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Coppertone 2
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| Coppertone 7 |
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June 5, 1984 Dear Cheryl, Please don't rip this up! Sorry to start with a line like that, but I can understand if that's how you feel. I sent this gift to you because I know you are graduating from HS right about now. I'd have sent you this for your birthday, but I forgot when it was. Graduations are more important, I think. They were for me anyway, because I was never too sure I would be in them. Where to begin? Well, I work at an AIDS hospice across the bay in San Francisco. By now you've heard of this disease. It has decimated the male homosexual population out here. I've lost more friends than I dare count- mostly guys I met in art school. You remember how I said I felt I owed the world something? Well, I feel like this is paying off my debt. This disease has the potential to take out the human race. It is a time bomb. Even the most optimistic among us agree with that. I see some pretty awful things in the course of a day, but I don't wonder what to do with my life anymore. I found a place that needs me. Which leads me to this. Cheryl, I am so sorry about what happened. My father had just chewed me out big time about not establishing myself in the community and said some really hurtful things to me that I knew were true. So when I got a call from the superintendent to do sports physicals, I felt I couldn't say no. I didn't think I'd be doing the girl's exams when I agreed. Heidi would have slapped me silly for ever agreeing to that. She demanded female physicians for her girls. And I'd have warned you if I'd known you'd be there. Please forgive me. If you're not sitting down as you read this, I suggest you do. I find it hard to even write about. I was storing Coppertone at a facility in Hayward, a town a few miles south of Oakland. On March 22 the place burned to the ground. Coppertone was destroyed. Some friends came with me to "identify the remains". When a Corvette burns there is nothing recognizable left, as their bodies are fiberglass. I threw up in the alley after I saw her- quite something when you consider the sorts of things I routinely deal with in my job. I had a real hard time with it. Thank God for my friends. Coppertone was a part of the fondest memory I have- that day we spent together almost two years ago. I think that's why I took it so hard. I want you to know, Cheryl, I left Weldham because I don't have a lot of willpower and I had to shut off a few options. I was finding it hard enough to be taken seriously as an adult and a sixteen-year-old girlfriend would not have helped matters and probably would have landed me in jail. So I took it as a sign and went to a place where I knew I was needed. I delivered myself from temptation. I hope you understand what I have managed not to say. Coppertone was insured. I will buy another car with the settlement. There's a black/silver cove '60 Vette a guy in San Jose is selling. It's nice, but I've already owned the coolest Corvette in the world. I might get something different. I looked at a burgundy/white interior 1961 Imperial Crown convertible the other day. It would be like driving my own private parade float, which sounds kind of fun. She's no Coppertone, but she's awfully easy on the eyes and a really nice car. What else? Oh, yeah, I'm engaged. I know you might not be thrilled to hear that, but I hope you're happy for me. Colleen is an actress. She's Irish- auburn-haired and milky-skinned. I was introduced to her after I lost Coppertone (my friends were worried about me, I guess). The funny thing is you have probably seen her (she would kill me if she knew I was telling you this). You know the Preparation H ad where the woman is looking miserable at the stoplight and gets honked at and then at the end of the ad looks happy as hell as she peddles her bicycle past the camera? That's Colleen. She made more money doing that stupid ad than she does in an entire year of stage acting. She practiced her "itchy butt look" for weeks before she shot the ad. And this is somebody that can recite entire Shakespeare plays in Gaelic. Weird world we're living in. We set an August 11 date. You'll be getting an invite. I hope you understand all I have tried to say and not say in this letter. Now, if you don't hate me too much, I have something to ask you. Colleen is always hanging around with these handsome actor types- and they can't all be gay. I would love to have your graduation picture to give her something to get jealous over for a change. And I don't mean a wallet photo, either. I'll gladly pay you for the cost of an 8x10. Well, I'll sign off for now. I hope you let me know what you thought of your gift. It's not much, but I think you'll like it. I had to modify it a bit. I messed up the first one so I kept it and sent you this one. Look for the invite heading your way this summer. I've missed you. Love, Ted http://maxpages.com/coppertone/coppertone_8 |
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