Dragonball - http://maxpages.com/animecomedy/Hehehe_Their_crap

Goku's sh*t list

Goku: Vegeta, Vegeta, Vegeta...tch tch tch...hes a loner who needs to get a godamn life, I tell ya that now. He's obsessed in trying to become stronger than me. Whats the damn point? He's a 1st class baka. I mean, he has a kid with Bulma...how f*ck*d up in the head IS he? Who would want to wake up in the morning and see a blue haired moaning slut for the rest of your life? He was so desperate to get rid of his virginity that he slept and impregnated her. Ugh. Sure, I might not have his tight @$$, sure, I might not have his brains, sure, I might not have his royal blood but I have something that HE doesnt have. I bet that he doesnt have a solid gold medal (and not forgetting the Gundanium alloy in the centre) for eating 10kg of rice under a minute, uh uh!. *gobbles 7 chicken drumsticks in his gob* And another thing, he actually challenged my lil Gohan to a fight. I mean, HELLO! Theres a HUGE age difference! He needs to grow up GAH! *covers computer monitor with his hands*
Vegeta: What are you doing Kakarot?
Goku: Uhhhh...nuffin!
Vegeta: Hmmm...LOOK OVER THERE!
Goku: Huh? WHERE WHERE?!
Vegeta: OVER THERE! THEY'RE GIVING OUT FREE ICE CREAM!
Goku: SWEEEEEEEEEEEEEET! WHERE THOUGH?!
Vegeta: Over there! *points at a gypsy caravan site* GO BOY!
Goku: WOOF! *runs to the caravan site*
Vegeta: Hehehehe....f*ck*n dumbass....hmmm *scrolls up and reads....* GOKUS SH*T LIST?! IM...IM....ON HIS SH*T LIST?! *reads it again* He thinks my @$$ is tight? O.O" *reads it once more* Im...a...1st class baka? Grrrr....
Goku: Huff puff wheeze...Hey Vegeta, I couldnt find the ice-cream
Vegeta: Oh? Oh!..Ummm...LOOK BEHIND YOU KAKAROTTO!
Goku: Wha?!
Vegeta: Its the magical food faery you've always been ravelling on about!
Goku: See!? I told ya I wasnt dreaming! *looks behind* Where's pixie? *clunk* Ooooo, purty stars *falls on the floor*
Vegeta: *puts the wooden spoons away* Hehehehe.
Tina: Hey Vegeta. You free?
Vegeta: Ya. Trunks is just hanging around with Goten like always and Bulma is just doing some shopping in the £1 shop. I've got nothing else to do now =(
Tina: Hehehe, brilliant!
Vegeta: Mmmm?
Tina: ........Wanna do a sh* t list?
Vegeta: A sh*t list huh?....HELL YEAH!
Tina: Okely dokely ^_________^"

Vegeta's sh*t list

Vegeta: Hmmm, the first one on my sh*t list HAS to be Raditz...He's so damn weak, that chicken weakling! AHAHAHAHAHAHA!......?
Tina:...I.Like.Raditz....
Vegeta: Ooops, sowwy ^.^
Tina: *cough*
Vegeta: Hmmmm, ok ok. I was just kidding about Raditz (I think =P). Who I seiously hate though is Relena Peacecraft from Gundam Wing. She's a damn nutcase! I mean, Katy has a point!
Katy: I do? O.O
Vegeta: Hell yeah! I mean, "Heero? Relena....Heero! Relena..." aint exactly the most appropriate conversation ¬.¬
Tina: Hehehe, and how about "Those are torpedos, arent they? I can tell" Hehehehe! OF COURSE THEY'RE TORPEDOS WOMAN! WHAT DA YA THINK THEY ARE?!
Relena: Ermmmm, reindeers?
Tina:......
Vegeta:...... *walks past Relena and whispers in her ear* I will destroy you....
Relena: O.O"
Tina: Ummmmm, go on then O_O
Vegeta: Hehehehe. Nah, I'll spare the b*tch*s life.
Tina: *gasp* You're actually letting some one to live?! Besides me?!?!?!
Vegeta: HELL NO! *grabs Duo's pony-tail and strangles Relena* BWA HA HA HA!
Tina: WAHOOOOOOOO! KILL THE PSYCHOOOOOOO!
Relena: HEERO! HELP ME!
Heero (in his Gundam suit): Relena....
Relena: Heero....
Tina: Oh good lord *.*
Relena: HELP ME HEERO!
Heero: Ok. *aims torpedos at Vegeta*
Relena: Those are torpedos arent they? I can tell.
Heero: *aims the torpedos a little lower and fires*
Vegeta: O_O
Tina: =|
Relena: URK!
Heero: Mission accomplished. *flies away*
Tina: That was unexpected *.*
Vegeta: Well, what da ya know?! *sings* KIDS ARE ALRIGHT!
Tina: Eep. Huh? Is that Bulma?
Vegeta: Is she wearing just a skinny top that reveals her bra and a short mini skirt that reveals her butt with bright red lipstick and ultra bright blue mascara with dozens of plastic bags, each of them saying "Half price sell in the £1 shop"?
Tina: Erm *looks a lil closer ;)* Ya.
Vegeta: Thats her the lil whore. *shudders* Well....*sings* I gotta go!
Tina: *sighs* ok ok. Bai bai Mr Veggie weggie.
Vegeta: Bai bai tiny Tina
Tina: I aint tiny O.o

