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Lyrics
Introducing
A Shocking Experience
Coming on to You
The Unfinished Song
The Turtle Song
Candidate Commercial
Bag on Head
Ode to My Dislike
Katie Batista
Jerks
A Subtle Look in the Mirror
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Andrew: That's quite a large glove you have there, Jason. What in the world do you use that for?
Jason: SLAPPIN' JERKS!
Andrew and Jason: Slap them jerks in the morning. Slap them jerks at night. Slap jerks all day long, you know that it's all right. (2x) Right.
Andrew: Went to the store to get some potatoes.
Jason: Thought you had some tater tots?
Andrew: Nope, I just ate those.
Got what I needed in a jiffy
Gotta admit, I was lookin' pretty spiffy.
Headed toward the checkout lane
"10 Items or Less," the other lanes are lame
Just as I'm walkin' up
This jerk runs in and decides to cut
"Hey!" I said. "No reason to be rushin'"
Jason: "Fo'get you, man. Shut up and quit yo' fussin'"
Andrew: "I see how we're playin' this game," says I.
Wound right up, slapped that jerk and made him cry.
Andrew and Jason: Slap them jerks in the morning. Slap them jerks at night. Slap them jerks all day long, you know that it's all right. (2x) Right.
Jason: Yeah its all right. Rush Limbaugh and Sean Hannity,
Neil Cavuto, and Bill OReilly.
These guys get a knee-jerk reaction when their loud mouths awake me when Im nappin
A knee to the stomach followed up with a good slappin
Loud mouth false intellect pundits faces turn red when I run this
Ill slap Ashcroft, Rumsfeld, and dont forget Wolfowitz
You think you and your cronies have yet to make a mistake
Youll change your mind quick when I put on my slappin glove
Ill show you what really means to receive tough love
I abuse jerk crews and slap snivelling shrews
You think its hard having the soul you do
Ill show you a hard sole when I slap you with my shoe
I said Id slap you and you thought I lied
I mailed the GOP a letter with a big hand inside
Andrew and Jason: Slap them jerks in the morning. Slap them jerks at night. Slap them jerks all day long, you know that it's all right. (2x) Right.
Andrew: Man, I love it when I'm being tailgated
By a truck or a bus when they're trying to make it somewhere
But hey, I am, too
And I don't necessarily like being pulled over when I'm goin' 82!
When its rainy out and its night out.
And the cop is really nice, but it just puts a damper on things.
So why don't you just pass me like all the others do.
TourCo Travels, I don't care about you!
Jason: I slap jerks with glee when they talk junk to me.
Thats how you do it when you carry a big glove.
People think theyre tough when they give you a shove.
Please fool, Ill slap you with three fingers.
Three fingers just to take your pride.
I put your ego in my pocket and away I ride.
Andrew and Jason: Slappin' jerks in the morning. Slappin' jerks at night. Slappin' jerks all day long, you know that it's all right. (2x) Right.
Jason: Thats right! Straight slappin jerks.
Slappin jerks on the hill.
Slappin angry jerks with mad skill.
Slappin the jerks at Fox News.
Bringing the glove down on all you foos.
(In background) That goes for ABC too.
Andrew and Jason: Slappin' jerks in the morning. Slappin' jerks at night. Slappin' jerks all day long, you know that it's all right. (2x) Right.
Andrew: (Spoken) Hey, Jason, the jerk store called, they're runnin' out of you!
Jason: (Spoken) What?
Andrew: (Spoken) Yeah, you heard me.
Jason: (Spoken) You're such a jerk.
(Jason slaps Andrew)
(Music stops)
Andrew: (Spoken...or yelled...) YOU SLAPPED ME!!!
Jason: (Spoken...or yelled...as well...) YEAH! JERK!
Andrew and Jason: Slappin' jerks in the morning. Slappin' jerks at night. Slappin' jerks all day long, you know that it's all right. (2x) Right.
(Music stops a lil' bit later)
Andrew: (Spoken) Yeah! Thats a wrap...jerks.
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