::elecrtic guitar plays::
I wanna be,the strongest
No-one ever was
To kill them is my real test
To get stronger is my cause!
Im gonna search the whole of da land
Flying far and high,
Each Pokemon to choke with a band
yelling "DIE POKEMON DIE!"
Pokemon-gotta kill em alllllll!
Its you and me
Have a taste of my ki
Pokemon!
Ohhhhhh, you're my worst friend
So come here so I can blast your head
Pokemon-gotta kill em alllllll!
My heart and that true
I dunno if your courage will pull you through!
Pokemon!
So you kick me and Ill kill you
Pokemonnnnnnnnnnnnnnn!
Pokemon-gotta kill em allllllll!
Pokemon!
::Vegeta blasts Pikachu with a Galick gun!::
**********
This short story is for all you people out there that are driven to madness by watching MTV (yes,that also includes me-its a big bro thing,they make you watch it when Dbz is on)
So,if you do not-repeat-DO NOT fit in to the description above and instead love watching MTV 24 hours a day,then please do not read the following story thingy whatsit!You have been warned.........
Richard Blackwood: Wahhoo!Its the MTV awards-and its live!
The people cheer in the backround(you can tell its fake though.....who wants to clap in any perfomance?!Unless your payed or bribed......)
Richard Blackwood: We start off with.....yes,thats right!Its the girl that we all love!ITS BRITNEY SPEARS!!!
This time,the people boo.All except Vegeta.........he stands up and cheers and whistles!
Vegeta: WHOOOO-HOOOOOO!BRITNEY ROCKS!BRITNEY ROCKS!
Bulma: WHAT DID YOU SAY?!I THOUGHT I WAS THE ONLY WOMAN IN YOUR LIFE MR SAIYAN PRINCE!
Vegeta: OH YEAH?!YOU WERE UNTIL I FOUND OUT THAT YOUR SECOND MAIN MAN IS CRAIG DAVID!
Goku: Guys,guys,calm down.Put your heads on the table and *calm down*
Vegeta and Bulma keep on arguing.
Chichi: STOP IT! I BRANG ALONG MY SPECIAL FRYING PAN!
Vegeta & Bulma: We'll be good.....
Lights go out.
Britney Spears: I'll be singin......BABY ONE MORE TIME!
Lights re-appear.Music starts up.
Britney Spears: Hit me baby one more time!Oh baby,baby,how was I supposed....to know that- Vegeta: something wasnt right!
Britney Spears: (music stops)Errr,thank you spiky guy!ahem(music resumes)My loneliness,is killing me-
Bulma:IT SURE IS!KAMEHAMEHAAAAAAAAAA!
Richard Blackwood: OH MY GOD!BRITNEY SPEARS IS DEAD FROM A BLUE HAIRED ANIME WOMAN!CUT TO COMMERCIALS!
Commercials come up.
Vegeta: THE HELL DID YOU DO THAT FOR WOMAN?!
Bulma: SHE ASKED FOR IT!I SAW HER WINK AT YOU!
Vegeta: WHAT THE HELL?IS THERE SOMETHING THAT YOU HAVENT TOLD ME?!ARE YOU A SPY?
Chichi: Wheres that frying pan.......?
Vegeta and Bulma quickly settle down.
Richard Blackwood: Ok,we're back! Since Britney Spears was killed (everyone cheers) errr...
then we'll go to our main even......CRAIG DAVID!
Everybody claps but Bulma stands up and starts throwing roses at Craig David.
Vegeta: WHA?!LOOK WHOS FLIRTING NOW!THATS IT!HES GOTTA GO!
Bulma: DONT YOU DARE...........CHICHI! HELP! MARITIAL PROBLEMS HERE!
Chichi:Ahhhh! My frying pan! All nice and shiny!
Vegeta: You got lucky......
Craig David:Ok ladies (all the girls start screaming)hehe,heres my mumber one single, Seven days!
Bulma: Hes so dreamy (eyes sparkle)
Vegeta falls in an anime way.
Craig David:(music starts)
Bulma:(screams)I LOVE YOU,CRAIG DAVID!
Vegeta: WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?! THATS IT!I'VE HAD ENOUGH!(powers up to ssj4)NOW WE'LL SEE WHO YOU REALLY LOVE!(does his final flash thing onto Craig David) BWA HA HA HA HA!
Bulma:(falls on knees)NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Richard Blackwood:OH MY GOD!NOT ANOTHER ONE!YO,WE GOTTA GO!SCRAM!RUN LIKE HELL!YOU GET THE POINT RIGHT?!THERES A MANIAC WITH A MONKEY TAIL THAT KILLIN US ALL!
