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Where have they gone
Quotes
Poll
Insights into my mind
Me
Last Words
Rant #1
Hush
Another year
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| Quotes *Inspirational and some not so inspirational* |
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| "Don't walk behind me I will not lead, don't walk in front of me I will not follow, just walk beside me and be my friend." --Unknown "Advice is like snow; the softer it falls, the longer it dwells upon, and the deeper it sinks into the mind." --Samuel Coleridge "The soul would have no rainbow, had the eye no tears." --Unknown "Moral character is assessed not by what a man knows, but by what he loves" --Augustine "Character is like a tree and reputation like its shadow. The shadow is what we think of it; the tree is the real thing." --Abraham Lincoln "A man would do nothing, if he waited until he could do it so well that no one at all would find fault with what he has done." --Cardinal Newman "The faintest ink is more powerful than the strongest memory." --Old Chinese Proverb "The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy." --Martin Luther King, Jr. "The difference between 'involvement' and 'commitment' is like an eggs-and-ham breakfast: the chicken was 'involved' - the pig was 'committed'." --unknown "Who knows for what we live, struggle and die? Wise men write many books, in words too hard to understand. But this, the purpose of our lives, the end of all our struggle, is beyond all human wisdom." --Alan Paton It's a dog eat dog world out there. And they're short on napkins. Never trust a stockbroker who's married to a travel agent. On the other hand, you have different fingers. Disneyland: A people trap operated by a mouse. Common Sense Isn't. Sooner or later, EVERYONE stops smoking. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. The best way to save face is to keep the lower part shut. "Revenge has no more quenching effect on emotions than salt water has on thirst." --Walter Weckler "Love me when I least deserve it, because that's when I really need it." --Swedish proverb "Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names." --John F. Kennedy "You could wake up dead tomorrow." --Homer Simpson "The secret of success is to know something nobody else knows." --Aristotle Onassis "It is said that if there were no darkness in the world, it would not be possible to see the light; if this is the case, starlight is all the more rich for its illumination of the night sky." -Scott Fowler Words alone give you nothing. If nothing you put behind those words, nothing to you will come. If behind those words you put yourself, your life, your power, your essence, then to you the thing you ask for will come........ "True friendship comes when silence between two people is comfortable." --unknown "One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I'll never know." --Groucho Marx "The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it." --Franklin P. Jones Based on what you know about him in history books, what do you think Abraham Lincoln would be doing if he were alive today? (1) Writing his memoirs of the Civil War. (2) Advising the President. (3) Desperately clawing at the inside of his coffin. --David Letterman "The old believe everything, the middle-aged suspect everything, the young know everything." --Oscar Wilde "Have a heart that never hardens, and a temper that never tires, and a touch that never hurts." --Charles Dickens "Enjoy the little things in life, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things." --Antonio Smith "If human beings don't keep exercising their lips, he thought, their mouths probably seize up. After a few months' consideration and observation he abandoned this theory in favor of a new one. If they don't keep on exercising their lips, he thought, their brains start working." —Douglas Adams in "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" "One word frees us of all the weight and pain in life. That word is love." -Sophocles "Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society." --Mark Twain "Sometimes the only way you can feel good about yourself is by making someone else look bad. And I'm tired of making other people feel good about themselves." --Homer Simpson "In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move." --Douglas Adams I used up all my sick days, so I'm calling in dead. Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change. Proofread carefully to see if you any words out. There cannot be a crisis today; my schedule is already full. I'd explain it to you, but your brain would explode. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again? A conclusion is simply the place where you got tired of thinking. I don't have a solution but I admire the problem. Don't be so open-minded that your brains fall out. "Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't." --Erica Jong "Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it." --P. J. O'Rourke "Too many people are thinking of security instead of opportunity. They seem more afraid of life than death." --James F. Byrnes "Sarcasm is the safe alternative to expressing anger." --Richard North Patterson "People are lonely because they build walls instead of bridges." --Unknown "The opposite of bravery is not cowardice but conformity." --Robert Anthony "The hardest of all is learning to be a well of affection, and not a fountain; to show them we love them not when we feel like it, but when they do." --Nan Fairbrother "The word 'genius' isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein." --Joe Theisman, NFL quarterback I never think he is quite ready for another world who is altogether weary of this. --Hugh Hamilton "Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall down an