CWA Television - Now you can see your favorite wrestlers 26 hours a day...yes 26 hours a day!!!! - Wrestling

Welcome to the Official Page of CWA TELEVISION!!! OH MY GOD!!! See...Contrary to what you believe...the CWA isn't that rich...Yes..I know its hard to believe....As we said on the homepage, our famous CWA Real F'n Hard(C) rings didn't do to well...Mainly when our good friend Andrew Franck(Matrix)bought one to practice on in his backyard and well...Andrew is still struggling on life support...it seeems he was practicing a Matrix Flip and...well...believe me it has nothing to do with Andrew doing the move but then noticing that this particular ring was made out of scotch tape and shredded newspaper and then plummeting through the ring onto the concrete..well now lemme get back to my the story... after the "accident", the CWA got sued by other children who bought our rings...Trey Utah, Mick Weakling, Dewey Foley, and other children...It seems they took us to court and sued us for $52.10...And well the CWA counter-sued them for $52.10...So then we remembered something...we don't have a lawyer...So after watching many and many lawyer commercials on Television...we noticed something...we don't have any money...So we asked if any of our wrestlers would be our lawyers...It came down to Box Social Boy, Cereal Killer, and Joey...So to test them...we told them to complete a test...The test was to see how many hard-boiled eggs you can eat in one hour...Box Social Boy ate 51...Cereal Killer ate 59..and well Joey..he ate...758947590827527439857249875289437598247592374987 of them...thus, he was our lawyer...We go to court...and we find out that they hired Robert Shapiro as their lawyer...So the Stage was set Robert Shapiro vs. Joey...Well long story short....Joey calls Tim up to the witness stand...and well..Joey told Tim he had a girlfriend...Tim goes psycho...Joey and Tim fight in the court...and well during the fight..Tim grabs the Judge's glass of water...and drinks some...and says,"That's fucking vodka man!"(C)...Then the judge goes nuts...beats the shit out of Tim and George and we lose....So then we sit outside the courthouse and think how we can make money to pay them back...thus..CWA TELEVISION!!!!

CWA TELEVISION OH MY GOD!!!! The following are a list of our official CWA TELEVISION SHOWS!!!!

Joey's Angels- This new semi-retro tv show features CWA Superstars Joey and Lori!!! And it introduces two new people!!! KARLY AND SARA!!!! Lori, Karly, and Sara are crime-fighting vixens who kick ass and never break a nail!! HA HA HA!!! They fight under an anonymous man named only Joey...They've never seen him and always wonder who he is...will they ever know..Joey: durr....good morning angels...Angels: Good morning Joey!!!....You will hear this and many other famous catch-phrases on Joey's Angels....Other than just them you'll catch many other CWA Superstars on Joey's Angels making appearances: Moriss, Duncan, Macho Nacho, Box Social Boy, Wifebeater, Underweartaker, Fozzy, and all the other jobber wres...I mean and all the other great wrestlers we never use...i mean..wrestlers we haven't gotten to use yet...

Utah Talk- The new CWA TALKSHOW STARRING THE MORMON MACHINE!!! JIMMY UTAH!!!! Day in and day out Jimmy Utah will take on various issues like Teen Sex, Lesbian Love Triangles, Racisim, Teen Drug Use, and his yearly special: How to Burn A Nigga To Perfection!!! Lets Read a clip from an upcoming show, Sex Tips From Tommy Dreamer: Jimmy: So Tommy..lets talk about them orgasms!!! Tommy: Well Jimmy lemme compare orgasms to wrestling...See in my opinion wrestling is like a great orgasm...When your doing a big-time move..you want the crowd to build up the move...and you wait until they're about to "cum"..And when you feel its about to happen...you do the move and make the people cum!!! But don't rush it..make it come nice..and make it feel good for both of you...Jimmy: Wow!!! And Since that's from Tommy Dreamer...you know it works!!!

Cal Poly High- See...one of our own wrestlers, Joey, goes to a very special school..its CAL POLY HIGH!!! Our academy acclaimed comedy...which gives you everything..comedy, romance, teen puppy love, teen sex issues, flying robots and DICK VARMEIL!!!..Don't Just Take My Word For It..Read OUR FAMOUS OPENING SONG!!! (put song in tune to what you think it sounds like) GROUP OF SINGING WOMEN: CAL POLY HIGH!!! WE GOT FOOD, WE GOT FUN,WE GOT GAMES, WE GOT EVERYTHIIIIINNNNGGG!!!! WE GOT JOEY..JOEY: Durr hello!...SINGING WOMEN: WE GOT GEORGE....GEORGE:hehehehehe school!...SINGING WOMEN: WE GOT LORI!!!..LORI: Your the faggiest fag i ever met you fag...your just a big fag..fag!!!..SINGING WOMEN...WE GOT SCREECH!!!!...SCREECH: (say in cracking voice) I'm fourty years old but my voice is still cracking!..SINGING WOMEN: WE'VE GOT SOLAR AND ATMA...S&A: We're from the CWA!!!..SINGING WOMEN: WE'VE GOT DICK VARMEIL!!!!...Dick Varmeil: Damn Kids!!!!....SINGING WOMEN: THIS IS CAL POLY HIGH!!!! YEAH!!!! You can tell just by the song...this'll be a hit!!!! Well hear...read a part from an upcoming episode on teen sex: Mrs. V: C'mon Joey come over here and sit next to me on the couch...Joey: Durr...here i come Mrs. V..durr...why are you taking my underpants off...Mrs. V: Take Me Joey!!! Joey: where? I'm low on gas and you need a jacket..She tells Joey what she means and Joey obliges to it...Mrs. V: Now just make sure you wear a condom...Joey: durr...but i don't have one...Mrs. V grabs one out of her purse and gives Joey one....Joey tries a countless amount of times and says: Durr...how do you put this thing on?..HA HA HA!!! I HAVE A FEELING JOEY WILL GET INTO MISCHIEF AND FUN LIKE THIS EVERY SINGLE EPISODE!!!!

23- The CWA new Action-Drama in which the whole season happens in 23 real-time hours!!! Starring CWA Superstar Hype in which he plays a US Marshall trying to protect a candidate for senate from assasination..but countless events and disasters happen along his mission...Both in his business and personal life...In the show his own daughter disappears and he must try to find her and protect the senate candidate at the same time...On the first episode...it'll occur between 12:00 a.m and 1:00 a.m...and all of it will be in real-time minutes because CWA TV is real f'n hard(C)...In the first episode you'll meet all the characters...His Wife-Berline Sutherland..His Daughter-Ellis Suthlerland...Him-Keith Sutherland...The Assassinator (played by EX. Comm. Bacon)-Rudy Gulionni..and his fellow marshalls, Kip Meth(played by Solar), Veronica Jay(played by Lori), Neil Chronic(played by George), and Darryl Weed(played by Boy Executive)...just the cast already tells me its going to be action packed, and f'n hardcore(C)...

That's all the CWA TV Shows for now but soon....We will update the page with all our new CWA TV SHOWS COMING OUT LATER IN THE YEAR!!!!!

Sign Guestbook

View Guestbook

~mailto:JimmyUtah14@hotmail.com,EatIt27@hotmail.com

Visitors: 00032

Page Updated Wed Nov 7, 2001 8:00pm EST