Sick Jokes - Entertainment - http://maxpages.com/bestjokes2/Sickest

T H E . W O R L D ' S . S I C K E S T . J O K E
A sailor is on shore leave from the Navy. After 6 months at sea hes REALLY horny for sex, unfortunately the night before he lost all but £5 on a poker game. So he runs to the nearest brothel, and bursts out with "Look I'm desperate for sex what can you give me for £5?????"
She replies with:~"Well, we do have helga but..."
"GREAT FINE LEAD ME TO HER'
So she takes the horny sailor along this corridor, as he's walking along he realises that all the walls and rooms are getting worse and worse the further they go. They get to the end of the corridor and see the worse room he has ever seen. He goes in and sees the UGLIEST, MOST DISGUSTING woman that he has had the misfortune to lay eyes on. But hethinks "right, I'm REALLY desperate, so I'll turn off the light so I don't see her" He turns off the light and gets on with his business. After a while he stops and says "I can't go on your pussy is so raw its ripping my dick apart!"
So she moves to the end of her bed and starts fiddling with her crouch. He can't quite see whats going on because its so dark and just shrugs. She climbs back and they get to it. After a while he stops for a rest, he says "WOW! What did you do? Its soft and moist just like a young woman!! Did you use lotion or cream or something?"
She cooly replies "No i just picked the scabs and let the puss run free"

W H E E L C H A I R . S E X
Edna and Bill were two residents of a nursing home who had been carrying on a love affair. They were both 96 years old and wheelchair bound. Every night, they would meet in the TV room. Edna would passively hold Bill's penis, and they would watch TV for an hour or so. It wasn't much, but it was all they had.

One night Bill didn't show up. He didn't show up for the next two nights either. Edna assumed he was dead, but then she saw him happily wheeling about the grounds. She confronted him and said, "Where were you these past couple of nights?" He replied, "If you must know, I was with another woman."

"Bastard!" she cried. "What were you doing?"

"We do the exact same thing that you and I do," he replied.

"Is she prettier or younger than I am?" she asked.

"Nope, she looks the same, and she is 98 years old."

"Well then, what does she have that I don't?" Edna asked. Bill smiled and said," Parkinson's disease."

KingCoolo@aol.com

Visitors: 00803

Page Updated Tue Aug 3, 1999 5:58pm EDT