open manhole and die." --Mel Brooks "Why does everyone think that I am a cruel and insensitive man? I mean, come on, I have kids... on my desk in little jars!" --Stephen King "Look, we're Americans: optimistic, addicted to the quick fix, constantly on the hunt for the new and exotic. It's much easier for us to accept a guy with a big white beard hawking his own custom blend of saw palmetto and squirrel dandruff than it is to hear a real doctor telling us to lay off the Big Macs, and get off our fat asses and take a walk every decade or so. “ –Dennis Miller "A day without sunshine is like, you know, night." -Steve Martin "It is possible to provide security against other ills, but as far as death is concerned, we men live in a city without walls." --Epicurus "Once the game is over, the king and the pawn go back in the same box." --Italian Proverb "In the hands of a teenager, a seat belt buckle is a lethal weapon." --National Highway Traffic Safety Administration Official on why there are no seatbelts on public school buses If all of your wishes are granted, Many of your dreams will be destroyed.. Did you ever notice how the word `sidewalk' looks like it's made out of two words, `side' and `walk', and how it's not `sidestand' or `sideblock' or `side-make-a-circle-and-chat'? Just a thought. Using your turn signal is good, but if you start it after you're mostly in the new lane, don't bother, because you know, we pretty much get the idea. Using your turn signal is good, but if you start it after you're mostly in the new lane, don't bother, because you know, we pretty much get the idea. "It is difficult to free fools from the chains they revere." -- Voltaire "Choose silence of all virtues, for by it you hear other men's imperfection, and conceal your own." -- Zeno of Cetium (336 - 264 B.C.) Greek philosopher, founder of the Stoic school "Education: the inculcation of the incomprehensible into the indifferent by the incompetent." -- John Maynard Keynes (1883-1946) English economist "Bite me, it's fun!" -- Mystery Science Theater 3000 sticker "No job too dirty for the fucking scientists." -- William S. Burroughs "My manner of thinking, so you say, cannot be approved. Do you suppose I care?" -- Marquis de Sade "Nobody's interested in sweetness and light." -- Hedda Hopper, on gossip "You have offended yourself. I have done nothing but exist." -- Scott Safier "Any idiot can face a crisis--it's this day-to-day living that wears you out." -- Anton Chekhov "It wasn't until I had performed by first autopsy that I realized that even the drabbest human exteriors could contain the most beautiful viscera. After that, I would console myself for the plainness of my fellow bus-riders by dissecting them in my imagination." -- J. B. S. Haldane Those of us forged in the crucibles of difference know that survival is not an academic skill." -- Audre Lorde "I have all the defects of other people and yet everything they do seems inconceivable to me." -- E.M. Cioran "When I was growing up my parents had a sandpit... it was a quick-sand pit... I was an only child, eventually" -- Stephen Wright "I base most of my fashion taste on what doesn't itch." -- Gilda Radner "Optimism: The doctrine that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly, everything good, especially the bad, and everything right that is wrong... It is hereditary, but fortunately not contagious." -- Ambrose Bierce "The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds; and the pessimist fears this is true." -- James Branch Cabell "We are the people our parents warned us about." -- Jimmy Buffett "We are sorry to announce that Mr Albert Brown has been quite unwell, owing to his recent death, and is taking a short holiday to recover." -- Parish Magazine "The sea rises, the light fails, lovers cling to each other, and children cling to us. The moment we cease to hold each other, the sea engulfs us and the light goes out." -- James Baldwin. "There are a lot of crazy people in this world and I am only two or three of them." -- Bob Cope "All generalizations are bad” -- R. H. Grenier The only lesson history has taught us is that man has not yet learned anything from history. -- Anonymous If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten. -- George Carlin "Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you're a mile away and you have their shoes, too." "If we had a keen vision of all that is ordinary in human life, it would be like hearing the grass grow or the squirrel's heart beat, and we should die of that roar which is the other side of silence." -- George Eliot [Mary Ann Evans], British writer "Every man ... should periodically be compelled to listen to opinions which are infuriating to him. To hear nothing but what is pleasing to one is to make a pillow of the mind." -- John Ervine, saint "Caution: Cape does not enable user to fly." -- Batman costume warning label "I think the pilot on my last trip was pretty new to his job. I base that on his pre-flight announcement, 'We're going to be taking off in a few... Whoa, here we go!'" -- Unknown You cannot be lonely if you like the person you're alone with. -- Wayne Dyer "There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened." -- Douglas Noel Adams, British author, "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" "Organized crime in Amerca takes in over forty billion dollars a year and spends very little on office supplies." -- Woody Allen "Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet." -- Dave Barry “I thoroughly disapprove of duels. If a man should challenge me, I would take him kindly and forgivingly by the hand and lead him to a quiet place and kill him." -- Mark Twain "I always have a quote for everything. It saves original thinking." -- Lord Peter Wimsey "Loyalty to petrified opinion never yet broke a chain or