Eminem - songs 9-16 - Songs - http://maxpages.com/crazybaby/The_Slim_Shady

9: Role Model

Okay, I'm going to attempt to drown myself.
You can try this at home.
You can be just like me.

mic check, 1, 2
we recording?
i'm cancerous so when I diss you wouldn't wanna answer this
if you responded back with a battle rap you wrote for cannibus
I'll strangle you to death and i'll choke you again
and break your fuckin legs til your bones poke through your skin
you beef with me, im'a even the score equally
take you on jerry springer and beat your ass legally
I get you blunted off of funny home grown, cuz when I smoke out
I hit the trees harder than sonny bono (oh no)
so if I said I never did drugs
that would mean I lie and get fucked more than the president does
hillary clinton tried to slap me and call me a pervert
i ripped her fuckin tonsils out and fed her sherbert
my nerves hurt, lately i'm on edge
grabbed vanilla ice and ripped out his blonde dreads
every girl I ever went out with has gone lez
follow me and do exactly what the song says:
smoke weed, take pills, drop outta school, kill people and drink
then jump behind the wheel like it was still legal
i'm dumb enough to walk in a store and steal
so i'm dumb enough to ask for a date with lauren hill
some people only see that i'm white, ignorin skill
cuz I stand out like a green hat with a orange bill
but I don't get pissed, ya'll don't even see through the mist
how the fuck can I be white, I don't even exsist
I get a clean shave, bathe, go to a rave
die from an overdose and dig myself up outta my grave
my middle finger won't go down, how do I wave
and this is how i'm supposed to teach kids how to behave?

now follow me and do exactly what you see
don't you wanna grow up to be just like me?
I slapped women in each room then o.d.
don't you wanna grow up to be just like me?

me and marcus allen was butt-fuckin nicole
when we heard a knock at the door, must a been ron gold
jump behind the door, put the orgy on hold
kill them both and smear blood on the white bronco (we did it)
my mind won't work if my spine don't jerk
I slapped garth brooks out of his rhinestone shirt
i'm not a playa just a ill rhyme saya
that'll spray an aeresol can up at the ozone laya
my rap style's warped
i'm runnin out the mourge witcha dead grandmother's corpse
to throw it on ya porch
jumped in a chicken hawk cartoon with a cape on
and beat up foghorn leghorn with an acorn
i'm bout as normal as norman bates
with the forman of traits
a pre-mature birth that was 4 minutes late
(mother, are you there, I love you
I never meant to hit you over the head with that shovel)
will somebody please explain to my brain
that I just severed a main vein with a chainsaw and i'm in pain
I take a breather inside
either i'm high or i'm nuts
cuz if you ain't tiltin this room neither am i
so when you see your mom with a thermometer shoved in her ass
then it probably is obvious, I got it on with her
cuz when I drop this solo shit, it's over with
I bought cage's tape, opened it and dubbed over it

I came to the club drunk with a fake id
don't you wanna grow up to be just like me
I been with 10 women who got hiv
don't you wanna grow up to be just like me
I got genital warts and it burns when I pee
don't you wanna grow up to be just like me
I tie a rope around my penis and jump from a tree
you probably wanna grow up to be just like me

10: Lounge

This is for all the ladies out there...

I never meant to...
give you mushrooms girl
I never meant to...
bring you to my world
And now you're lying in the corner...crying
Yeah, woooo!

11: My Fault

I never meant to give you mushrooms girl
I never meant to bring you to my world
but now you're sitting in the corner crying
and now its my fault my fault
I never meant to give you mushrooms girl
I never meant to bring you to my world
but now you're sitting in the corner crying
and now its my fault my fault

I went to Jon's grave with Ron and Dave
and met a new wave blonde babe with half of her head shaved
A nurse aid who came to get laid and tied up with first aid tape
and raped on the first date
Susan, an ex heroin addict who just stopped using
Who loved booze and alternative music
Told me she was going back into using again
I said 'Wait first try this hallucinogen
Its better than heroin, haze,the booze, and the gin
c'mere lets go in here'
'Who's in the den?'
'Its me and Kelly'
'My bad' (sorry) 'lets try another room'
'I don't trust you'
'Shut up slut, chew up this mushroom
this will help you get in touch with your goods
we'll get barefoot, butt naked and run in the woods'
'Oh hell, I might as well try em this party is so drag'
'Oh dag! I didn't mean for you to eat the whole bag!'