Vegeta: Thats right,run along little Earth cowards......your time will come!MWAHAHAHA!WHENEVER TINA FEELS LIKE KILLING ANYONE ELSE THAT PISSES HER OFF!HAHAHAHAHAHA!
******************
Thats right ladies and gentlemen and maube Saiyans and Nameks.Its time to cuss another TV show that we all hate!This one is especially for Chichi (or Miss S Tilmitt).Yup,its the annoying show that makes all of us kids commit suicide......ITS TIME TO CUSS THE ONE AND ONLY "CHANGING ROOMS"!Ahem....lets get it on.....
Carol Smiley: Ok people,This house is the pits!Just look at it!These holes everywhere it looks like this is a shooting gallery! Well,we are gonna give it a nice lil make-over! Ok then,lets start redecorating before the members of this house gone-bad-come back!
(The crew start decorating the whole house.They re-paint the walls pink(It used to be blue and green)re-fill the holes,put all the clothes that are really stinky(I'll give ya all a BIG nice juicy clue.....its blue tight spandex ^^)in the wash,get rid of all the dust and making the garden worth looking at!)
Carol Smiley:(with a big fake facelifted smile on her face)Phew!We are done everyone!Just look at how much its improved and oh! That must be them right now! (points to Vegeta with Bulma in his arms and Trunks landing softly on the ground)Gosh,the nice looking young kid is oh-so-fine..................oh crap,its live TV.
Vegeta: THE HELL?WHO THE CRAP ARE THESE HOMOS WITH CAMERAS IN MY HOUSE?!
Trunks:You dont think they found the weed under my bed....I SWEAR!ITS GOKU!HE MADE ME TAKE THEM!I SWEAR ON....ON....ON DADS LIFE!
Vegeta: SHUT UP BRAT!
Vegeta,the wife and the nice looking kid run towards their wrecked house.
Carol Smiley: Oh hello there!We re-decorated your home and look at how lovely it now looks!
Vegeta looks around.The whole planet starts shaking.Have you ever seen a pissed ssj4?Well,
this is your lucky day!Not only hes a pissed ssj4,but for the very firts time,hes a pissed ssj5!
Vegeta: The walls......they are pink.....DO YOU THINK THAT ITS FUNNY WEARING A PINK SHIRT?!
WELL?DO YA?!
Bulma: Vegeta,hun,calm down im sure it aint that bad-AHHHHHHHHH!YOU PUT HIS ARMOR IN THE WASH!AHHHHHH!I LOVE HIS MANLY SAIYAN ODOUR!NOW ITS SMELLS LIKE LEMON!KILL THEM HUN!
Vegeta: You got it,slavegirl.
Trunks: AHHHHHH!FATHER!A PERVERT!HELP!
Vegeta turns around only to find Dale Winton drooling over Trunks.
Vegeta: GET AWAY FROM MY STRAIGHT SON,ASSHOLE!HE WAS BORN AS A STRAIGHT AND HE'LL DIE AS A STRAIGHT!(fires his ki at Dale Winton)AND NOW,FOR THE REST OF YOU SAD BBC PRESENTERS!(Fires a Galick Gun at the whole lot)Good ol' Galick Gun.....always gets the job done...
Bulma: Carol Smiley my butt!Look whos smiling now!HAHAHAHA!
Vegeta: Woman,for once just shut up cause you're really askin for it.....
Bulma:.......
Trunks: Uhhhhh.....what are we gonna do about the house?Its all pink and the holes are filled.......
Vegeta: Ugh......there isnt anything we CAN do.....oh well....pink walls....at least it doesnt clash with my pink badman shirt.....
******************************
Hi again.How many of you people have pcs?(Takes in votes)Hmmmm,quite a lot of people....
How many of you always have problems of some sort when using a pc?(Once again,takes in vote)WHOA!THATS A LOT OF DISAPPOINTED PEOPLE!And I bet that what you always dreamed of is to kicks Bill Gate's sorry lil butt,am I right?!Of course Im right-IM ALWAYS RIGHT!Well,
guess what?!Yup,thats right!Thats exactly what Im gonna do right here right now!But,since this site is a Dbzcomedy site,how about if one of the many Dbz characters express their anger towards Bill Gates?!(Takes in vote for the final time)Nuff said,aye......
Goku: Uhhhhhhh......how in the next-dimension am I supposed to switch this computer on?!
Goku notices the huge sticker that says "press me to switch me on you retart"
Goku: Ohhhhhh.........(presses the huge button.The pc starts up)ohhhhh,looks at all the pretty colours!(is now on desktop)Now what do I do?(looks at where it says instructions.reads it but still doesnt understand it)Damn,I need help....GOHAN!GET YOUR ASS IN HERE BOY!
