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Chapter 6

“Mom, I know.” Bonnie impatiently said into the receiver. “I’ll be out soon, I just needed a place to stay until I can find my own place.”

“Ok, but remember, 3 weeks. Then I promised the summerhouse to some friends. Why don’t you come to L.A. and visit us. We haven’t seen you for awhile.” Her mother told her.

Nick will find me there. Bonnie wanted to say. “Um…maybe.” She said shortly into the phone. “I just…I wanna be a lone for awhile.”

“Hon,” her mom started. “I know it’s hard right now. But Nick will come to his senses and realize he just left the best girl in the world.” Bonnie had told her mom that Nick was the one who left her. She didn’t want to face anyone right now about what she had done.

“Right. Mom, I gotta go. I’ll call you when I find a place. K?”

“Damn.” She whispered as their lips parted. “I guess I better go get the baby.” She said and stood up quickly. She felt a warm hand on her arm.

“No baby, let me.” He said and kissed her lightly on the forehead. She watched him walk into the nursery. “Come here sweetheart.” He said as he lifted the crying baby out of the crib. “Daddy’s here, no more tears.” He rocked his baby back and forth in his arms. A small smile appeared on her face as she watched him from the door. “Want daddy to sing?” he said and smiled. “I’ve got sunshine, on a cloudy day. When it’s cold outside, I’ve got the month of May.” Her eyes filled with tears as he sang. “I guess you say, what can make me feel this way?” She walked quietly in and wrapped her arms around his waist and he stopped. “Hey, can’t you see I’m trying to sing here?” he asked playfully and kissed her softly.

“Don’t let me stop you.” She whispered in his ear and rested her head on his shoulder looking down at her baby.

“My girl (my girl) talkin’ ‘bout my girl.” He stopped as he realized the little girl was fast asleep in his arms. He gently placed his daughter back in her crib and turned to face Bonnie. “C’mon,” he whispered grabbing Bonnie’s hand, slowly leading her out of the nursery. “We don’t wanna wake her.”

Nick and Bonnie walked in silence back to their room and laid down in bed. Bonnie slowly drifted off into a peaceful sleep.

She awoke hours later to find Nick gone. She raced into the nursery and looked into the empty crib. “No!” she screamed. “Where are you?” she said and started to sob. Just then, everything turned black. She could hear her daughter screaming and she was racing around in the darkness toward her baby’s cry. “I’m coming!” she choked out between sobs. It seemed that she’d been running in circles for hours Her daughters’ shrill screams ringing in her ears. Suddenly, the crying stopped and she saw light coming from somewhere. She stiffed her sobs and walked cautiously towards the light, finding a door. She opened it and peered inside to find Nick laughing hysterically with his daughter. “N...Nick?” she asked as tears streamed down her face. She grinned and ran over to where he stood. Sobbing, she reached out her arms to embrace them, and they vanished. “No!” she screamed and collapsed.

Bonnie awoke from her dream sobbing. She sat straight up in bed and hugged her knees to her chest and cried silently. She started to shake uncontrollably so she got up and made her way downstairs to call Debbie. The phone rang and rang. Frustration hit Bonnie like it never had before and she threw the phone across the room when there was no answer on Debbie’s part. She slowly slid down onto the floor and cried.

“Well guys,” Kevin started as they neared the airport. “Great promo tour.” He said and smiled.

“Yeah.” They all said in unison. The van stopped and the guys and their body guards stepped out. Nick and Abby walked silently hand in hand.

“Guys.” Nick said. “I’ll be there in a sec. I’m gonna go see Abby off.” They got to Abby’s gate. “Well, um…I guess this is it.” Nick said.

“Yeah.”

“You have my number and stuff and I’ve got yours. You live in Ft. Lauderdale right?”

“Uh huh.”

“Great, not too far. We’ll have to hang out.” He said and kissed her cheek.

“Nick?”

“hmm?”

“Thanks.”

“For what?”

“Ya know, taking me out, helping me pack.” She said and looked down at her feet, obviously blushing.

“Oh…well, it was my pleasure.” He said smiling and took one of her hands in both of his.

“We are now boarding flight 983 to Ft. Lauderdale.” Said the flight attendant over the intercom.

“Nicky I—“

“What did you just call me?”

“Nicky? Do you not like it?”

“Oh no, it’s fine.” He said and wrapped his arms around her waist pulling her close. “Abby?”

“What?” she whispered closing her eyes and tilting her head towards Nicks. Their lips touched softly and soon they were kissing like they’d never see each other again. “Nick.” She said when they parted. “I have to go.”