I never meant to give you mushrooms girl
I never meant to bring you to my world
but now you're sitting in the corner crying
and now its my fault my fault
I never meant to give you mushrooms girl
I never meant to bring you to my world
but now you're sitting in the corner crying
and now its my fault my fault

'Yo Sue!'
'Get away from me I don't know you'
'Oh shoot she's tripping!'
'I Need to go puke!'
'I wasn't tryin to turn this into something major
I just wanted to make you appreciate nature.
Susan, stop crying I don't hate ya
the worlds not against you, I'm sorry your father raped you
so what you had your little coochie in your dads mouth?
That ain't no reason to start wiggin and spazz out'
She said 'HELP ME I THINK IM HAVING A SEIZURE!'
I said 'I'm high too bitch quit grabbing my T-shirt! (LET GO!)
Wont you calm down, you're starting to scare me'
She said 'I'm 26 years old and I'm not married'
'I don't even have any kids and I cant cook'
'I'm over here Sue you're talking to a plant look
we have to get to a hospital before its too late
cuz ive never seen no one eat as many shrooms as you ate'

I never meant to give you mushrooms girl
I never meant to bring you to my world
but now you're sitting in the corner crying
and now its my fault my fault
I never meant to give you mushrooms girl
I never meant to bring you to my world
but now you're sitting in the corner crying
and now its my fault my fault

'Susan..wait where are you going? you better be careful!'
'Leave me alone dad, I'm sick of getting my hair pulled'
'I'm not your dad, quit trying to swallow your tongue, want some gum??
put down the scissors before you do something dumb
ill be right back just chill baby please
I gotta go find Dave he's the one who gave me these
Jon where's Dave at before I bash you'
'He's in the bathroom. I think he's takin a crap dude'
'Dave, pull up your pants we need an ambulance
there's a girl upstairs talkin to plants
Choppin her hair off And there's only 2 days left of spring break
how long do these things take to wear off?
'Well that depends on how many you had'
'I took 3, she ate the other 22 caps
now she's upstairs crying out her eyeballs, drinkin Lysol'
'She's gonna die dude'
'I know and its my fault!!' (MY GOD!)

I never meant to give you mushrooms girl
I never meant to bring you to my world
but now you're sitting in the corner crying
and now its my fault my fault
I never meant to give you mushrooms girl
I never meant to bring you to my world
but now you're sitting in the corner crying
and now its my fault my fault

WHAT DO I DO?
MY GOD I'm SO SORRY!!
I'm SO SORRY!!
SUSAN PLEASE WAKE UP!!! PLEASE!!!
PLEASE WAKE UP!!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!??!
YOURE NOT DEAD!! YOURE NOT DEAD!!! I KNOW YOURE NOT DEAD!!! WAKE UP!

12: Ken Kaniff

[Ken Kaniff]I'm gonna call this motherfucker.
Oh fuck yeah.
Give him a piece of mind. A piece of my ass.

[Operator]Thank you for waiting. Hello, may I help you.

[Ken Kaniff]Oh thank you. I need to make a collect call.

[Operator]What number?

[Ken Kaniff]Oh the number is **6-2***

[Operator]At the tone, please say your name.

[Ken Kaniff]Kenneth Kaniff, from Connecticut. Automated piece of shit.

[Eminem]Yo.

[Ken Kaniff]Hey there, cock boy.

[Eminem]Who's this?

[Ken Kaniff]This is Ken Kaniff.

[Eminem]Who?

[Ken Kaniff]Ken Kaniff from Connecticut, you little bitch.

[Eminem]From Connecticut? I don't know nobody in Connecticut.

[Ken Kaniff]Yeah, you wanna get a hotel room with me?

[Eminem]A hotel room?

[Ken Kaniff]Yeah, you want me to lick your ass, Eminem?

[Eminem]Yo, who is this, Cage?

[Ken Kaniff]You want me to fuckin melt in your mouth and not in your hand?
Melt in your ass you little cock boy.

[Eminem]Yo, shut up you little bitch.

[Ken Kaniff]Oh, you think I'm lying huh...

[Eminem]Hahahahahaha

13: Cum On Everybody

Yo, mic check
Testing one, two, um... twelve

My favourite color is red, like the blood shed
From Kurt Cobain's head when he shot himself dead
Women all grabbin' at my shishkabob
Bought Lauryn Hill's tape so her kids could starve
You thought I was livid, now I'm even more so
Shit I got full blown AIDS and a sore throat
I got a wardrobe with an orange robe
I'm in the fourth row, signin' autographs until my show
I just remembered that I'm absent minded
Wait, I mean I've lost my mind I can't find it
I freestylin every verse that I spit
Cuz I don't even remember the words to my shit
I told the doc that I need a change in sickness
I gave a girl herpes in exchange for syphillis
Put my LP on your Christmas gift list
You wanna get high, here bitch just sniff this