freed a human soul." -- Mark Twain, American author, humorist "If in the last few years you haven't discarded a major opinion or acquired a new one, check your pulse, you may be dead." -- Frank Gelett Burgess, American writer, illustrator No one can rightfully say they are a virgin, for life has screwed us all. -- Anonymous "Lisa, if you don't like your job you don't strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way." -- Homer Simpson "If you really want something in life you have to work for it. Now quiet, they're about to announce the lottery numbers." -- Homer Simpson "Now son, you don't want to drink beer. That's for Daddies, and kids with fake IDs." -- Homer Simpson "Marge, it takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen." -- Homer Simpson "Maybe, just once, someone will call me 'sir' without adding, "you're making a scene.'" -- Homer Simpson "To alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems!" -- Homer Simpson "I want to share something with you - the three sentences that will get you through life. Number one, 'Cover for me.' Number two, 'Oh, good idea, boss.' Number three, 'It was like that when I got here.'" -- Homer Simpson “Life is anything that dies when you stomp on it.” -- Dave Barry Once you get people laughing, they’re listening and you can tell them almost anything. -- Herb Gardner Maybe the grass looks greener on the other side of the fence because that is where the leaky septic tank is buried - Anthony L. Ingram "We have probed the earth, excavated it, burned it, ripped things from it, buried things in it. ...That does not fit my definition of a good tenant. If we were here on a month-to-month basis, we would have been evicted long ago." -- Rose Elizabeth Bird, former California Chief Justice Women: You can't live with them, and you can't get them to dress up in a skimpy little Nazi costume and beat you with a warm squash or something... -- Emo Phillips I got in a fight one time with a really big guy, and he said, "I'm going to mop the floor with your face." I said, "You'll be sorry." He said, "Oh, yeah? Why?" I said, "Well, you won't be able to get into the corners very well." -- Emo Phillips Probably ... the toughest time ... in anyone's life ... is when you have to murder a loved one because they're the devil. -- Emo Phillips I ran three miles today. Finally I said, "Lady take your purse." -- Emo Phillips I'm a great lover, I'll bet. -- Emo Phillips Some mornings it just doesn't seem worth it to gnaw through the leather straps. -- Emo Phillips I was walking down the street, something caught my eye ... and dragged it fifteen feet. -- Emo Phillips I love to go down to the schoolyard and watch all the little children jump up and down and run around yelling and screaming. They don't know I'm only using blanks. -- Emo Phillips When I was a kid, I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realized that the Lord, in his wisdom, didn't work that way. So I just stole one and asked him to forgive me. -- Emo Phillips ...and always remember the last words of my grandfather, who said, "A truck!" -- Emo Phillips Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me, either. Just leave me the hell alone. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire. It's always darkest before dawn, so if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it. No one is listening until you fart. Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else. Never test the depth of the water with both feet. It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a bad example. It is far more impressive when others discover your good qualities without your help. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish and he will sit in a boat & drink beer all day. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it. Don't squat with your spurs on. Some days you are the bug, some days you are the windshield. Don't worry, it only seems kinky the first time. Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it in your pocket. Timing has an awful lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance. A closed mouth gathers no foot. Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side & a dark side, and it holds the universe together. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your mouth is moving. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it. Never miss a good chance to shut up. We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse. Supermodel Wisdom: ON TRAVEL "I haven't seen the Eiffel Tower, Notre Dame, the Louvre. I haven't seen anything. I don't really care." -- Tyra Banks ON BREAKTHROUGHS "Once I got past my anger toward my mother, I began to excel in volleyball and modeling." -- Gabrielle Reece ON EPIPHANY "I just found out that I'm one inch taller than I thought." -- Christie Brinkley ON THE BASICS "It's very important to have the right clothing to exercise in. If you throw on an old T-shirt or sweats, it's not inspiring for your workout." -- Cheryl Tiegs ON INSTINCT "If I'm making a movie and get hungry, I call time-out and eat some crackers." -- Carol Alt ON OCCUPATIONAL HAZARDS "I tried on 250 bathing suits in one afternoon and ended up having little scabs up and down my thighs, probably from some of those with sequins all over them." -- Cindy Crawford ON THINKING "When I model I pretty blank. You can't think too much or it doesn't work." -- Paulina Porizkova ON MOTIVATION "It was kind of boring for me to have to eat. I would know that I had to, and I would." -- Kate Moss ON VERSATILITY "I can do anything you want me to do so long as I don't have to speak." -- Linda Evangelista ON VENGEANCE "Girls are always getting mad at each other and they tell their hairdresser to purposely mess up another girl's hair." -- Tasha |
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