(2 days later)

Tina: Yo Vegeta! Whatchoo doin mah man?!
Vegeta: Ahhh, ya know, practising my aiming at those brownie scouts, ya know how it all is...*turns to a brownie scout* LOOK, IF YOUR NOT A TAIL, GET OFF MY @$$! *blasts the scout*
Tina:...Uhhh dude? Is that lipstick you've got in your hand?
Vegeta: Huh? OH THIS! *hides it in his pocket* Uhhh not at all ^.^" Its erm...the newest capsule corp thingy, YEAH! ITS FROM CAPSULE CORP! *gives a sly smile*
Tina: Eep...ok, wanna continue the sh*t list again?
Vegeta: Sure! PARTY ON DUDE!
Tina: ¬.¬ So, who's gonna be on yer sh*t list?
Vegeta: Hehehe....FRIEZA DA AHO MO BAKA!
Tina: HAHAHAHAHA! THE BISEXUAL BAKA MORE LIKE!
Vegeta: HAHAHAHAHA! HES SO WEAK, HE HAD TO BLOW UP MY PLANET! AHAHAHAHA!
Tina: (Should I laugh or should I stay as still as a rock?)
Vegeta: HE HAD A LOAD IN HIS PANTS WHEN KAKAROT TURNED SUPER SAIYAN!
Tina: Uhhhh, Vegeta?
Vegeta: HAHAHAHAHAHA! AND WHATS WITH HIS DAD?! HES SO DAMN GAY YOU'D THINK MICHAEL JACKSON WAS HIS VOICE ACTOR! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Tina: Vegeta....behind you *.*
Vegeta: AHAHAHAHAHAhahahahahahaha...ha?
Tina: gulp *points behind Vegeta*
Vegeta: Eh? *looks behind* aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Frieza: Hey sista. Have ya like seen my like lipstick like? I was like getting ready for my date with Zechs but I think that like my lipstick has gone missing.
Tina: Lipstick? *turns to Vegeta* AHEM!
Vegeta: HA! ZECHS IS MINE! *whips out glove* I challenge you to a duel.
Frieza: Oh p-please! I just had like mah gorgeous nails done at the maniquer salon! £50 was worth it, doncha think?
Vegeta: ENOUGH! *powers up* BWA HA HA HA!
Frieza: Listen here buddy. I can like whip your gorgeous lil butt with-out smearing my lipstick.
Vegeta: *.* Hehehe, maybe so, but I know your weakness....BWA HA HA! *gets the lipstick out and throws it in the mud*
Frieza: NNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! *goes after the lipstick* ILL GET YOU FOR THIS!
Vegeta: ....Im like totally scared, tch.
Tina: Go on then Frieza...kill him ¬.¬
Frieza: GRRRRRRRR *beep beep* GAH! ITS ALREADY 8 O' CLOCK! IM LIKE SO TOTALLY LATE! *flies*
Vegeta: Damn, that gay @$$hole spoiled my sh*t list =(
Tina: Not really! That lil confrontation can become your sh*t list =)
Vegeta: hehehe....guut =)

(week later)

