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39 things you'll never hear a redneck say


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39. "I'll take Shakespere for 1000,Alex"
38.Duct tape won't fix that
37.No,Bobby Joe,don't go out in that filthy pair of over-alls
36.No,I don't like beer
35.We don't keep firearms in this house
34.Has anyone seen the sideburns trimmer?
33.You can't feed that to the dog
32.I HATE Possums
31.No kids in the back of the pick-up,it's not safe
30.Wrasslin's fake
29.I thought Graceland was tackey
28.We're vegatarians
27.Do you think my hair is too big?
26.I'll have grapefruit instead of gravy on biscuits
25.Honey,do the bonsai trees need watering?
24.Who's Richard Petty?
23.I'll take the small bag of pork rinds
22.Deer heads detract from the decor
21.Spitting is such a nasty habit
20.I just couldn't find a thing at wal-mart today
19.Trim the fat off of that steak
18.I don't like the idea of shooting those poor little deer
17.The tires on that truck are too big
16.Yum,this $100.00 caviar tastes just devine
15.No,I refuse to fry that chicken,too much grease
14.Would you like your fish poached or broiled?
13.No,dear,you cant have those cut-offs
12.She's too old to be wearing a bikini
11.No,you can't buy that Southern Rock CD
10.I can't stand a nasty yard
11.Suzy,you had better park that car in the garage
10.Checkmate
9.Don't wear that tube-top
8.NO!! Don't buy that WD-40!!
7.Does the salad bar have bean sprouts?
6.I don't watch football
5.We must buy the cedar table,I refuse to use a wire spool
4.Be sure to bring my salad dressing to the side
3.Elvis who?
2.I'd rather mow my lawn than burn it
AND THE #1 THING YOU'LL NEVER HEAR A REDNECK SAY.....
1.Those shorts ought to be a little longer,Darla


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