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| F U N N Y T E S T A N S W E R S KINDA DUMB The following are questions and answers from the pupils of Brentwood County High School, where I teach science. They reveal a wide variety of common errors from the funny guess to the complete misunderstanding of the subject. If anyone has any more then we do collect them. We do have a copy of "The World According to Student Bloopers", so please don't send that. [besides, it's copyright! --Moderator] Enjoy. Q: Name a pollutant and its source: A: Weels from a motorway. Q: Is crude oil pure or a mixture? A: Pure, because its on its own. A: Pure, because it is nateral. Q: Why will this nail rust? A: If air get to a nail it will go rusty because air is really water. A: If drying agent fell from the sky it would crush your car, not rust it!!!! Q: What is meant by "endangered species"? A: It is soon to be killed off. A: It means that it is dangerous. Q: When the [cooling] experiment was repeated with thicker glass flasks, cooling took longer. Why? A: Because the heat had to conduct itself through a much thicker distance, which took a lot longer. Q: Where do you find the colours of a spectrum? A: In a Rambow. Q: [On digestion] What is the reaction between acids and antacids called? A: Relief Q: Why does it take longer to cook a potato on top of a mountain? A: Because the potato is at least 1000 feet above the ground. A: It takes longer because of convection. It has to rise all the way up, and this takes some time. Q: What is the unit of resistance? A: Homes (H). Q: The journey from Preston to Carlisle to Preston always takes longer than the journey from Preston to Carlisle. Suggest why this is so. A: The train driver would be tired. Q: Explain the conservation of momentum, and how it applies to a space rocket. A: The conservation of momentum means the conservation of force at which the rocket is propelled into the atmosphere. This is important to consider when considering rocket propulsion and collision (!) as too much momentum could result quite seriously. Q: [On crude oil] What non-energy uses are there for oil? A: Cooking. Q: Describe the function of the cell membrane. A: It keeps the cell warm. Q: How is eye colour etc. passed on to the next generation? A: The jeans (not Levis). Q: Describe how the egg cell is specialised. A: The egg is round so it is easier to get down the tube, because if it was square there would be a problem. Q: What should medical workers wear when dealing with accidents involving large amounts of blood? A: The should wear gloves and a suit. Q: A car is able to move, and can perform 3 life processes. What are they? A: Speak (hooter). A: Reproduce. A: Gets old. A: Turn. Q: There are three life processes that a car cannot carry out, so it cannot be a living thing. Which processes does a car not carry out? A: Wink A: Sleep. A: Jump in the air. Q: [On periscopes] How do the two mirrors make it work? A: The objects goes into the top mirror. It then gets reflected into the second one A: Your eyes hit the mirror. Q: [On a valley flooded by a dam] Give two problems that the rabbits might have after they have moved. A: They might not be able to get a good water supply, or an open space for them to play. Q: Describe changes in the weather which could lead to a decrease in evaporation from oceans. A: There could be a drought, so there wouldn't be any water in the oceans to evaporate. Q: What liquid goes round the body? A: Liquid nitrogen. A: Sodium hydrogen carbonate. Q: Why can camels walk on sand better than horses? A: Because camels have flat, webbed feet. [An answer given by a year 11 top set pupil in a mock-GCSE question on radiation] The grill radiates food by heating and killing off or decaying the molecules in the food. Q: From a given list of ingredients [for a fizzy drink], give an example of ingredients that are normally solid, liquid and gas. A: Solid - Cheese Liquid - Milk Gas - Air. Heres some random jokes Q. What do you call a virgin on a waterbed.????? A. A cherry float. Q. What did the sign on the door of the whorehouse say? A. Beat IT - we're closed. Q. Why do walruses go to Tupperware parties? A. To find a tight seal. Q. What do you do with 365 used rubbers? A. Melt them down, make a tire, and call it a Goodyear. Q. What's the difference between sin and shame? A. It is a sin to put it in, but it's a shame to pull it out. Q. What's the speed limit of sex? A. 68; at 69 you have to turn around. Q. What's the ultimate rejection? A. When you're masturbating and your hand falls asleep. Q. Why is air a lot like sex? A. Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any. Q. What's another name for pickled bread? A. Dill-dough Q. Why did Frosty the Snowman pull down his pants? A. He heard the snow blower coming. Q: Why are Monica Lewinsky's cheeks so puffy? A: She's withholding evidence Q. What's the difference between light and hard? A. You can sleep with a light on. Q. Why is sex like a bridge game? A. You don't need a partner if you have a good hand. Q. What do a Christmas tree and a priest have in common? A. Their balls are just for decoration. Q. Why don't blind people like to sky dive? A. Because it scares the hell out of the seeing dog. Q. What's the difference between a lawyer and God? A. God doesn't think he's a lawyer. Q. Why is divorce so expensive? A. Because it's worth it |
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