Vegeta: *singing* Oh Kakarot you're so fine, you're so fine you blow my mind, hey Kakarot!*claps* Hey Kakarot! *gets out the pocket mirror* Whos da sexy man?! You are, you are!
Tina: Yo Vegeta! Im bored like hell : (
Vegeta: GAH! *hides the mirror*
Tina: O.....k
Vegeta: You didnt see nuffin *shows da money* got it?
Tina: YES SIR!
Vegeta: Good kid...Now, what do you want? Im busy....doing stuff....
Tina: Shit list maybe?
Vegeta: Hehehe, sure!
Tina: I thought you were busy doing STUFF
Vegeta: They can wait ^_____^
Tina: Peace to you, mon!
Vegeta: The f...AHEM! I have a bastard on da list, sure!
Tina: Who, who?!
Vegeta: Your mum...
Tina: Grrrr
Vegeta: LOL nah, just kidding kid.
Tina: Then who is it ya asshole?
Vegeta: Grrr...Ill pretend I never heard that.
Tina: Yeah you do just that boy, before I bust you up...OOPS!
Vegeta: WHAT?!
Tina: Nuffin! So, whos on your shit list?!
Vegeta: None other than Britney Spears, duh!
Tina: LOL, its da whore from Mars!
Vegeta: HAHAHA! YEAH! When I first saw her, I felt like blasting her head off her f*ck*ed up body and shit down her throat!
Tina: Innit! I saw her just outside Eminems concert saying "Dont go to him! hes bad for you! Follow my example! Eminem is shit!" and guess who I saw slapping her and beating her up?!
Vegeta: Who?!
Rick (AKA Vegeta's Wrath): ME! SHE DESERVED IT THE B*TCH!
Vegeta: HAHAHAHAHAHA!
Tina: AND WHATS UP WITH THE QUICK CHANGES OF HAIRSTYLES?! SHES BULMAS PET!
Vegeta: AHAHAHAHAHA! THAT JUST PROVES HOW F*CKED UP SHE IS IN THE HEAD!
Rick: She and Lara Croft are the same! They're both sluts that cant sing! BWA HA HA!
Vegeta: I played Tomb Raider once! It was the best, wanna know why?!
Tina: Why?!
Vegeta: I made her go up the huge mountain and at the bottom of it,it had spikes! So I made her dive down! It was so damn funny! It went "CLICK!" and alluva sudden, these big ass letters appeared saying Game Over with some pathetic music!
Tina: HAHAHA! Thats what I do!
Vegeta: I bet you dun get thrills out of it...
Tina: Eh?
Vegeta: Oops...AS I WAS SAYING! You should see what Goku done to the whore of the whores!
Tina: Who? Bulma?
Vegeta: No, shes the bitch of the bitches. Im talking about Britney Spears...
Tina: Oh ^.^
Vegeta: She was eating a chicken drumstick...one of GOKU'S chicken drumsticks...
Tina: OH GOOD GOD! I bet he was REAL pissed!
Vegeta: Uh huh! She was enjoying the damn leg!And that made him FLIP! He blasted her ^.^
Tina: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Vegeta: But since diabolical evil demons are immortal, she lived....
Tina: Damn, what a funny site that must've been!
Vegeta: ^________^ No, thats not the FUNNIEST site though }=)
Tina: Oh? What is then? Seeing her making a video with Ricky Martin?
Vegeta: No, that'll be total destruction....as known as the Apocalypse *lightning strikes*
Tina: Oh, silly me ^.^;
Vegeta: Heh, the funniest site is *chuckles* her spelling!
Tina: ?.....spelling? Whats so funny about that?
Vegeta: Shes worse that you!
Tina: WHA!? NU WON IZ WORSHE TAN MI SHPELINK!(me without spellcheck O.o)
Vegeta: You betta believe it!
Tina: How comes!
Vegeta: She didnt go to school! She spent all her childhood and teenage life prostituting XD
Tina: No wonder shes absolute filth ^.^
Britney: What are you like saying 'bout me?
Vegeta: Well, well, well, if it isnt Bitney Spears with the 600th version of Microsoft's spell check, WITH a thesaurus and a dictionary!
Britney:....GRRR! Hehehe, I know your weakness though }=D
Vegeta: I dont have a weakness...
Tina: Nor do I O.o (except for clowns and spiders...yes, Im petrified of Trowa Barton...)
Britney: Gesh hoo du!
Tina: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Vegeta: HAHAHAHAHAHA! MICROSOFT IS F*CKING UP AGAIN! WORD CHECK AINT WORKING! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Katy: And thats why you should use iMacs =)
Tina:....
Vegeta:....
Britney:.....
Rick:....
Bill Gates:....
Katy: Something I said?
Britney: Your weakness is....*clicks fingers* HIT ME BABY ONE MORE TIME! *music comes on full blast*
Vegeta: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! *falls on knees* This is the end.....urk
Tina: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! *coughs* ....gah?
Britney: OH BABY BABY, HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW, THAT SOMETHING WASNT RIGHT YEAHHHHHH! BWA HA HA! IM UNSTOPABLE!....Huh? Is that a Gundam suit?
Rick: DIE B*TCH DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
Britney: AIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!
Rick: And thats one whore defeated ^.^
Britney: YOU IDIOT! IM IMMORTAL! BWA HA HA!
Tina: Hmmm, HEY BRITNEY!
Britney: Yes?
Tina: Theres a man....in the corner...in the dark...waiting to be raped...
Britney: WHOO-BOY! *runs off* HERE I COMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
Rick: This is pilot 007, the names Rick...just Rick will do O.o (*note from Tina* I dunno his his full name O.o)
Relena: Those are torpedos, arent they?
Rick: Damn bitch...
Tina: *gets rope* DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! *ties ir round her* SUFFEEEEEEER!
Relena: GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Vegeta: B*tches nowadays have attitude O.o

