Monica's Funny Lines - Entertainment - http://maxpages.com/bananer/Monica

Favorite Friends Character

Who is You Favorite 'Friends' Character

Chandler Bing

Pheobe Buffay

Monica Gellar

Ross Gellar

Rachel Greene

Joey Tribianni

Current Results

Pheobe is battling with Chandler & Monica to try and find Rachel a date, both teams thinking the guy they've found is better than the others:
Phoebe: My guy is well read.
Chandler: Our guy has great hair.
Phoebe: My guy has great teeth!
Chandler: Our guy smells incredible.
Monica (to Chandler): Do you want our guy to be your guy?

In the One Where is Could Have Been where Monica is still fat:
Monica: Oh my God! Rachel! You look terrific!
Rachel: Oh, so do you! Did you lose weight?
Monica: You are so sweet to notice! Yes, I lost three and a half pounds!

Ross:It is frowned upon. Especially by that professor we ran into last night, Judgey Von Holier-than-thou.
Monica: Well, Ross, you be careful now. You don't want to get a reputation as, you know, Professor McNails-his-students.

Monica: "Really, Phoebs? Because, you know, you'd have to be an actual waitress. This can't be like your 'I can be a bear cub' thing."

Monica to Chandler: "That'll teach you to lick my muffin!"

Chandler: "Can I borrow your phone?"
Monica: "Okay, but for future reference, that thing in your hand can also be used as a phone."

Monica: "Oh God, I'm dating a man whose pool I once peed in."

Phoebe: "So, do you have any other possibilities?"
Monica: "Oh, yeah. Well, there's the possibility that I won't make rent."

Joey: "Hey, Phoebes, guess who we saw today?"
Phoebe: "Ooh, ooh, fun! Liam Neeson? Morley Safer? The woman who cuts my hair?"
Monica: "Okay, look, this could be a really long game."

Phoebe pointing to Chandler's bracelet: "What's that sparkly thing?"
Chandler: "That thing... It's a, uh... Yeah, it's... it's a little flashy."
Ross: "No, no! No, no! It's not flashy... not for a Goodfella!"
Monica: "Man that is sharp! It must have cost you quite a few dubloons!"

Joey: "Oh, hey, Monica. We've got a question."
Monica: "Alright. For the bizillionth time, yes I see other women in the shower at the gym, and no, I don't look."

Joey: "It's not worth it. I quit."
Monica: "Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait one minute, wait a minute... I believe this will change your mind! (reading) "In a mediocre
play, Joseph Tribbiani was able to achieve brilliant new levels of..." continued on page 153... "sucking.""

Joey: "Monica, have you ever been with him when he wasn't drinking?"
Monica: "Well, we just happen to go to a lot of places where you might drink! I mean how do you go to a wine-tasting without having a drink? Or, or to a club? Or to the... zoo..."

Rachel: "Um, well... actually, I'm already done, but I... I kinda got plans."
Monica: "Huh... you have other friends?"

Ross: "And I got this blouse for mom..."
Monica: "Ross, that is gorgeous!"
Ross: "Yeah."
Monica: "Look at these authentic fake medals! I tell you, mom is going to be voted best dressed at the Make-Believe Military Academy!"

Monica: "Hey, it's funny's cousin, not funny!"

Chandler: "Ho! Ho! Ho-ly crap, is it hot in here?!"
Joey: "Really! Hey, you mind if I turn the heat down?"
Monica: "Hey, we could've used that kind of thinking earlier!"

Monica: "Alright. That's great. Then jsut go. Go Knicks!"
Richard: "Uh, it's the college playoffs."
Monica: "Oh, then go Vassar!"
Richard: "Uh, they're not in it."
Monica: "OK. Then just go."

Monica: "Look. they look at Joey in the kitchen with a cigar in his mouth, looking at his reflection in a spatula Joey, do
you know we can see you from here?"

Chandler holding a phone: "Can I borrow your phone?"
Monica: "Ok, but for future reference, that thing in your hand can also be used as a phone!"

Monica: "Hello? Were we at the same table? It's like... cocktails in Appalachia!"

Monica: "This woman is living my life and she's doing it better than me! She has everything I want, and she doesn't have my
mother!"

Fun Bobby: "You want to hear something funny?"
Monica: "Oh, God, yes!"