Cum on everybody, get down tonight

I tried suicide once and I'll try it again
That's why I write songs where I die at the end
Cuz I don't give a fuck, like my middle finger was stuck
And I was waving it at everybody screamin' "I suck"
I go on stage in front of a sellout crowd
And yell out loud "All y'all get the hell out now"
Fuck rap, I'm givin' it up y'all, I'm sorry
But Eminem this is your record release party!
I'm bored out of my gourd
So I took a hammer and nailed my foot the the floorboard of my Ford
I guess I'm just a sick, sick bastard
Just one sandwich short of a picnic basket
One Excederin tablet short of a full medicine cabinet
Feel like my head has been shredded like lettuce and cabbage
And if you ever see a video for this shit
I'll probably be dressed up like a mummy with my wrists slit

Cum on everybody, get down tonight

Got bitches on my jock out in East Detroit
Cuz they think I'm a motherfuckin Beastie Boy
So I told 'em I was Mike D, they was like
gee I don't know, he might be!
I told em meet me at Kid Rock's next concert
I'll be standin by the Loch Ness monster, peace out
Then I jetted to the weed house, smoked out til I started bustin freestyles
Broke out
then I dipped quick, back to the crib, put on lipstick
Crushed up the Tylenol and ate it with a dipstick
Made a couple of prank calls collect
(Ken Kaniff from Connecticut, can you accept?)
I wanna make songs all the fellas dog
And murder every rich rapper that I'm jealous of
So just remember when I bomb your set
Yo, I only cuss to make your mom upset

Cum on everybody get down tonight

14: Rock Bottom

A' yo
This song is dedicated to all the happy people
All the happy people
Who have real nice lives
That have now idea what its like to be broke as fuck

I feel like I'm walking a tight rope without a circus net
I'm popping per cassette I'm a nervous wreck
I deserve respect
But I'm working sweat for this worthless check
'Bout to burst this tech, for somebody to reverse this debt
Minimum wage got my adrenaline caged
Full of venom and rage
Ecspecially when I'm engaged
And my daughter's down to her last diaper
That's got my ass hyper
I pray that god answers, maybe I'll ask nicer
Watching ballers while they crossing and pathfinders
These overnight stars becomin autograph signers
We'll all gone blow up and leave the past behind us
Along with the small fry's and average half pinters
Well player haters turnin bitch like they have vagina's
'Cause we see them dollar signs and let the cash blind us
Money will brainwash and leave your ass mindless
Snakes sliver up the grass spine less

Thats Rock Bottom
When this life makes you mad enough to kill
Thats Rock Bottom
When you want somthing bad enough to steal
Thats Rock Bottom
When you feel like you have had it up to here
'cause you mad enough to scream but you sad enough to tear
Thats Rock Bottom
When this life makes you mad enough to kill
Thats Rock Bottom
When you want somthing bad enough to steal
Thats Rock Bottom
When you feel like you have had it up to here
'cause you mad enough to scream but you sad enough to tear

My life is full of empty promises And broken dreams
I'm hopin' things will look up But there ain't no job openings
I feel discouraged, hungry and malnourished
Liven in this house with no furnice, un-furnished
I'm sick of working dead end jobs with lame pay
Tired of being hired and fired on the same day
But fuck it, you know the rules to the game, play
'Cause when we die we know were all going the same way
It's cool to be player, but it sucks to be the fan
'Cause all you need is bucks to be the man
Plus a luxury Sedan
Too comfortable and roomy in the six
They threw me in the mix
With all these gloomy lunatics
Walkin around depressed
And smoke a pound of sets a day
And yesterday went by so quick it seems like it was just today
My daughter wants to throw the ball but I'm too stressed to play
Live half my life throw the rest away

Thats Rock Bottom
When this life makes you mad enough to kill
Thats Rock Bottom
When you want somthing bad enough to steal
Thats Rock Bottom
When you feel like you have had it up to here
'cause you mad enough to scream but you sad enough to tear
Thats Rock Bottom
When this life makes you mad enough to kill
Thats Rock Bottom
When you want somthing bad enough to steal
Thats Rock Bottom
When you feel like you have had it up to here
'cause you mad enough to scream but you sad enough to tear

There's people that love me and people that hate me
But it's the evil that made me this backstabber MC called Slim Shady
I want the money, the women, the fortune and fame
If it means I end up burning in hell scorching in flames
Means I'm stealing your check book and forging your name
Like times lives for eternal torture and pain
'Cause right now I feel like I just hit the rock bottom
I got problems and now everbody on my block's got 'em
I'm screaming like those two cops when 2pac shot 'em
Holding two glocks, I hope your door got two locks on 'em
My daughters feet ain't got no shoes or socks on 'em
And them rings you wearing look like they got a few rocks on 'em
While you flaunting them I could be taking them to shops to pawn them
I got a couple of rings and a brand new watch you want 'em?
'Cause I ain't never went gold of one song
Im running up on someones lawn with guns drawn

Thats Rock Bottom
When this life makes you mad enough to kill
Thats Rock Bottom
When you want somthing bad enough to steal
Thats Rock Bottom
When you feel like you have had it up to here
'cause you mad enough to scream but you sad enough to tear
Thats Rock Bottom
When this life makes you mad enough to kill
Thats Rock Bottom
When you want somthing bad enough to steal
Thats Rock Bottom
When you feel like you have had it up to here
'cause you mad enough to scream but you sad enough to tear

15: Just Don't Give A Fuck

Woah get your hands in the air
And get to clapping 'em back and forth
because this is what you thought it wasn't
It be the brothers representin the dirty dozen
?
And check out the man he goes by the name of...

