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One day Mrs. Jones went to have a talk with the minister at the local
church. "Reverend," she said, "I have a problem, my husband keeps falling
asleep during your sermons. It's very embarrassing. What should I do?"

"I have an idea", said the minister. "Take this hatpin with you. I will be
able to tell when Mr. Jones is sleeping, and I will motion to you at specific
times. When I motion, you give him a good poke in the leg."

In the church the following Sunday, Mr. Jones dozed off. Noticing this, the
preacher put his plan to work. "And who made the ultimate sacrifice you?" he
said, nodding to Mrs. Jones.
"Jesus!" Jones cried as his wife jabbed him in the leg with the hatpin. "Yes,
you are right, Mr. Jones," said the minister.

Soon, Mr. Jones nodded off again. Again, the minister noticed"Who is your
redeemer?" he asked the congregation, motioning towards Mrs. Jones. "God!"

Mr. Jones cried out as he was stuck again with the hatpin "Right again," said
the minister, smiling. Before long, Mr. Jones again winked off. However,
this time the minister did not notice.

As he picked up the tempo of his sermon, he made a few motions that Mrs.
Jones mistook as signals to bayonet her husband with the hatpin again.

The minister asked, "And what did Eve say to Adam after she bore him his 99th
son?" Mrs. Jones poked her husband, who yelled, "You stick that dammned thing
in me one more time and I'll break it in half and shove it up your ass!"
"Amen," replied the congregation.

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Page Updated Thu Aug 5, 1999 6:40pm EDT