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| Murphy had lost his favorite hat. Instead of buying a new one, he decided he would go to church and swipe one from the vestibule. When he got there, an usher intercepted him at the door and took him to a pew where he had to sit and listen to a long sermon on the Ten Commandments. After church, the man met the preacher in the vestibule doorway, shook his hand vigorously, and said, "I want to thank you for saving my soul today. I came to church to steal a hat and after hearing your sermon about the Ten Commandments, I decided against it." You mean the commandment 'I shall not steal' changed your mind?" smiled the preacher. "Oh No," replied the man, "the one about adultery did. As soon as you mentioned it, I remembered where I left my old hat!" Little Lucy was playing in the garden when she spotted two spiders mating. "Daddy, what are those two spiders doing?" "They're mating, Lucy" he replied. "What do you call the spider on top Daddy?" Lucy asked. "Oh, that's a Daddy Longlegs." Lucy asked, "Oh, so one's a Daddy Longlegs and the other one is a Mommy Longlegs?" Daddy replied, "No, both of them are Daddy Longlegs." Lucy thought for a moment, then took her foot and stamped them flat. "Well, we're not having THAT sort of thing in our garden!!" |
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