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Jokes
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| Jokes |
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| Have a joke? Email it to me! |
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| The Interveiw | The Gorilla Joke |
| Three guys go in for a job interview, all at the same office. The first one goes in for his interview and the interviewer says, "What's the first thing you see when you look at me?" The guy says, "That's not too hard, you've got no ears." The interviewer says, "That's it, get out, you'll never be seen around here again." The second man takes his turn and is asked the same question. The applicant replies, "Uh, you've got no ears." The interviewer throws the guy out, cursing and yelling that he'll never get a job with his company. As the second guy is leaving, the second guy warns the third guy, "Listen man, whatever you do, don't say he hasn't got any ears. He's really touchy about it." "Okay," said man #3 on his way into the office. Once inside he is told, "Name the first thing you notice when you look at me." The guy answers, "That's easy, you wear contacts." The interviewer is flabbergasted. "How on earth did you know that, son?" The applicant answered, "What? Are you stupid? You can't wear glasses, you got no ears!" |
A man woke up one morning, looked out the window, and saw a huge gorilla in the tree in his back yard. Feeling very nervous, he grabbed the phonebook and looked up gorilla exterminators in the Yellow Pages. He called the exterminator, who said he would be right out. The exterminator arrived in a van, hopped out, and opened the door. He took out a large net, a shotgun, and a fierce-looking dog. "OK", he said, "this is how it works: I climb the tree and shake it and the gorilla falls to the ground. The dog runs over and bites him in a vital spot. While he's disabled, you throw the net over him. I'll come down and we'll tie him up." As the exterminator started up the tree, the man called, "What do I do with the shotgun?". The exterminator said, "Sometimes when I shake the tree, the gorilla shakes it back and I fall out of the tree. If that happens, you shoot the dog." |
| Yuppy Joke | You know your to serious about computers... |
| A yuppy opened the door of his BMW, when suddenly a car came along and hit the door, ripping it off completely. When the police arrived at the scene, the yuppy was complaining bitterly about the damage to his precious BMW. "Officer, look what they've done to my Beeeeemer!!!", he whined. "You yuppies are so materialistic, you make me sick!!!", retorted the officer, "You're so worried about your stupid BMW, that you didn't even notice that your left arm was ripped off!!!" "Oh my gaaad...", replied the yuppy, finally noticing the bloody left shoulder where his arm once was, "where's my Rolex!!!!!" |
If you did an error-free installation of Windows 95. When your modem starts smoking. If no one can reach you by phone since your computer is always online. If you log-off your system only because it's time to go to work. If you call in sick because you found a great new WWW site. If you can type your top 10 favorite Web sites, by heart. If you can locate a particular home page without using a search engine. If you can write your own html page. If while reading a magazine, you look for the Zoom icon for a better look at a photograph. You comment, while watching a sunset, that the image would be enhance with 10% more magenta and a higher resolution. If while driving down the street, you are confused by the numbers on the houses - they do not appear to be legitimate WWW addresses. When someone tells you to remember something, and you look for File/Save command. When you discover there is no little car icon with a forward arrow on the dashboard of your car, to make it go. When you think the File/Kill command should apply to your system administrator. When you add your third modem and dedicated phone line. You access Microsoft's Web page every Sunday morning for Brother Bill's sermon. When that 112Gb hard drive is full. When your desk collapses under the weight of your computer peripherals. If you have an "online" light installed on your car to tell you when the engine is running. When you discover that in order to drive your car somewhere, you do not enter an http:// or ftp:// address. If you can actually talk to the computers in your new car - and understand what they say. When you modify the programming of your car's computers and actually get better mileage. When you can access the Net - via your portable and cellular phone. If on the way home from work, you use your portable and cellular phone in your car, to reprogram a Tomahawk missile, in flight, and redirect it to take out the joker in the Cadillac who cut you off. |
 Eeps_12@yahoo.com It's my sisters email but I use it too. |
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