69 Things To Do At K-Mart - Bands - http://maxpages.com/bandskorn/69_things_to_do_at_K

1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of
>filling
> > > them
> > > and
> > > > >stranding
> > > > > them at strategic locations.
> > > > >
> > > > > 2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the
> > > store.
> > > > >
> > > > > 3.Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute
>intervals
> > > > throughout
> > > > the
> > > > > day.
> > > > >
> > > > > 4. Start playing Football; see how many people you can
>get to
> > > join
> > > in.
> > > >
> > > > >
> > > > > 5. Run up to an employee (preferably a male) while
>squeezing
> > > your
> > > > legs
> > > > > together and practically yell at him " I need some
>tampons!!"
> > > > >
> > > > > 6. Try on bras in the sewing/fabric department.
> > > > >
> > > > > 7. Try on bras over top of your clothes.
> > > > >
> > > > > 8. Make a trail of orange juice on the ground, leading to
>the
> > > > restrooms
> > > > >
> > > > > 9. While walking around the store, sing in your loudest
>voice
> > > > possible
> > > > "sex
> > > > > and candy"
> > > > >
> > > > > 10. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official
>tone,
> > > "I
> > > think
> > > > we've
> > > > > got a Code 3 in Housewares," and see what happens.
> > > > >
> > > > > 11. Tune all the radios to a polka station; then turn
>them
> > > all on
> > > and
> > > > turn
> > > > > the volumes to "10".
> > > > >
> > > > > 12. Play with the automatic doors.
> > > > >
> > > > > 13. Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi! I
>haven't
> > > seen
> > > you
> > > > in
> > > > so
> > > > > long!..." etc. See if they play along to avoid
>embarrassment.
> > > > >
> > > > > 14. While walking through the clothing department, ask
> > > yourself
> > > > > loud enough for all to hear, "Who BUYS this shit,
>anyway?"
> > > > >
> > > > > 15. Repeat Number 14 in the jewelry department.
> > > > >
> > > > > 16. Try putting different pairs of women's panties on
>your
> > > head
> > > and
> > > > walk
> > > > > around the store casually.
> > > > >
> > > > > 17. Leave small sacrifices or gifts in the hands of the
> > > mannequins.
> > > > >
> > > > > 18. Play soccer with a group of friends, using the entire
> > > store
> > > as
> > > > your
> > > > > playing field.
> > > > >
> > > > > 19. As the cashier runs your purchases over the scanner,
>look
> > > > mesmerized
> > > > >and
> > > > > say, "Wow. Magic!"
> > > > >
> > > > > 20. Put M&M's on layaway.
> > > > >
> > > > > 21. Move "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas.
> > > > >
> > > > > 22. Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others
> > > you'll
> > > only
> > > > invite
> > > > > them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath.
> > > > >
> > > > > 23. Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling
>all
> > > the
> > > spray
> > > > air
> > > > > fresheners.
> > > > >
> > > > > 24. Nonchalantly "test" the brushes and combs in
>Cosmetics.
> > > > >
> > > > > 25. Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around
> > > saying,
> > > "...
> > > > I'm
> > > > > Batman. Come, Robin--to the Batcave!"
> > > > >
> > > > > 26. TP as much of the store as possible.
> > > > >
> > > > > 27. Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.
> > > > >
> > > > > 28. Play with the calculators so that they all spell
>"hello"
> > > upside
> > > > down.
> > > > >
> > > > > 29. When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and
> > > ask,"Why
> > > won'
> > > > t
> > > > you
> > > > > people just leave me alone?"
> > > > >
> > > > > 30. When two or three people are walking ahead of you,
>run
> > > between
> > > > them,
> > > > > yelling, "Red Rover!"
> > > > >
> > > > > 31. Look right into the security camera, and use it as a
> > > mirror
> > > while
> > > > you
> > > > > pick your nose.
> > > > >
> > > > > 32. Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full
> > > scale
> > > > battlefield
> > > > > with G.I. Joes vs. the X-Men.
> > > > >
> > > > > 33. Take bets on the battle described above.
> > > > >
> > > > > 34. Set up another battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. G.I.
>Janes.
> > > (Red
> > > > >lipstick
> > > > > might give an interesting effect!!!)
> > > > >
> > > > > 35. While handling guns in the hunting department,
>suddenly
> > > ask
> > > the
> > > > clerk
> > > > >if
> > > > > he knows where the anti-depressants are. Act as spastic as
> > > possible.
> > > > >
> > > > > 36. While no one's watching quickly switch the men's and
> > > women's
> > > > > signs on the doors of the rest room.
> > > > >
> > > > > 37. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from
> > > "Mission:
> > > > > Impossible."
> > > > >
> > > > > 38. Attempt to fit into very large gym bags.
