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| I understand Sunny's feelings. I never feel that a Sardarjis are blondes. There are similar jokes about Namboothiris (Kerala Brahmins). It doesn't mean that they are blondes or clueless people. IAC, a joke originate when some body is ridiculed in some way. I request all Sardar brothers to take this as just a joke and in no way it is an insult to you.
1 . Letter from mother to son Santa Singh :
Pyare Puttar, Vahe Guru. I am writing this letter slow, because I know you can't read fast. We do not live where we did when you left home. Your dad read in the paper that most accidents happen 20 miles from your home, so we moved. I wont be able to send you the address as the last Sardar who stayed here took the numbers with them for their next house, so they would not have to change their address. This place is really nice. It even has a washing machine. I am not sure it works too well. Last week I put 3 shirts, pulled the chain and haven't seen them since then. The weather here isn't too bad. It rained only twice last week. The first time it rained 3 days, and the second time for 4 days. The coat you wanted me to send you, your aunt said it would be a little too heavy to send in the mail with all the buttons, so we cut them off and put them in the pocket. We got another bill from the funeral home. It said if we don't make the last payment on grandma's funeral, he will come up again. Your father has another job. He has 500 men under him. He is cutting grass at the cemetery . Your sister had a baby this morning. I haven't found out whether it's a girl or a boy, so I don't know whether you are an Aunt or Uncle. Your uncle Jatinder fell in a whisky vat. Some men tried pulling him out, but he fought them off and drowned. We cremated him and he burned for three days. There is not much more news this time. Nothing much has happened. LoveMom. P.S. I was going to send you some money but the envelope was already sealed.
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| 2 . Santa's Curtains :
Santa enters a store that sell curtains.
He tells the salesman, "I would like to buy a pair of pink curtains."
The salesman assured him that they had a large selection of pink curtains. He showed him several patterns, but Santa seemed to be having a hard time choosing.
Finally, he selects a lovely pink floral print.
The salesman asked what size curtains he needed.
Santa replies, "Fifteen inches."
"Fifteen inches?" asked the salesman. "That sounds very small, what room are they for?"
Santa tells him that they aren't for a room, they are for his computer monitor.
The surprised salesman replies, "But, sir, computers do not have curtains!"
Santa says, "Hellllooooooooo........I've got Windows!" |
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| 3 . Santa in ICU :
A man was brought in to the hospital intensive care ward, put in a bed, tubes coming out everywhere. A week later, another man was admitted, in a similar condition.
Both lay there, machines pinging, tubes poking etc. a couple more weeks before one of them had the strength to raise his hand and point to himself and say, "Bengali."
The other patient signaled he had heard, raised his own hand, and said, "Punjabi."
This act tired them out so badly it was a week before the first summoned up the strength to say, "Calcutta."
Other replied in a weedy frail voice, "Ludhiana."
Once more, the strain was too much for them both and they passed out. Days passed before the first patient managed to again point to himself and say, "Asit."
Replied the other, "Santa."
A few hours later, Asit managed to point to himself again and rasp out weakly, "Cancer."
Santa responded, "Sagittarius."
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| 4 . Translation : Santa Singh was looking for Job. He couldn't find one in India so started applying to US and Canada. As soon as he applied to US and Canada he got a reply from a company.
Santa Singh is very happy. Daru-sharu di party de dali.. dost poocchne lagge ki, bhai, bata to kon si company hai, kitni salary hai...vagairah Santa Singh:"English main letter aayeaa hai, main tuhanu translate kar ke sunana haaan .. Tau suno kya likhya hai..."
"You Do not meet" tum to milte hi nahin ho...bahut busy ho..
"our requirements" Humhe to bahut zarooorat hai..
"no further correspondence" Aage chitthi patri di jarurat nahin hai, jaise bhi ho jaldi se aa jao
"will be entertained" Bahut khatir ki jayegi ONT> |
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| 5. Santa's Mercedes Hits banta's maruti.
Santa Singh was driving his Mercedes at a furious pace and suddenly hits the car ahead, a Maruti, and both come to a complete halt.
The Maruti's driver, Banta Singh is furious. He steps out of his car and moves towards Santa. He
makes a circle on the road and asks Santa to stand inside it and dares him to step out of it.
He pulls out a rod and breaks the bonnet of the Mercedes. He looks back at Santa and finds him laughing cunningly.
This makes him even more furious and goes about breaking all the windows of the expensive car. Again looking back he finds Santa laughing! His anger peaking, Banta smashes whatever part of
the Mercedes he can lay hands on. Yet again Santa is found smiling.
Frustated and tired, Banta finally asks Santa Singh, "What's the matter with you? I have completely torn apart your car and you continue to smile, what's wrong with you?"
Santa replies, "Well, you didn't know... you see, everytime you turned to smash my car, I stepped out of the circle!"
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