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| Rent-A-Hair |
| One day I decided I needed a new sofa. So I did what any other good little bald man would do, I went to Rent-O-Place. As I was walking into the store, I was almost assaulted by the sales staff in their hurry to make a sale. "May I help you?" said the red-haired sales lady. "No!" I said, "I'm just trying to look around a little." "Ok", she said, "I'll be here if you need anything." "I'll let you know if you have anything I want." But of course,... she did! He, he, he! She had that RED Hair! That Long red hair. That mouth-watering red hair. "Excuse me miss," I said, "may I trouble you for one moment of your precious time?" "Oh, sure." she said. I then asked her if she could let me use the bathroom. "You sure can use it." she said dimwittingly. My plan was now starting to take sinister shape! Ha,ha,ha,ha! She took me out back into the backroom where the bathroom lived, and pointed me in the direction to go. I asked her, "Could you show me where the light switch is perhaps?" "Ok" she muttered impatiently. At the split second she stepped into the bathroom to turn on the light, I shoved her all the way in and shut the door behind us. "What are you doing?" she yelled at me. "You told me if I need anything from you to just let you know, well, I'm letting you know!" She had the worst look of fear in her eyes when I pulled out my switch blade knife! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! It was a great day for me. I got myself a new sofa, and a new RED HAIRED WIG! Hee,hee! |
| The Witches Curse! |
| A long time ago, in the 1700's, there lived an old woman who loved bald men. She just couldn't get enough of them. She would go to bed at night and dream of their round, soft heads. She would've loved me! Anyways... she ended up sleeping with this one bald man in particular. Over the weeks, she would sneak into his cabin and ..uh..well, *ahem*..boy it's hot in here.. WELL YOU KNOW! After some time, people in the villiage caught word of it and said that they were going to stone her. When she asked why, they proclaimed that she had been in fact sleeping with TWO men! She laughed at this and said that there was no way, since she was faithful to her man. At that moment he showed up and said she actually HAS been sleeping with TWO men. She asked him what he meant. The answer was all to clear when his TWIN BROTHER stepped out from behind some trees. It seems that the two brothers had fun like this, using women and then having the townspeople stone them to death for what they have done. The villiagers called her a WITCH and tied her to a stake. She then said, "If I am a witch, then I put a curse on your children and your childrens chilren. Then they burnt her at the stake. She burned to death laughing about the curse. Then a particular thing stared to happen. And like she said, it happened to their children and their childrens children. As of that day, all children..were BORN BALD! |
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 jeffreyh@exploremaine.com |
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