Jokes - Check out my newest photos ! They're hilarious ! - Personal Homepages

Yo Momma Jokes

Yo Momma is so :

SO HAIRY

Yo momma so hairy you almost died of rugburn at birth!
Yo momma so hairy she's got afros on her nipples!
Yo momma so hairy she look like she got Buckwheat in a headlock.
Yo momma so hairy Bigfoot is taking her picture!
Yo momma so hairy she wears a Nike tag on her weave so now everybody calls her Hair Jordan.

Yo Mama's so Fat...

Yo mama's so fat, when I yell "Kool-Aid," she comes crashing through the wall.
Yo mama's so fat, she could sell shade.
Yo mama's so fat, at the zoo, the elephants started throwing her peanuts.
Yo mama's so fat, when your father mounts her, his ears pop.
Yo mama's so fat, she wakes up in sections.
Yo mama's so fat, her blood type is Ragu.
Yo mama's so fat, when she bends over we go into daylight savings time.
Yo mama's so fat, when she turns around, people throw her a welcome back party.
Yo mama's so fat, she can't even jump to a conclusion.
Yo mama's so fat, her nickname is "Damn."
Yo mama's so fat, the back of her neck looks like a pack of hot-dogs.
Yo mama's so fat, your daddy had to roll her in flower and look for the wet spot.
Yo mama's so fat, she DJ's for the ice cream truck.
Yo mama's so fat, she stepped on a talking scale and it told her to "Get the fuck off."
Yo mama's so fat, she stepped on a talking scale and it said "Please step out of the car."
Yo mama's so fat, no one can talk behind her back.
Yo mama's so fat, she was floating in the ocean and Spain claimed her as a new world.
Yo mama's so fat, she can't wear Dazzey Dukes. She has to wear Boss Hoggs.
Yo mama's so fat, she eats biscuits like tic tacs.
Yo mama's so fat, she fell in love and broke it.
Yo mama's so fat, she gets clothes in three sizes: extra large, jumbo, and oh-my-god-it's-coming-towards-us!
Yo mama's so fat, she influences the tides.
Yo mama's so fat, she eats pumpkin pies like Skittles.
Yo mama's so fat, the shadow of her ass weighs 50 pounds.
Yo mama's so fat, she jumped up in the air and got stuck.
Yo mama's so fat, she measures 36 24 36, and the other arm is just as big.
Yo mama's so fat, she puts on her lipstick with a paint-roller.
Yo mama's so fat, she tried to get an all-over tan, and the sun burned out.
Yo mama's so fat, she uses hula hoops to hold up her socks.
Yo mama's so fat, she uses a mattress for a maxi-pad.
Yo mama's so fat, she went to a Chinese Restaurant and ordered a 40oz. of gravy.
Yo mama's so fat, she's on both sides of the family.
Yo mama's so fat, she sat on an Oreo and unlocked the magic.
Yo mama's so fat, when I have sex with her I have to slap her ass and ride the wave in.
Yo mama's so fat, when she backs up she beeps.
Yo mama's so fat, you could go swimming in her bra.
Yo mama's so fat, she uses the carpet as a blanket.
Yo mama's so fat, when she wears a red dress people yell "Hey Kool-Aid Man."
Yo mama's so fat, when she sat on a rainbow, Skittle's fell out.
Yo mama's so fat, her belly button's got an echo.
Yo mama's so fat, she rollerskates on busses.
Yo mama's so fat and old, when God said "Let there be Light" he told her to move her fat ass out of the way.
Yo mama's so fat, she eats wheat thicks.
Yo mama's so fat, after she has sex she smokes a ham.
Yo mama's so fat, she needs a bookmark to find her necklace.
Yo mama's so fat, when she wears a red turtleneck she looks like a busted condom.
Yo mama's so fat, she uses bacon for band-aids.
Yo mama's so fat, she's jealous of the wall.

Yo Mama's so Ugly...

Yo mama's so ugly, well.. look at you!
Yo mama's so ugly, when she looks in the mirror, the reflection ducks.
Yo mama's so ugly, she hurt my feelings.
Yo mama's so ugly, I can fuck her in any position and its still doggy style.
Yo mama's so ugly, I have to watch your sister undress just to calm down.
Yo mama's so ugly, she has to trick or treat over the phone.
Yo mama's so ugly, when she was born the doctor smacked everyone.
Yo mama's so ugly, the doctor is still smacking her ass.
Yo mama's so ugly, they filmed "Gorillas in the Mist" in her shower.

Yo Mama's so Stupid...