Gohan: (responding to Gokus comment)Yes father?
Goku: I need help with this computer.I cant understa-
Gohan: WHY ON EARTH ARE YOU USING A PC FOR?!
Goku: ?!
Gohan: NO WONDER YOU DONT UNDERSTAND IT! BILL GATES CREATED IT!
Goku: BILL GATES?! I THOUGHT I KILLED HIM!
Gohan: No father.......your confusing youself with Dr Gero......
Goku: Whats the difference?
Gohan: Bill Gates created Windows 95,Windows 98 and all that Microsoft crap.....
Goku: OH MY GOD!YOU MEAN TO TELL ME THAT JUST NOW I'VE BEEN USING WINDOWS 98?!
Gohan:(puts on a sad face)Unfortunaly.....yes father.....(bows head in shame)
Goku:GRRRR!THIS IS THE SORT OF ACT THAT MOVES ME ONTO A HIGHER SUPER SAIYAN LEVEL!
Gohan: Father.....when I died, you stayed the same ssj level.....why didnt you move up one?!
Goku: I errrr.....NEVER MIND ABOUT THAT!WE ARE OFF TO SEE BILL GATES!(flies off)
Gohan:(follows Goku)BUCKLE UP BILL GATES!ITS THE BIG BAD SAIYANS WHO ARE RIGHT ON YER TAIL
(5 mins later,the Saiyans are outside Bill Gate's office)
Receptionist: Mr Gates,there are 2 mean japanese anime characters here to see you.
Bill Gates: Ahhh,another fan.How may i help you-
Goku:KAMEHAMEHAAAAAAAAAAAA!
Bill Gates:NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!(fades away)
Goku: Take that Bill Gate's.Now its the guy that created all the Macintoshes turn.....
Katy: HEY!I USED A MACINTOSH TO CREATE THIS SITE!
Gohan: Oh well!You can never change my fathers mind Katy!Now,for your own safety,step aside or else....
Katy: OR ELSE WHAT?!TINA,YOU BETTER NOT MAKE GOKU KILL ME!
Goku: Tina?Who is this.........Tina?
Katy: The b*tch that is making you all do this!
Tina: HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU?!DONT CALL ME A B*TCH!NOW YOU'LL PAY!
Goku: Huh?.....Must kill Katy.....Tina is possesing me......must kill Katy.....K-O-KEN TIMES 99999999999999999999999999!(fires his ki at Katy)
******************************
Guess what people?MTV has once again pissed me off......they showed Eminem's video but they cut out all the swearing.....This one is for you,Eminem.....
Richard Blackwood: Ok now people.Music please......(music comes on)Who is the man?!
MTV crew: You're the man!
Richard Blackwood: I said who is the man?!
MTV crew: You're the man!
Richard Blackwood: Now who is the caller?!
Vegeta: Vegeta's the caller!
Richard Blackwood:I said who is the caller?!
Vegeta:I SAID VEGETA IS THE CALLER!
Richard Blackwood: Ok Vegeta,you've phoned in to answer the question that lies in one of these cards! Which card do ya want?!
Vegeta: BLUE!
Richard Blackwood:(opens the blue card and reads)How many people are there in the group "Five"?(Timer starts counting from T Minus 5 seconds)
Vegeta: Ummmm....I should know this one.....ummmmm......seven?
Richard Blackwood: Nope sorry.The answer is 5.
Billie: YOU FOOL! GO TO SCHOOL CAUSE YOU'RE JUST A FOOL!
Vegeta: WHATTTTTT?!(fires Galick Gun to the whole planet) NEVER CALL ME A FOOL!
*****************************
CrappyMon,Crappy Monsters Crappytal Monsters are the losers......Oh!Hi there!Soz bout dat.Digimon was on CITV and I had to watch it.....thats what you get for been blessed with 2 cousins that will do anything to watch Digimon(even delibaratly spill a hot cuppa tea onto my brothers.Everybody say awwwwwwwwww!)Ok,now to the point.Doesnt it bug you that whenever you're watching DBZ and the adverts come up,this really cheesy advert comes up that you've seen a thousand million times?Cause it sure bugs me.....
Punch to punch (glig glig)
Knee to knee (glig glig)
Baby Gohan punch together now (glig glig)
Take your tail (glig glig)
And your little moon oh you're so sweet (glig glig)
Baby Gohan-from Zapf creation
*******************************************
ARGH!ITS ANOTHER GAY TOY ADVERT!And that means another gay TV thing that I should cuss ^^
Kid with a really high voice: ITS THE WONDERFUL WORLD OF WUVLUV!
