What Would Happen If Goku and The Gang Were Real? - Dragonball - http://maxpages.com/animecomedy/Goku_and_Da_Gang_are

OK, this section is kooky! (is that a word? Better be!)
Bascially what this is about is what would happen if the characters were paid TV stars!?
I know, I know. They are anime (not cartoon, A-N-I-M-E!) characters that were drawn by some rather talented ppl at TOEI animations (no wait, not all of the drawing ppl were talented, some of the drawings were crappy, but, then again..), but just use your imagination, OK! OK? Good.

(at the Funimation Studios)

Raditz: Man, it's soooo boring having to learn English as well as Spanish, Cantonese, French........

Goku: Yeah, yeah. We get the point. Pity they're getting rid of most of the blood and the swearing, I thought that was what fighting was all about!

Raditz: Well, this is Funimation,and Funimation don't know a thing about fighting, now would you mind shutting up!

Goku: Sheesh, keep your tail on Raditz! ::begins to read script::

Gohan:I learned my lines! I learned them! OK, so let's roll em!

Funimation guy: OK, places everyone. Let's begin shooting "The Arrival of Raditz!"

Raditz: Is my hair OK?

Goku: Looks nice n' spiky as usual bro.

Funimation guy: OK, cue spacepod touchdown.

Farmer: WHAT WAS THAT!? Best bring my peashooter!

(drives over to the spot where thing landed)

Raditz: WAZZUP HUMAN DUDE? Where's Kakarot at?

Farmer: Erm, BANG! ::shoots gun::

Raditz: That wasn't very nice ::grabs bullet::
Here, catch! ::flings it back::

Farmer: I'M DOWN! I'M DOWN! TELL MARGERY SHE'LL HAVE TO PAINT THE SHED! ::dies::

Raditz: WAHOO! That was fun! Now, where's mah brudder at? ::checks scouter::
He is over there, standing behind that camera dude!
No wait, I'm meant to find Piccolo! Laters! ::flies off::

Piccolo: Must focus energy, must concentrate.. DAMN! NOTHING CAN OPEN THIS STUPID MILK CARTON SAFELY! WWWWHHHHHYYYYYYYY!!!!??????

Raditz: Hey, is that you Kakarot? Nah wait, that's E.T. Yo bro, wanna phone home?

Piccolo: DON'T DISS THE SKIN! RRWRWRARAARRAR!!! ::shoots ki beam::

Raditz: Thanks for shaving mah leg hairs bro, been meanin' to do dat for ages. Oh wait, me is pickin' up Kakarot! Gotta split! Laters green dude!

Piccolo: I oughtta kill him.......

(meanwhile, over at Kame House)

Master Roshi: Hey! It's Goku! And some lil runt!

Goku: Hey guys! This is my son Gohan, he's kinda going through that "leave me alone, the world is crap" and all that stage so just try and let him do his thing!

(Bulma, who didn't hear the news,comes running out of the house)

Bulma: HEY! HE'S CUTE! ::pats his head::

Gohan: LEAVE MY HEAD ALONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bulma: What's got his goat?

Goku: Ay carumba! Anyway, where's the food at?

(dramatic music plays, but it's just some sad freak muckin' about with a synthesizer)

Raditz: WWWAAAAAZZZUUUUUUUPPP, my brudder! Does ya'll wanna come and join da Saiyans? Ya'll get free scouters!

Goku: Erm, brother, Saiyan? What are taking about?

Raditz: Let me lay da facts down for yous. You is a Saiyan, you is a space warrior, yous real name is Kakarot, aye?

Goku: Look pal, my brother ain't no pineapple. And what is with that tail?

Raditz: Oh, this thing. Just some genetic junk, not really special, the only thing it duz is change ya'll into a big ol' nasty were-monkey at the full moon.

Goku: Ohhhhhh..... anyway, I think you've got the wrong house, so just scram!

Raditz: YA'LL DON'T HAVE A TAIL! THAT'S WHACK! No, wait, yous son does, I'll just grab 'im, and be on mah way, ya dig? ::grabs Gohan by the tail and holds him upside down::
Laters!

Goku: COME BACK!!!!!!

Raditz: Hey, he's got a freaky marble on his hat! Cool!

Goku: I'M GONNA KILL HIM! Ahem... I'M GONNA KILL HIM! ::looks at Piccolo::

Piccolo: Whoops! That's my cue! Erm.... not without me you're not!

Master Roshi: AHHHH! IT'S PICCOLO!

Piccolo: N'ah, it's E.T! OF COURSE IT'S PICCOLO!

Goku: Why have you come here?

Piccolo: I'm joining you to fight that pineapple head.

Goku: OK then! Let's go!

(they fly off... meanwhile, with Raditz back at the farm)

Raditz: Old Macdonald had a cat, ee i ee i oo, when I came along that went splat, ee i ee i ooo, with a ki beam here, a ki beam there....

Gohan: SHUT THE HELL UP!

Raditz: I think dat the lil dude needs some time out! ::throws Gohan in spacepod::
Now ya'll just stay in there for a lil while!

(Goku and Piccolo arrive)

Goku: Gimme back my son!

Raditz: No, make me.

Goku: I WILL! YA YA YA YA!!!! ::fires ki beams at Raditz::

Raditz: I did NOT need mah legs to be shaved again! Now you is gonna pay! ::punches Goku::

Piccolo: GOOOOOO RADITZ! No, wait, I'm 'sposed to be helping....... DON'T HURT GOKU!

Raditz: OK E.T. ::drops Goku:: BRING IT ON BIG EARS!

Piccolo: THAT'S IT! EAT FIST! ::tries to punch Raditz. Misses::

Raditz: You is too damn slow! I is fightin' Kakarot!

Piccolo: Good, it'll give me time to charge up my special..... erm.. my special thoughts!

Raditz: OK, beg for mercy Kakarot! BEG! ::steps on Goku::

Gohan: LEAVE MY DAD ALONE! ::explodes ship in rage::

Raditz: Wazzup with da kid?

Gohan: YAAAAAA! ::headbutts Raditz::

Raditz: Huh hey! That kid got it goin' on!

Goku: Gohan?

Piccolo: Gohan!?

Gohan: LEAVE MY NAME ALONE!!!!!

Piccolo: That is one disturbed kid.......

Goku: ::grabs Raditz's tail:: PICCOLO! USE THE FORCE!!!!!!!!

Piccolo: I will young Jedi.... hold on! ::charges up::
Okies, I am done. May the Force be with me! ::fires it::

Goku: OWCH! HEY! Ya'll weren't meant to hit me! Oh, wait, You were! And then I'm 'sposed to die. Gotcha! ::falls lifeless on floor::

(Krillin and the gang arrive)

Krillin: GOKUUU!!!!

Goku: Asta la bye bye!

Funimation guy: And that's a wrap! CUT!

Goku: Man, I'm so damn good at acting out death. I should get an Oscar!

Gohan: What about me?

Raditz: No Oscar for you, that headbutt barely hurt!

Gohan: Awwww man......

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Page Updated Sat Jan 20, 2001 5:34pm EST