Yo mama's so stupid, she got stabbed in a shoot-out.
Yo moma's so stupid, she told me to meet her at the corner of "Walk" and "Don't Walk."
Yo mama's so stupid, she thinks fruit punch is a gay boxer.
Yo mama's so stupid, her breasts are square cuz she forgot to take the Kleenex out of the box.
Yo mama's so stupid, she took you to the airport and a sign said "Airport Left" she turned around and went home.
Yo mama's so stupid, you can tell when she's used the computer because there's White Out all over the screen.
Yo mama's so stupid, she got a part time job painting skittles.
Yo mama's so stupid, she stands up on an empty bus.
Yo mama's so stupid, she thought she needed a token to get on soul train.
Yo mama's so stupid, she sold the car for gas money.
Yo mama's so stupid, she gave your uncle a blowjob 'cause he said it'd help his unemployment.
Yo mama's so stupid, she got fired from a blow-job.
Yo mama's so stupid, I taught her how to do the running man and I haven't seen the bitch since.
Yo mama's so stupid, she thinks a san itary belt is drinking a shot out of a clean glass.
Yo mama's so stupid, she thinks a 17 inch Admiral is a well hung sailor.
Yo mama's so stupid, she went to Dr. Dre for a pap smear.
Yo mama's so stupid, she looked at a box of Cheerios and said "Oh look, donut seeds!"

Yo Mama's so...
Yo mama's so old, she's got hieroglyphics on her driver's license.
Yo mama's so old, she has a Jesus Starter jacket.
Yo mama's so old and fat that when God said "Let there be Light", he told her to move her fat ass out of the way.
Yo mama's got a wooden leg with branches.
Yo mama's got an afro with a chin strap!
Yo mama's got hair on her tongue and she gargles with curl activator.
Yo mama's got snakeskin teeth.
Yo mama's got ingrown nipples.
Yo mama has one arm and swims in circles.
Yo mama's has wooden tits and breast feeds beavers.
Yo mama's teeth are so yellow, she spits butter.
Yo mama's like a squirrel, she's always got some nuts in her mouth.
Yo mama's like 7-Eleven... open all night, hot to go, and for 89 cents you can get a slurpy.
Yo mama's like a carpenter's dream, flat as a board and easy to nail.
Yo mama's like a brick, dirty, flat on both sides, and always getting laid by Mexicans.(sorry if that offend some Mexicans!!!)
Yo mama's like a shotgun, one cock and she blows.
Yo mama's breath is so stank, when she exhales her teeth have to duck.
Yo mama's gums are so black, she spits Yoo Hoo.
Yo mama's tits are so small, she had to tatoo "front" on her chest.
Yo mama's so greasy, she sweats Crisco.
Yo mama's so hairy, she has afros on her nipples.
Yo mama's so nice she'd give me the hair off her back.
Yo mama's so skanky, she stuck in a cucumber and pulled out a pickle.
Yo mama's so poor, she goes to Kentucky Fried Chicken to lick other people's fingers.
Yo mama's so short, she has to cuff her underwear.
Yo mama's so short, she poses for trophies.
Yo mama's middle name is Rambo.
Yo mama's twice the man you are.
Yo mama's been on welfare so long, they gave her a trophy.
Yo mama's such an alcoholic, when she went to college she majored in "Olde English room 800".
Yo mama's been on welfare so long, they put her face on a food stamp.
Yo mama's so black, I looked at her and thought I was asleep.
Yo mama's so black, when the cops shot at her last night, the bullets had to come back to ask for directions.
Yo mama's like a screen door, the harder you slam the looser she gets.
Yo mama's like a casino, liquor in the front, poker in the back.
Yo mama's like a bowling ball, she gets fingered, thrown in the gutter, and comes back for more.
Yo mama's like a Coke, 50 cents and you get the real thing.
Yo mama's so black, she puts fingerprints on charcoal.
Yo mama's like the wind, always b

Blonde Jokes

JOKES

Q: How do blonde braincells die ? A: Alone.
Q: How do you brainwash a blonde?
A: Give her a douche and shake her upside down.
Q: How do you change a blonde's mind? A1: Blow in her ear.
A2: Buy her another beer.
Q: How do you measure a blonde's intelligence?
A: Stick a tire pressure gauge in her ear!
Q: How do you get a blonde pregnant?
A: Come in her shoes and let the flies do the rest.

More jokes to come very soon. So come back to check and laugh at hte new ones !!!

A blonde decides to try horseback riding, even though she has no lessons or prior experience. She mounts the horse, unassisted and the horse immediately springs into motion. It gallops at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle. In terror, she grabs for the horse's mane, but cannot seem to get a firm grip. She tries to throw her arms around the horse's neck, but she slides down the side of the horse anyway. The horse gallops along, seemingly impervious to its slipping rider. Finally, giving up her frail grip, the blonde leaps away from the horse to try and throw herself to safety. Unfortunately, her foot has become entangled in the stirrup, she is now at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground... over and over. As her head is battered against the ground, she is moments away from unconsciousness when to her great fortune... the Walmart manager sees her and shuts the horse off.

Links

http://www.cameronlaw.com/jokes/
http://www.angelfire.com/al/lawdogg/blonde.html
http://www.handilinks.com/cat1/b/35281.htm
http://www.cybercheeze.com/archiv

***Photos***

That's right, save the whales !!!