“I know. I’ll call you the minute I get home. Bye” He said as he kissed her softly on the forehead. She slowly turned around and headed for her gate. She turned around to blow a quick kiss in Nick’s direction. Nick just smiled and headed to meet up with the guys.

“Bye Shelly.” AJ smiled as Debbie wrapped her arm around AJ’s waist. “Can’t wait until we—“

“AJ?” Debbie interrupted. “Know what I wanna do when we get home?” she asked with a sly grin.

“How do you put up with her AJ?” Shelly laughed. “Anyways, bye little sis!” she said and reached out to hug Debbie, but Debbie backed away.

“You’re my step-sister Shell!” she said, mocking Shelly and rolling her eyes. “Catch ya later. C’mon AJ, we have a plane to catch.” They ran playfully towards their gate. “AJ! Stop!” Debbie yelled as AJ grabbed her from behind and lifted her up, throwing her over his shoulder. “Ya know what AJ? I could get used to this view.” She giggled and slapped his butt.

“You think they’ll ever grow up?” laughed Brian.

“Brian, why don’t we have that much fun anymore?” joked Lacey.

“Because baby,” he said and pointed at the baby he was holding. “This got in the way.” He said and kissed his baby girl on the top of her head. Lacey slapped him playfully on the arm.

“I thought you wanted kids Littrell.” She said and giggled. “Um…do you think we should grab those 2 and say bye to them? Do you think they’d even care?” she asked looking at Debbie and AJ who were singing to each other very loudly.

“Uncle AJ!” Brian yelled. “Maddy wants to say bye before we head back to Kentucky!”

AJ and Debbie came running over laughing uncontrollably. “Bye bye Maddy!! We’ll see you 3 weeks!” AJ said to the baby girl.

“Actually, no you won’t” Lacey corrected. “We’re not gonna join the tour until it’s almost over. Madison needs some time at home.” She said taking the baby into her arms. “Besides, I’m tired too.”

“Understandable.” Said Debbie hugging Brian and then Lacey. “Bye Maddy!” Quickly Debbie and AJ ran off together screaming at one another.

“Where’s Nick?” Kevin asked Brian. “You’d think he’d wanna say bye to you guys.”

“Yeah, he should be here any minute. I’m sure of it.” He said standing on his tip-toes to look out over the crowd. “I think I see him! Yeah, he’s coming.”

“Nick!” Kevin yelled waving his arms so Nick would see him. Nick quickly ran over, a huge smile on his face.

“Um…anyone want to explain to me why Debbie and AJ are splashing each other with water from the drinking fountain?” Nick said and laughed.

“Eh…they’re doin’ what?” Kevin asked. “Well, you know how they get sometimes. Nick, we’re about to board the plane, we just wanted to say goodbye. See you in 3 weeks.” Kevin smiled.

“I’ll be there.” Nick said cheerfully. He made his way over to where Brian and Lacey were standing with a crying baby. “Here,” he said motioning for them to hand him the baby. “C’mon Maddy, be a good girl for your mommy and daddy on the big airplane back to Kentucky. Because if you don’t, I might stop singing to you!” he said and hugged the baby, Madison stopped crying and Nick handed her back to Brian. “Well, bye guys!” he said and hugged them.

“Bye Nick.” Brian, Lacey, and Kevin said as they boarded their plane.

“Yo Nickay!” AJ said and ran up beside him. “Ready to go home?”

“Hell yeah, I’m tired. I can’t wait until I can fall into bed and sleep. Aw, in my own bed.” Nick said smiling.

“Wait!” said Debbie smiling. “I believe our Nicky is smiling!” she joked.

“Yeah yeah, very funny Deb.” He said and playfully punched her in the stomach.

“AJ! Can you believe him?! Do something! Save me!”

AJ and Nick both cracked up at Debbie and she slapped them both on the arm. “Our plane is boarding now, I suggest we get a move on boys.” She said and walked ahead of them onto the plane. “Next stop…AJ’s house!” she giggled.

Chapter 7

Tell me again why we stayed in New York?” Howie asked Lydia as she was getting ready.

“Because, I like New York.” She said casually. “Besides, you know your way around, so you can take me sightseeing.”

“Sightseeing huh?” he laughed and grabbed Lydia’s waist pulling her down on the bed beside him.

“Howard!! Just what in the hell do you think you’re doing?!” she teased playfully. “Let go of me!” she shrieked.

“Wouldn’t you much rather stay in the hotel room??” he asked pouting.

“Hotel room?! What’s there to do in a hotel room?” she said, finally breaking out of his grip. “You’re not that good Howard.” She teased and ran into the bathroom to finish getting ready. “Get your ass out of bed so you can take me where I wanna go!” Reluctantly he crawled out of bed to get ready. With a loud groan he greeted Lydia in the bathroom.

