ThE TrOuBlEd HuMaN RaCe!! - Entertainment - http://maxpages.com/bananer/Troubled_Human

The Troubled Human Race

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through
stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:

On a Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(But that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)

On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(and Dial soap is the extra special stuff, but how do you use regular soap?)

On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's JUST a suggestion, you know, you can eat it frozen . . .)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert:
Do not turn upside down.
(printed on bottom of the box)
(Too late! You lose!)
(Food to piss you off, my favorite!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Really?!? Well I'll be!)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(Really . . .)

On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we
just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)

On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
(Well, why would someone buy that!)

On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning keep out of children.
(Or pets! What's for dinner?)

On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(What about outerspace?)

On a Japanese food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(OK, now I'm very curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
(Oh, then nevermind, I'll pass . . .)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(Is THAT how you do it, I've always tried eating them first . . . no wonder . . .)

On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals.
(Ok, that was pointless! Who would stop it with their hands! DUH!!)

On a childs superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(That's right, destroy a universal childhood fantasy!)

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Page Updated Fri Mar 9, 2001 6:51pm EST