Goku: (to Chichi) Here comes Saiyan!
Gohan: Do you wuv me?!
Vegeta: WuvLuv!
Chichi: WuvLuvs give birth to golden Oozarus! Some even have twins!
Vegeta: And when you feel like it,you just have the golden Oozarus *shoved* back in!
Everyone: (off camera) New WuvLuv! AKA-the Capsule Corp experimenting on Gohan!
******************************
This advert aint gay.....its funny but its a bit old......you still dont know what the hell Im talking about?Just read this next remake of the advert you Earthlings call....I wont spoil the suprise.....so........ENJOY DAMMIT!
Goku: Yo V.Wus up?
Vegeta: Nothin.Watchin the Dragon havin a crud.(Points to Porunga been constipaded on the toilet who is yelling out "COME OUT COME OUT WHEREVER YOU ARE")
Goku: (looks out the window and sees Porunga)True, true.....
Radditz: WWWWWAAAAAZZZZUUUUPPPPP?!
Goku: WWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAZZZZZZZZZZZZUUUUUUUUUUUPPPPPPPPPPPP?!
Vegeta:Yo,wheres dookie?
Goku:YO!YO,PICK UP THE PHONE!
Krillin:Hello?
Vegeta:WWWWWWAAAAAAAAAZZZZZZUUUUUUUUUPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP?!
Krillin:SUUUUUUUUPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP?!
Goku:SUUUUUUUUUUPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP?!
Vegeta:UPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP?!
Krillin:WWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAZZZZZZZZZZZZZUUUUUUUUPPPPPPPPPPPPPP?!
Goku: (beep)Yo,hold up.(beep)Hello?
Trunks:WWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAZZZZZZZZZUUUUUUUUUUUPPPPPPPPPPPPPP?!
Radditz:WWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSUUUUUUPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP?!
Goku:WWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAZZZZZZZUUUUUUUPPPPPPPPPPPPP?!
Vegeta:WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAZZZZZZZZZUUUUUUUUUUUPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP?!
Krllin:WWWWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAZZZZZZZZZZZZZUUUUUUUPPPPPPahahahahahaha!
Radditz:WWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAZZZZZZZZZZZUUUUUUUUUPPPPPPPPPPPPP?1
Trunks:(puts down the phone)
Krllin:(also put down the phone)
Raddtz:(puts the phone down also!)
Goku:So V.Wus up?
Vegeta: Nothin.Watchin the Dragon havin a crud.(Points to Porunga been constipaded on the toilet who is yelling out "COME OUT COME OUT WHEREVER YOU ARE")
Goku: (looks out the window and sees Porunga)True, true.....
**********************************************
Ugh....Buffy the Vampire slayer is coming back to Sky1 and that means that every Friday, Ill be tortured by watching this lesbian stab some vampires that you can see that they are so very fake.Anyway....time to take out my anger and stress out by typin this lil re-created story which I think that you might enjoy (if you hate slayers that is)...
Characters:
Vegeta as Buffy
Radditz as angel (^_^)
And the rest of the Dbz characters as vampires
Title: Vegeta the miscellaneous slayer
As Vegeta walks through the dark graveyards at night of all the dead people he killed, he waits for Radditz to come...Suddenly,he sees Picolo (A level 5 vampire) jump out from one of the graves.
Picolo:AHHHHHH! SO YOU MUST BE THE SLAYER!
Vegeta: And you must be Picolo.... I've been expecting you (slowly reaches for the steak)
Picolo: I VANT TO SUG YER BLOOD! (pounces on Vegeta)
Vegeta: (accidently lets go of the steak) AHHHHH! HELP!
Out of nowhere, Radditz appears in his vampire form and helps Vegeta by grabing the steak and stabing Picolo in the heart.Picolo turns to dust(remember,he's Angel.Hes in love with Buffy and in this case,Buffy is Vegeta! XD)
Radditz: Are you ok? (helps Vegeta up)
Vegeta: How nice of you to drop in (sad....very sad ¬.¬)But how many times do I have to tell you, ITS OVER RADDITZ!
Radditz: Please,give me another chance! I promise I wont Suck your blood when you turn your back at me! I PROMISE!
Vegeta:......Really?
Radditz: (nods continously) Uh huh!Uh huh!
