces very well, but he doesn't know our names as it would be a bit stupid if he found out about the murder and figured out it was us - he wouldn't do that anyway he's a daft fool.) ?1 and ?2 kept laughing and nudging each other but we couldn't fathom why. so we just continued being us and got married. We would happily for - the - next - couple - of - hours after. OR SO WE THOUGHT!!!

The end

Oh ... I forgot to finish didn't I???! Bet you little blighters ... I mean darlings got a bit scared you wouldn't find out what happened there, didn't you??? Well Im continuing now so no worries.

Basically ?! and ?2 had somehow found out that we were going to murder them, as there was 1 man who revived himself once we murdered him and his last words were "Stankowski and Spikings ... whitehall chapel" - he said that to ?1 and ?2 cos he knew them or something. So ?1 and ?2 went to whitehall chapel and asked about stankowski and spikings and the vicar showed us secret footage of one wedding that had been recorded. Typically, ?2 recognised my (edwina's) face as he was my next - door neighbour (didn't notice him there! Maybe he was the annoying one who kept throwing fish through my door ..? anyway ...) So he worked out that we married men murdered them and stole their money, so he got his friend ?2 and they followed us to the London nightclub and married us.

So we got married, and went in the limo to this flashy apartment in New York city - this was ?2's place, but there was lot's and lot's of space. So we were just privately discussing (katherine and I) how we would steal this apartment once we killed them, and we were arguing over who was going to use the candlestick to kill them and who was going to do the very boring and unoriginal routine of putting poison into dinner, blah blah how B O R I N G. And then in comes ?1 and ?2 and ?1 says trying to sound evil but actually sounding like a stupid prat, "What are you doing ? (it turns out I married Simon Amstell from Popworld) Are you trying to figure out how you're going to ..... murder us ?" Of course we were completely astonished as no one apart from our family and our school and neighbours knows ... oh yeah i forgot he was my neighbour how stupid of me to tell my own husband I was going to murder him ... KATIE I'VE FIGURED OUT ... oh I'll tell her in a minute when she's finished this RUDDY MATHS. (hint for katie-stop doing maths) So Katherine said the most stupid thing she's ever said as a reply. She said, "yes." and I was like "no no no of course not" and then katherine realised what she had said and started saying no as well, so we stood there for what seemed like hours saying "no no no no no no no no no" like a couple of foolish parrots, so I guess that they guessed we were lying. And then ... they said, "well, we're going to give you a taste of your own medicine." I guess they meant that they were going to attempt to murder us. We never found out. Cos we murdered them 1st.
Bye!

Moral of this story - never attempt to murder a murderer.

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Page Updated Wed Jun 9, 2004 7:30am EDT