(3 weeks and 2 days later)

Tina: Huh? Is that Vegeta? HEY! VEGETAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
Vegeta: Eh? Whats this? *tuns around* Oh, its that kid...
Tina: Gee, you look happy to see me...
Vegeta: Who would be happy?
Tina: !
Vegeta: GAH! Never mind brat....
Tina: F*cking asshole....Ricky Martin wannabe...
Vegeta: Ill very much pretend I never heard that ya Pokemon fan O.o
Tina: Son of a bi...
Vegeta: OI!
Tina: Aaaa, son of a very nice lady ^_^;
Vegeta: Thank you ^.^
Tina: Ugh *shudders* Hmmmm? Wheres Bulma?
Vegeta: LOL Funny you should mention that....
Tina: Hmmmm?
Vegeta: You know that Kenya has over 2000 prostitutes since tourists first travelled there...
Tina: Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees?
Vegeta: Bulma is on holiday and she happens to be in that number
Tina: HAHAHAHAHAHA!
Vegeta: Shes banging on the safari Nairobi trip with a poor defenceless baboon! HAHAHA!
Tina: Dude, thats bad
Vegeta: Huh?
Tina: It proves that the ape can do better than you O.O
Vegeta: HAHAHAHAhahahaha......THAT SON OF A MOTHA F*CKING WH*RE!
Tina: Now I see why she spends so much time at London Zoo O.o
Vegeta: *griding his teeth* Never...mind...about...her....Shit list perhaps?
Tina: Thought you'd never ask =)
Vegeta: It HAS to be whats-his-face....
Tina: My dad?
Vegeta: No, the other whats-his-face....
Tina: *gasp* not my foster-dad!
Vegeta:...Kid, how many dads have you got?
Tina: Dozens....Its a VERY long story....
Vegeta: Uh-hhhhhhhhhhhuh....O....K.
Tina: ......
Vegeta: Oh, thats his name! Jerry Majigger
Tina: Jerry Springer?
Vegeta: Yeah! Thats his name!
Tina: What the hell has HE done to you?
Vegeta: *sighs deeply* That name brings back memories....

(goes to a flashback scene)