Vegeta:Well.........Ok!(starts walking again with Radditz.Starts blabbing on about every little problem in her (or is it his?....We'll call it a her!) entire life.So much that Radditz has enough)
Radditz: OH SHUT UP!(turns into his vampire form) WHO CARES IF YOUR PARENTS ARE GONNA GET DIVORCED? I DONT BLAME THEM! THEY'VE GOT YOU AS THEIR DAUGHTER!(pounces on Vegeta and sucks her-or his-blood)
Vegeta:AHHHHHH! YOU PROMISED! (dies)
Director: Ok,thats a rap! Take a break!
Sarah Micheal Gellar: (walks in to only see Vegeta in a blonde wig,some nasty red clothes and some mucked up eyes)I DO NOT LOOK LIKE THAT!(looks at Radditz) AND ANGEL DOES NOT HAVE LONG HAIR!
Radditz & Vegeta: SHUT UP WOMAN! YOU ALL LOOK LIKE US!
Sarah Micheal Gellar: NO I DO NOT!(grabs a shotgun)SAY YER PRAYERS!(fires)
Radditz:(from the episode of "The arrival of Radditz")Heh( grabs the bullet)Hahahaha! (flicks it back at Sarah Micheal Gellar) Ha! What a fragile type of people!
Morals: Never ever piss a Saiyan off, never ever make me watch something that is easy to cuss and dont even think about shooting a Saiyan with a measly lil shotgun!
****************************************
Ugh......read on please.....its annoyin me so Im gonna cuss it!Bulma....you know what the hell Im talkin about.......
2 Hedgehogs: IF YOU'RE OUT AT NIGHT TIME MAKE SURE ITS THE RIGHT TIME FOR STAYIN ALIVE! STAYIN ALIVE!IF YOU'RE OUT AT NIGHT MAKE SURE YOU'RE BRIGHT AND STAYINNNNNNN ALIVEEEEEE!
Bulma: (drivin in her capsule corp car thingy whatsit)Hic,weed and alcohol make a great combination! Hic.....Oooooo,bumps ahead!
2 Hedgehogs: AHHHHHHHHHH! STOPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!
Bulma: (bump) OOOH! SPEED BUMP!
Chibi Trunks: MUMMY! YOU KILLED THE HEDGEHOGS! YOU BASTARD!
Vegeta: Great language use boy.
*********************************
Ok ladies and gentlemen, its time to (drumroll noises) TO CUSS ANOTHER GAY TV SHOW! Bulma has been telling me (not asking me but telling me-or was she threatening me?Ahhh, something negative like that) to cuss this toy advert for quite a while. She helped me write it at school (yes,thats how much we pay attention to teachers XD)so I hope you enjoy,especially you Bulma (although you know this one >.<)>
Bra: Its the pig in the big Kame house,love to eat pig
.
(Gohan,Trunks,Vegeta,Goku and Master Roshi dance about and breakdance.They all gather round and press Oolong's hand.Oolong starts to schoff his face with bacon.They start smiling and huggle Oolong)
Oolong: Cha cha cha, oh laa laa,gonna cha cha cha the pig cha cha chaaaaaaa! (burps)
Bra: He puts the burp in cha cha cha!
Oolong: (poses) CHA CHA CHA! (burps)
***********************************
Are those flashy shampoo adverts annoying the living daylights outta you? Well,heres a *special* advert that I just had to make fun off!
Goku: Ever dreamed of having the perfect roots without dandruff? Well,thanks to Wella, not only it cleanses the roots but it also gets rid of dandruff,And best of all,it colours your hair into any colour you want!
Brolli: Thats right. And its so easy,I can use it to colour my chest hair. First they were black,now they're golden brown,just like my skin.It appears that I dont have any chest hair but hell, Im so hairy!Thanks to Wella's new coloured anti-dandruff shampoo,I can fight topless without putting people off by showing my chest hair.
Radditz: And thats not all.Not only you can use it on your hair,but you can use it on your tail,especially if you're like me and keep on finding dandruff all over your ass and tail.
Goku: So if you think that having the perfect tail, the ultimate anti-hairy chest and the cleanest roots are just beyond your wildest dreams,think again.
****************************
Another extremely mental and maybe disturbed production from the DbzGirl.Watch this spaceeeeeeeee (flies off)
If you feel (or have that urge) that you think I need to cuss/kill off/or what have you got in that warped lil mind of yours then e-mail me.If on the other hand,you do not know my f****** e-mail address then I suggest you go to school....if you DO go school,then I think that its a good idea to go to the main page and then you drag your mouse cursor all the way to where it clearly says the e-mail address.Done that?Good lil child...Then you type in the box and click on "send" and I or Chichi or Bulma will receive whatever you've sent to us,ok?Good....If you didnt know that already,then oh my goodness grecious me!You surely have amazed me that you can actually switch on a computer!
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