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Now its time for the really big show(Ed Sulavan) You know what I like about you? My arms This shirt is very becoming on you...of course if I were on you I'd be comeing to! If I gave you a sexy negligee, would there be anything in it for me? (Female at the copy machine) Reproducing again? Mind if I help? Do you have any Italian in you? Do you want some? I love every bone in your body, especially mine! Hey, here's the word of the day: Legs. Lets go to my place and spread the word. You know you have the prettiest teeth I have ever dreamed of cumming across Have you ever kissed a rabbit between the ears? (Pull your pants pockets out) Do you want to Hey baby, wanna play carnival? That's where you sit on my face and I try to guess your age and weight. If it's true that we are what we eat then I could be you by morning Hey baby, wanna play lion? Then go kneel down over there and I'll throw you my meat! (Grab her butt) Pardon me, is this seat taken? You know what would look good on you is me! (Tapping you leg) You just think this is my leg That's a nice shirt, could I talk you out of it? Miss if you've lost your virginity could I have the box it came in? Hey baby, wanna lock crotches and swap gravy? Hey baby, can I tickle your belly button from the inside? Go up to a girl and tell her she has nice legs...then ask if you can name them. She says OK, and you say, OK this one is thanksgiving and this one is christmas....would you mind if I visited between the holidays? Want to come see my hard drive? I promise it ain't 3.5 inches and it ain't floppy! Do you wash your panties in Windex, cause I keep seeing myself in them? I'll bet you ten bucks that I can get all of your clothes off in 30 seconds You see my friend over there? He wants to know if YOU think that I'M cute Motion with your finger for a girl to come over to you. When she arrives say, I just made you come with one finger, imagine what I could do with two! I like your butt, could I wear it as a hat? Go up to a girl, ask her; "Do you know what winks and screws like a tiger?" She say's no. Then wink There are over 256 bones in the human body, how would you like one more? She: I can't wait to get home and jump into bed. You: Do you need someone to break your fall Excuse me, do you work for Federal Express? I couldn't help but notice you checking out my package Nice legs.......what time do they open? hey baby, I'm a musician....wanna come over and see my organ? Pardon me, is there a mirror in your pocket cause I keep seeing myself in your pants. Hey baby, sit on my lap and we'll talk about the first thing that comes up! My face is leaving it ten minutes, are you going to be on it? Do you sleep on your front? Do you mind if I do? Do you know the essential difference between conversation and sex? No huh... do you want to go upstairs and talk? Since we shouldn't be wasteful in this day and age what do ya say we use these condoms in my pocket before they expire My name is _______. That's so you'll know what to scream I'm no Fred Flinstone, but I can make your bed rock Do you like jewelry? Well suck on this, it's a gem! Sex is a killer.....wanna die happy? Is it that cold out or are you just snuggling tic-tacs? Pass out a card that says: "Smile if you want to fuck me like an animal!" and watch them try to hold back there smile Man beackons women with finger. Women approaches man. Man says, do you always come when someone fingers you? 10 Psycho Pick-Up Lines -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Didn't I see you on the grassy knoll? Can I buy you a spatula? Bet you're wondering why I have no nostrils. Your crawlspace or mine? You look like the kind of person who appreciates catheters. May I lick your forehead? Do you always wear your shoes over your socks? Smeep. Smeep. Smeep. What's your favorite flavor of wood? You've stolen my heart, but I have three more back home in the freezer. |
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