Audience: JERRY, JERRY, JERRY, JERRY!
Jerry: OK! Now, if you've just joined us, we were talking about "When badass aliens have kids that cant be loved". Our guest today is Trunks. Come out Truuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuunks!
Trunks: *comes in and sits down* Hi Jerry!
Jerry: Hello Trunks! Now everyone, Trunks is Vegeta's son.
Trunks: Where is he? Wheres that [beep]?
Jerry: Dont worry dear. Your daddy is backstage chained as he cannot be controlled.
Trunks: Cool dude.
Jerry: So, whats the problem?
Trunks: He...he...doesnt love me....
Audience: Awwwwwwwwwwww
Jerry: Now, now, dont be silly. Why do you think that?
Trunks: I care for my dad...but does HE care for me? NOOOO. I tried to stop him from getting his [beep] ass kicked but the son of a [beep] [beep] punched me in the guts and laughed as he went.
Audience: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Jerry: Thats cruel. Well, lets think what your dad Vegeta has to say. COME IN VEGETAAAAAAAA!
(backstage)
Mental institution helper #1: Ok Vegeta. Remember the deal?
Vegeta: Ok...Ill not blast the [beep] [beep] [beep] audience that can suck my dads [beep]...but do you remember YOUR part of the deal?
Mental institution helper #2: We do. If you behave, we promise we will ship 786 tons of Cocaine freshly made mixed with alcohol.
Vegeta: Teehee!
MIH #1: YOU [beep] FOOL! THIS IS LIVE TV!
MIH #2: [beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep]
Vegeta: Well, gotta go to Jerry!
MIH #1: Yeah, you do just that.
(police sirens heard in background)
MIH #2: DUDE! THE COPS!
MIH #1: THEY FOUND OUT! QUICK, LETS HIT THE ROAD!
(back on stage)
Audience: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Vegeta: *sigh* Im too loved ^.^
Jerry: Take a seat Vegeta....
Vegeta: *sits down next to Trunks and puts his hand on his lap*
Trunks: DONT TOUCH ME YOU [beep]!
Vegeta: Whats gone into you boy?
Trunks: *sobs* You...you dont love me.....YOU'RE NOT MY REAL DAD! MY REAL DAD WOULD'VE LOVED ME!
Vegeta: I would've loved you so much if only you were as evil as me....
Trunks: *sobs* YOU STUPID [beep]! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOUUUU! YOU'RE A [beep] [beep] WHO [beep] BRITNEY SPEARS ALL DAY LONG!YOU LICK KAMES [beep] AND YOU [beep]!
Vegeta: Grrr....THATS IT! IVE HAD IT! You know what Im gonna do?
Trunks: Oh, let me guess! You're gonna blast the audience and the whole world!
Vegeta: HA! Im walking out on you, boy.
Trunks: W-what? B-but dad....
Vegeta: I AINT YOUR [beep] DAD ANYMORE YA BRAT!
Jerry: Now, now. Settle down.
Vegeta: YOU CAN SHUT UP!
Audience: BOOOOOOOOOOO!
Vegeta: GO AND BOO SOMEONE ELSE YOU [beep] THAT CAN [beep] [beep] YOUR [beep] AND GO AND [beeeeeeeeeep]!
Audience: *gasps*
Old lady in the audience: You're a cruel man. Every child should have a father but you're scum you [beep] *sticks middle finger up* [beep] YOU!
Vegeta: You can rot in hell ya old piece of [beep]...DIEEEEEE! FINAL FLAAAAAASH!
Jerry: Hoo-boy! Im gonna get a bonus for this show ^_=
Trunks: I HATE YOU FATHER!
Vegeta: Father? HA! I AINT YOUR DAD ANYMORE! You can call me Lord Vegeta ^_^
Trunks: RHAAAAAAAAAAAAA! *powers to SSJ* YOU'LL PAY!
Vegeta: GO AND [beep] YOUR MUM YA UNCLE [beep]! AHAHAHAHAHA!
Jerry: CUT TO COMMERCIALS! CUT TO COMMERCIALS!

(scene goes back to Vegeta and ....me ^.^)

Tina: Thats right! I remember that show! That was a 15th Anniversary show for Jerry Springer! But, why do you hate him so much?
Vegeta: I tried to get his phone number but he considered me too tough....
Tina: Why...why do you want his phone number anyway?
Vegeta: Oh, erm, private use ^.^
Tina: Oh good lord O.o
Vegeta: Eh?
Tina: Behind you dude....
Vegeta: what the f...*turns around* GAH!
Jerry: Hi Vegeta!
Vegeta: Grrr...GO AWAY YOU ASSHOLE!
Jerry: But, I need another show with you! I need da damn dosh,baby!
Vegeta: Wha? Just me?
Jerry: Hmmm, and that girl behind you who is playing with her yo-yo
Tina: Oh,look at the time...Gotta go ^_^ Well,ummm,see ya Vegeta.I just have to go and do my homework and stuff and well ummm...
Vegeta: You aint going nowhere! ^_
Tina: Huh? OH RIGHT! ^_____________~
Jerry: Huh? Whatchoo two doing winking at eachother?
Vegeta: Its all very simple Mr Gay-bastard. You're on my shit list >=)
Jerry: S-shit list?
Vegeta: Corrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrect! Bye bye!
Jerry: HUH!?
Tina: BWA HA HA! *strangles Jerry with her yo-yo* DIE YOU SON OF A [beep]!
Vegeta: Whos doing da beeping noises?
Jerry: Gah...OOPMH! LET....GO...urk....SNAP
Tina: I think I broke his neck ^.^;
Camera men: LETS GET THE HELL OUTTA HERE!
Tina: VEGETA! THEY'RE THE ONES RESPONSIBLE FOR ALL THE BEEPING NOISES! GET 'EM!
Vegeta: DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! KI BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSTTTTTT!
Camera Men: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Tina: Job well done Veggie Weggie ^.^
Vegeta: Job well done to you too Teeny the PeeKo!...Ugh, you made his neck snap *shudders*

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Page Updated Tue Feb 13, 2001 3:26pm EST