3 weeks ago...

“Nick?” AJ called as he knocked loudly on the door. “Bro, where are ya? We’re late!” The door slowly opened and Nick came out, his eyes red and puffy from crying. AJ looked at Nick confused as Nick locked the door to his hotel room. “Nick?”

“What?” Nick asked angrily.

“Are you forgetting something?”

“Huh?”

“Ya know, a pretty girl, long brown hair, tall, usually attached to your hip?”

“She left.” Nick said and started down the long hallway. He looked into the distance as he felt his eyes stinging with tears again. He couldn’t cry, not in front of AJ, he told himself. AJ followed him like a ghost, not making any noise. “Where are we headed?” he asked casually, stuffing his hands deep inside his pockets.

“LA.” AJ quickly informed him. “Nick, I don’t mean to pry, but what’s going on with you?” he asked, jogging to catch up with Nick.

“Nothing. I’m just tired.”

“Did you and Bonnie have a fight?”

“Nope.”

“Then where is she? She was in your room last night, and now she’s gone.”

“Here.” Nick said shoving the note into AJ’s chest. “That should answer your question.” He said irritably, stepping on the elevator. The doors closed as AJ stood on the other side bewildered at Nick’s actions. He made no attempt to join Nick on the elevator. Nick reached the bottom faster than he wanted to. He didn’t know what to tell everyone about what happened. He stopped as he saw Lydia and Debbie in a hushed conversation. He knew they knew something, but he didn’t feel like getting answers at the moment. He wanted to get on the bus and sleep, in his own bunk, his own space, and his own sorrow.

“Nick!” yelled someone in a harsh tone, snapping Nick out of his dazed stare. “Get on the bus!” yelled Billy, his bodyguard. “I don’t get paid to watch you zone out while there are fans around, get a move on!”

Present...

“Can I look at the condo for a sec?” she asked as the realtor left her alone in the front room of the condo that Bonnie was looking at. “So, what do ya think baby?” she asked rubbing her stomach. “Is this ok?” she said and frowned remembering the beach house she and Nick had shared together. She leaned against the wall closing her eyes to stop the tears that were threatening to fall. “Why am I doing this to myself?” she asked as the realtor walked back into the room causing Bonnie to jump.

“So, what are your thoughts?” she asked cheerfully.

Bonnie rubbed her temples tiredly and sighed. “I’ll take it.” She said, unenthused. She followed the young woman to the kitchen table to sign the necessary papers.

“It’s yours.” The woman said as they made their way to the front of the house. “You can move in whenever you’d like.” She said and smiled before leaving Bonnie alone. Bonnie walked slowly around the condo, trying to make it seem like home, but she knew without Nick there, nothing would seem like home.

at+Nick’s+beach+house

Nick searched franticly for his cell phone. Throwing his mess into another part of the room he finally found it. “Hello?” he said breathlessly.

“Hey man, it’s J.”

“Oh, hi.” Nick said unsuccessfully hiding his disappointment. “What’s up?”

“Well, I…we, Howie and I have something to tell you.”

“Yeah?”

“Um…I think it would be better if you were to meet us at my house in 3 hours?”

“Sure, ok. See ya then.” Nick said nervously and hung up his phone. He looked at the mess in his living room. “God, this is going to take forever.” He mumbled to himself as he began to pick up his bags and dirty clothes taking them upstairs. He stopped at the doorway to his bedroom staring in. He walked slowly to the bed and sat down. He pulled Bonnie’s note out of his back pocket and read it aloud.

Nicky,

By now you’ve probably realized I’m not in the hotel room. I wanted you to know I’m not coming back. Making the decision to leave you was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. Please don’t hate me, this is something I had to do…for both of us. It’s better this way. Don’t try to find me, I won’t be able to bare seeing the pain in your eyes, or deal with the heartache we’d both be put though. I love you with all my heart, I always will. The time we spent together was amazing, I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world. Thank you for loving me as much as I love you.

I know this note didn’t answer any questions, I don’t know the answers myself. Take care Nicky, and good luck in everything you do.

Nickolas Gene Carter, I’ll never forget you, and I’ll love you forever.

Love always, Bonnie.

Nick ran his finger slowly over every word. Silently crying as he read the note over and over again. He stood up slowly and walked to the bathroom. Standing over a small waist basket he let the note fall in. “I’ll love you forever too Bon.” He said as the note left his fingertips. It seemed to float above the top of the basket as if refusing to go in. In seconds, the note was out of his life. 11 months, gone. Bonnie was now a memory he justified to himself as he grabbed his phone and quickly punched in Abby’s phone number.

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Page Updated Sat Apr 20, 2002 3:04pm EDT