...Slim Shady, brain dead like Jim Brady
I'ma M-80 you little like that Kim lady
i'm buzzin dirty dozen naughty rotten rhymer
cursin that you players worse than Marty Shottenheimer
you wacker than the motherfucker you bit your style from
you aint gon sell two copies if you press a double album
admit it fuck it while we comin out in the open
i'm doin acid crack smack coke and smokin dope then
my name is Marshall Mathers i'ma alcoholic (hi Marhsall)
i have a disease and they dont know what to call it
better hide your wallet cuz im comin up quick to strip your cash
bought a ticket to your concert just to come and whip your ass
bitch i'm comin out swingin so fast it'll make your eyes spin
you gettin knocked the fuck out like Mike Tyson
the proof is in the puddin your stats just dont hold me
i slit your motherfuckin throat worse than Ron Goldman

so when you see me on your block wit two glocks screamin "fuck the world" like Tupac
I just dont give a fuck
talkin that shit behind my back dirty mack and tellin your boys that i'm on crack
I just dont give a fuck
so put my tape back on the rack go run and tell your friends my shit is wack
I just dont give a fuck
but see me on the street and duck cuz you gon get stuck stole and snuck
cuz I just dont give a fuck

i'm nicer than Pete but i'm a search to crush a milkbone
i'm everlastin i melt Vanilla Ice like silicon
i'm ill enough to just straight up diss you for no reason
i'm colder than snow season when its twenty below freezin
flavor wit no seasonin this is the sneak preview
i'll diss your magazine and still wont get a weak review
i'll make your freak leave you smell the Folgers crystals
this is lyrical combat gentlemen hold your pistols
but i form like Voltron and blast you wit my sonar missles
Slim Shady, Eminem was the old initials (bye bye)
extortion snortin supportin abortion
pathological liar blowin shit outta proportion
the luniest zaniest spontaneous sporadic
compulsive thinker compulsive drinker addict
half animal half man dumpin your dead body inside of a fuckin trash can
with more holes than an Afghan

so when you see me on your block wit two glocks screamin "fuck the world" like Tupac
I just dont give a fuck
talkin that shit behind my back dirty mack and tellin your boys that i'm on crack
I just dont give a fuck
so put my tape back on the rack go run and tell your friends my shit is wack
I just dont give a fuck
but see me on the street and duck cuz you gon get stuck stole and snuck
cuz I just dont give a fuck

somebody let me out this limosuine i'ma caged demon (hey lemme out)
on stage screamin like Rage Against the Machine
I'm convinced i'ma fiend shootin up while this record is spinnin
clinically brain dead i dont need a second opinion
fuck droppin the jewel i'm flippin the sacred treasure
i bite your motherfuckin style just to make it fresher
i cant take the pressure i'm sick of bitches
sick of naggin bosses bitchin while im washin dishes
in school i never said much too bust havin a head rush
doin too much rush had my face flushed like red blush
then i went to Jim Beam thats when my face strayed
went to gym in eigth grade raped the women's swim team
dont take me for a joke i'm no comedian
too many mental problems got me snortin coke and smokin weed again
i'm goin up over the curve drivin over the median
finally made it home but i dont got the key to get in

so when you see me on your block wit two glocks screamin "fuck the world" like Tupac
I just dont give a fuck
talkin that shit behind my back dirty mack and tellin your boys that i'm on crack
I just dont give a fuck
so put my tape back on the rack go run and tell your friends my shit is wack
I just dont give a fuck
but see me on the street and duck cuz you gon get stuck stole and snuck
cuz I just dont give a fuck

(Ah shit fuck everybody)
Outsidaz... Pacewon... Young Zee...
(fuck the entire world)
D.U...

16: Soap

"Skylar Montgomery?"
"What do you want from me Roger?"
"I know it was you all along messing around with my dear Veronica."
"Wait a minute. You hold it right there. Me and that woman love each other."
"Love? What do you know of love?"
"We were destined to be together. I met her on the beach..."
"Are you out to destroy me?"
"No, Roger. That's not what I want to do. I love her! And we're gonna be together, never."

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Page Updated Sat Aug 5, 2000 11:13am EDT