Monica: "See, now they're as different as night and... later that night."

Monica: "Ya know what, I think I'm gonna go to my room and read Cosmo, maybe there's something helpful in there. Know
what, at least maybe I can learn how to do an at home bikini wax with leftover Cristmas candles."

Phoebe: "What's with all the bottles of liquor?"
Ross: "What's going on? Is, uh... is Bobby drinking again?"
Monica: "Oh, no, no. This isn't for him, this is for me. That way he's still sober, but I find his stories about shoelaces much more amusing."

Ross: "I meant because the monkey in [that commercial] reminds me of Marcel."
Phoebe: "I can see that cuz they both have those big brown eyes, and, you know, the little pouty chin."
Monica: "And the fact that they're both monkeys?!"

Monica: "Um, yeah, so uh, uh, listen. I'm sorry I didn't tell you this before, but umm...I, I'm no longer at my job. I had to leave it."
Mrs. Gellar: "Why?"
Monica: "Because they made me."

Rachel: "No, no, no. Wait. I wanna see what happens."
Joey: "Uh, I get Leslie out of the coma and then we make out."
Rachel: "Well, how can that be? You were just kissing Sabrina!"
Monica: "Rachel, it's a world where Joey is a neurosurgeon!"

Rachel: "What? So you go over there, you tell him you think he's cute... what's the worst that could happen?"
Monica: "He could hear me!"

Monica: "I just told Rachel that Roy touched my boob."

Interviewer: "And if I want to call for a reference on your last job?"
Monica: Oh, that's there on the bottom. See? The manager, Chandler Bing."

Monica: "YES!"
Guys: "What?"
Monica: "Carol and Susan's caterer had a mountain bike accident this weekend and she's in a full body cast!"
Guys: "YES!"

Dance Instructor: "You can come up to the front and dance with me."
Monica: "Why don't I just take off my clothes and have a nightmare?"

Chandler: "Hey, you feeling better?"
Monica: "Yeah, I think that fifth shower actually got the interview off me."

Monica: "Did you know it still smells like monkey in there?"

Ross: "Remember the time I stuck a broom in your bike spokes, and you flipped over and hit your head on the curb?"
Monica: "No, but I remember people telling me about it..."
Ross: "I hope Ben has a little sister."
Monica: "And I hope she can kick his ass!"

Monica: "You know what, though? I just don't feel... the Thing. I mean, they feel the Thing. I don't feel... the Thing."
Co-Worker: "Honey, you should always feel the Thing."

Rachel pretending to be Monica: "I use my breasts to get other people's attention!"
Monica pretending to be Rachel: "We both do that!"

Joey: "So when do we get to meet the guy?"
Monica: "Let's see... today's Monday? Never."

Monica: "We ripped that couple apart and kept the pieces for ourselves."

Monica: "Loosely translated, 'We should do this again' means 'You will never see me naked.'"

Monica: "I'm like one of those old women with shiny guys named Chad. I'm Joan Collins!"
Ethan: "Who??"

Joey: "You know what I mean?"
Monica: "Joey, we always know what you mean."

Van Damme: "Perhaps, uh, the three of us, just could..."
Monica and Rachel: "Oh, no no no no no!"
Van Damme: "Are you sure? I can crush a walnut with my butt..."
Monica and Rachel: "No no no no..."
Rachel: "Impressive..."
Monica: "...but no. Maybe if I were baking..."

Monica: "It's not fair. She's got everything I want and she doesn't have my mother."

Monica to Chandler: "This is where we use that Hello word we talked about."

Monica to Ethan: "You shouldn't even be here, it's a school night."

Monica: "Water rules !"

Monica: "I just had sex with someone who wasn't alive during the bicentennial."
Ethan big grin: "I just had sex!"

Monica: "I'm not 22...I'm 25 and 13 months."

Ethan: "You didn't tell me your secret!"
Monica: "My lie didn't make one of us a felon in 48 states!"

Monica: "Alright, tell me if this is too cute. Lesbian wedding... chicken breasts."
Rachel: "Oh, god, I think I'm gonna be sick."
Monica: "What? It's not like I'm putting little nipples on them!"

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Page Updated Fri Mar 9, 2001 6:51pm EST