> > > > >
> > > > > 39. Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags.
> > > > >
> > > > > 40. Fill your cart with boxes of condoms, and watch
> > > everyone's
> > > jaws
> > > > drop
> > > > > when you attempt to buy them.
> > > > >
> > > > > 41. Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store.
> > > > >
> > > > > 42. Two words: "Marco Polo."
> > > > >
> > > > > 43. Leave Cheerios in Lawn and Garden, pillows in the pet
> > > food
> > > aisle,
> > > > etc.
> > > > >
> > > > > 44. "Re-alphabetize" the CD's in Electronics.
> > > > >
> > > > > 45. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna" look
>with
> > > various
> > > > > funnels.
> > > > >
> > > > > 46. Hide in the clothing racks and when people browse
> > > through,
> > > > > say things like "the fat man walks alone," and scare them
> > > into
> > > > > believing that the clothes are talking to them
> > > > >
> > > > > 47. While walking around alone, pretend someone is with
>you
> > > and
> > > get
> > > > into
> > > > a
> > > > > very serious conversation. Exp: The person is breaking up
>with
> > > you
> > > and
> > > > you
> > > > > begin crying "How could you do this to me? I thought you
>loved
> > > me!
> > > I
> > > > knew
> > > > > there was another girl, but I thought I had won. You
>kissed ME
> > > darling.
> > > > "
> > > > >Then
> > > > > act as though you are being beaten and fall onto the ground
> > > screaming
> > > > and
> > > > > having convulsions.
> > > > >
> > > > > 48. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker,
>assume
> > > the
> > > fetal
> > > > > position and scream, "No, no! It's those voices again!"
> > > > >
> > > > > 49. Go to an empty checkout stand and try to check people
> > > out.
> > > > >
> > > > > 50. Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines
>and
> > > relax.
> > >
> > > > If
> > > > the
> > > > > store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain that you
> > > don't
> > > get
> > > > out
> > > > >much,
> > > > > and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.
> > > > >
> > > > > 51. Get a stuffed animal and go to the front of the store
>and
> > > begin
> > > > > stroking it lovingly, saying "Good girl, good Bessie."
> > > > >
> > > > > 52. Go over to the shoe department and try on every pair
>of
> > > shoes,
> > > > not
> > > > > putting one pair back. Take the paper from the boxes and
>throw
> > > it
> > > in
> > > > various
> > > > > aisles
> > > > >
> > > > > 53. When someone steps away from their cart to look at
> > > something,
> > > > quickly
> > > > > make off with it without saying a word.
> > > > >
> > > > > 54. Follow people through the aisles, always staying
>about
> > > five
> > > feet
> > > > away.
> > > > > Continue to do this until they leave the department.
> > > > >
> > > > > 55. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.
> > > > >
> > > > > 56. Test the fishing rods and see what you can "catch"
>from
> > > the
> > > other
> > > > > aisles.
> > > > >
> > > > > 57. In the makeup department, spray yourself with every
> > > perfume
> > > there
> > > > is,
> > > > > then walk up to a boy who is with another girl and start
> > > flirting
> > > with
> > > > him
> > > > in
> > > > > that annoying, ditsy way. "hi!!!! (giggle) What's your
> > > sign?(giggle)."
> > > > When
> > > > > the boy shows no interest, start hitting on the girl the
>exact
> > > same
> > > way.
> > > >
> > > > > "hi!!!! (giggle) What's your sign?(giggle)."
> > > > >
> > > > > 58. Hold indoor shopping cart races.
> > > > >
> > > > > 59. Redress the mannequins as you see fit.
> > > > >
> > > > > 60.When there are people behind you, walk REALLY SLOW,
> > > especially
> > > > thin
> > > > > narrow aisles.
> > > > >
> > > > > 61.Relax in the patio furniture until you get kicked out.
> > > > >
> > > > > 62.Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift
> > > wrap.
> > > > >
> > > > > 63. Pay off layaways fifty cents at a time.
> > > > >
> > > > > 64. Say things like, "Would you be so kind as to direct
>me to
> > > your
> > > > > Twinkies?"
> > > > >
> > > > > 65. Make up nonsense products and ask newly hired
>employees
> > > if
> > > there
> > > > are
> > > > >any
> > > > > in stock, i.e., "Do you have any Shnerples here?"
> > > > >
> > > > > 66. Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim
>you're
> > > taking
> > > it
> > > > for
> > > > a
> > > > > "test drive."
> > > > >
> > > > > 67. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters.
> > > > >
> > > > > 68. Get boxes of Condoms and randomly put them in peoples
> > > carts
> > > when
> > > > they
> > > > > don't realize it!
> > > > 69. Drive around the entrances screaming out the window "The British are coming "

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Page Updated Fri Nov 22, 2002 8:56pm EST