blonde jokes - Game Codes - http://maxpages.com/cheatsnkodes/Blonde

BLOND JOKES

1) How did the blonde explain how his helicopter crashed?

He said it was getting cold, so he turned off the ceiling fan.

2) Why did the blonde quit his job as a restroom attendant?

He couldn't figure out how to refill the hand dryer.

3) What do you call blonde twins doing bubble gum commercials?

Double-dumb.

4) How can you tell if a blonde has been using your lawnmower?

The green WELCOME mat is ripped all to shreds.

5) Three blondes are sitting on a park bench eating ice cream cones. One is

sucking hers, one is biting hers, one is licking hers. Which one is married?

The one with the wedding ring, YOU SICK-O!

6) What's the advantage of being married to a blonde?

You can park in handicapped zones.

7) What happened to the blonde tap dancer?

She slipped off and fell down the drain.

8) How can you tell which tricycle belongs to the blonde?

It is the one with the kickstand.

9) What do you call an all-blonde skydiving team?

A new version of the Lawn Darts game.

10) Where do you look for blondes' obituaries?

Under "Home Improvements."

11) Why did the blonde take his new scarf back to the store?

It was too tight

12) Why did it take the blonde a whole week to wash three basement windows?

It took him six days just to dig the holes to put the ladder in.

13) Did you hear about the blonde who gave his cat a bath?

He still hasn't gotten all the hair off his tongue.

14) How does a psychic refer to a blonde?

Light reading.

15) Did you hear about the blonde who thought he discovered that

he had a twin brother?

He didn't realize he was looking in a mirror.

16) There were two blondes walking down the street and they spotted a compact.

They rushed over to see who it belonged to so they could return it. The

first one opens it and says, "This person looks familiar" The second one

says, "Let me see." She looks at her friend and says, "Silly, that's me!"

17) Did you hear about the blonde who never learned to waterski?

He couldn't find a lake with a slope.

18) What do you call a blonde in a leather jacket?

A rebel without a clue!

19) Why did the blonde only smell good on the right side?

He didn't know where to buy Left Guard!

20) Why couldn't the blonde bob for apples?

His sister was using the toilet.

21) A blonde is going to London on a plane; how can you steal his

window seat?

Tell him all seats going to London are in the middle row.

22) How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday?

Tell him a joke on Wednesday.

23) Me: Hey, Donna, how do you make a blonde laugh twice in a row?

Donna: I dunno. How?

Me: Tell her the same dumb blonde joke twice in a row.

Me: Hey Donna, how do you make a blonde laugh twice in a row?

24) Why did the blonde put her finger over the nail she was hammering?

The noise gave her a headache.

25) Why don't blondes have elevator jobs?

They don't know the route.

26) What did the blonde do when he noticed that someone had already

written on the overhead transparency?

He turned it over and used the other side.

27) Did you hear about the blonde who just bought an A.M. radio?

It took him two weeks to figure out that you could play it at night

28) Did you hear about the blonde who couldn't wait to see 20,000

leagues under the sea?

He said that he loved baseball, and was surprised that there

were so many teams.

29) Why did the blonde stand in front of a mirror with his eyes closed?

He wanted to see what he looked like asleep.

30) How many blondes does it take to make a circuit?

Two: one to stand in the bathtub, and another to pass him the

blow dryer!

31) A blonde, brunette, and redhead are in kindergarten; which

one is the sexiest?

The blonde, because she is the only one that's 18.

32) A dumb blonde was bragging about his knowledge of the state capitals.

He proudly said,"go ahead, ask me, I know all of them."

A redhead said, "O.K., what's the capital of Wisconsin?"

The blonde replied, "Oh, that's easy - 'W'."

33) Why did they stop doing the 'wave' at BYU?

Too many blondes were drowning.

34) How do you drown a blonde?

Put a mirror at the bottom of the pool.

Or: Leave a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of the pool.

35) How do you drown a blonde?

When he asks for a lifesaver, ask him what flavor he wants.

36) What happened to the blonde ice hockey team?

They drowned in Spring training.

37) Where do blondes go to meet their relatives?

The vegetable garden.

38) Why do blondes wash their hair in the sink?

That's where you're supposed to wash vegetables!

39) Did you hear about the blonde couple that were found frozen to

death in their car at a drive-in movie theater?

They went to see "Closed for the Winter".

40) How do you recognize a blonde at a car wash?

He's the one on his bike.

41) What do you call four blondes in a Volkswagon?

Far-from-thinkin'.

42) Why is it good to have a blonde passenger?

You can park in the handicap zone.

43) Did you hear about the blonde that almost caused a car accident?

The spare tire in his trunk blew out.

44) How does the blonde car pool work?

They all meet at work at 7:45.

45) Why do blondes drive BMWs?

Because they can spell it.

46) What did the blonde do when he heard that 90% of accidents

occur within five miles of home?

He moved ten miles away.

47) Why did the blonde keep a coat hanger in her back seat?

In case she locks the keys in her car.

48) Why did the blonde have tire tread marks on his back?

From crawling across the street when the sign said "DON'T WALK".

49) Why did the blonde cross the road?

I don't know.

Neither did he.

50) What goes "Vroom...screech...vroom...screech...vroom...screech?"

A blonde at a flashing red light.

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Page Updated Wed Jun 14, 2000 8:28pm EDT