Hello there, darlings. This is Edwina and Katherine - well you know this is our very own personal website!!! - and here is our very own biography. We're calling it a biography, because, well, y'know.(?) Anyway, Katherine is going to start off by writing the first part of our story. So here we go ...
Edwina and Katherine's autobiography
It all started when she popped out. That's how Edwina came into the world. Her parents were very rich and when she was just one they moved to a wonderfully huge house in sussex somewhere. That was where she met me, Katherine. When we reached two we were so clever our parents sent us to University in London with our personal trainer as we liked to call him, but our parents seemed to think he was a nanny. So we kindly informed them he was a man even though his name was Bob, our parents were very suprised. On our third birthday we decided "That's it ", we had had it with the British Education system. So we decided to run away, which is easier said than done, (even for super-geniuses). We decided to set up Bob with another man, (knowing about his sexuality), we set him up with a model called Phillip. Then when he was out one day at Phillip's house for the evening we crept out of the house and made our way through the cold streets of London heading for Scotland. It took us five years to finally find our way out London, because Katherine, (me), was following Edwina and Edwina was following her nose, and everyone knows that Edwina has a nose for celebrity parties. So all we did was sniff those out for five years and because we had millions of pounds to spend drinks, drugs, and ciggies, just came and went. We were eight by now and so thought it was it was time we stated to act more sensibly. Meaning we started to become more interested in men. Edwina first, naturally. So we sniffed those out for another five years, and sniffed other things as well, but that's another story. By thirteen we thought, gosh after being married twenty times each, we ought to settle down and get our selves an occupation. We thought about, Lawyers ect. but then we came to the conclusion - let's be MURDERERS! So for the last year we have married, Oh I've lost count now......but probably around 365 times. We murder our husbands you see, and then in our grief we take all the money and go to another country (we've travelled round the world 100 times). Well we could name you all the people we have murdered but we're so ashamed with what we've done we've forgotted who they were.
That was a lie.
The End
P.S we're not really murderers. We're not. Don't believe anything we say!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! please |