Thing Men Need to Know About Women - Personal - http://maxpages.com/chinaman/Things_to_Know_About

1) Women can tell if a man is the kind of man who likes women.

2) Women like a man who likes women who like to eat.

3) An unsolicited kiss is to a woman as free playoff tickets are to a man.

4) Even better: Flowers on days that aren't Valentine's Day, anniversaries, or birthdays.

5) Speaking of flowers, they are most effective when delivered to her workplace.

6) Getting back to kissing: more lip.

7) Less tongue.

8) As a rule, even if she wears a thong the first time you see her unclothed, she prefers white cotton panties.

9) Never let her arrive at an event alone.

10) Sometimes women want it when you don't, and for you not to give in on such occasions sets a terrible precedent.

11) When asked if she looks fat, even if it's the one thousandth time, you must be always at the ready with an immediate, confident "Suu-eeee!"

12) That was a joke.

13) Not a joke, and a phrase you should commit to memory: "Of course you don't look fat."

14) No, you were no looking at that other woman.

15) First-date don'ts: overdress, underdress, show up too early, show up too late, or talk too much about yourself.

16) Relationship helper.
Please complete:
anniversary date:__________;
birthday:__________;
dress size:__________:
shoe size__________;
bra size:__________.

17) Don't insult her friends, even if she does.

18) More or less, women want you to make them laugh.

19) Women are less excited about receiving gifts of lingerie than you are about giving them.

20) No matter how furtive or quick the glance, a woman always knows when you're looking at her breasts.

21) Second-date don'ts: See first-date don'ts, plus don't presume that you're now entitled to sex.

22) Women want you to pay for dinner.

23) It's pointless to argue with her if you're not going to win.

24) You're not going to win.

25) Women have to pay more for their haircuts, dry cleaning, and shoes, and this upsets them.

26) Women have to buy new outfits every season, and this makes them happy.

27) The quirky perfect gift that shows you've been listening is worth twice the value of anything you can find at Tiffany's.

28) Of course, it doesn't hurt if the quirky perfect gift happens to be from Tiffany's.

29) Gifts that may be quirky but never perfect: a blender, a beater, a vacuum cleaner, or a waffle iron.

30) Never ask a woman why she's mad at you, as she will only get madder at your not knowing.

31) One follow-up to an unreturned phone call is acceptable; two is stalking.

32) Women do not desire to be introduced to a new brand of perfume.

33) Women do not wish to be trifled with should they, on occasion, order dessert.

34) Don't kiss and tell, even if you're really proud of yourself.

35) Showering a woman with gifts after the first date is the romantic equilvalent of a comb-over.

36) Women who come from big families are more fun.

37) Women who have two or more brothers are less likely to be disgusted by you.

38) Women, despite all your years of trying to understand them, will always remain a mystery.

ItsOnlyJT@aol.com

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Page Updated Thu Jan 17, 2008 12:43am EST