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"Stan"

Chorus: [Dido]
My tea's gone cold I'm wondering why I..
Got out of bed at all
The morning rain clouds up my window..
And I can't see at all
And even if I could it'll all be gray,
But your picture on my wall
It reminds me, that it's not so bad,
It's not so bad..

["Stan"]Dear Slim, I wrote but you still ain't callin
I left my cell, my pager, and my home phone at the bottom
I sent two letters back in autumn, you must not-a got 'em
There probably was a problem at the post office or somethin
Sometimes I scribble addresses too sloppy when I jot 'em
but anyways; **** it, what's been up? Man how's your daughter?
My girlfriend's pregnant too, I'm bout to be a father
If I have a daughter, guess what I'ma call her?
I'ma name her Bonnie
I read about your Uncle Ronnie too I'm sorry
I had a friend kill himself over some ***** who didn't want him
I know you probably hear this everyday, but I'm your biggest fan
I even got the underground **** that you did with Skam
I got a room full of your posters and your pictures man
I like the **** you did with Rawkus too, that **** was fat
Anyways, I hope you get this man, hit me back,
just to chat, truly yours, your biggest fan
This is Stan

Chorus

["Stan"]Dear Slim, you still ain't called or wrote, I hope you have a chance
I ain't mad - I just think it's ****ED UP you don't answer fans
If you didn't wanna talk to me outside your concert
you didn't have to, but you coulda signed an autograph for Matthew
That's my little brother man, he's only six years old
We waited in the blistering cold for you,
Four hours and you just said, "No."
That's pretty ****ty man - you're like his ****in idol
He wants to be just like you man, he likes you more than I do
I ain't that mad though, I just don't like bein lied to
Remember when we met in Denver - you said if I'd write you
you would write back - see I'm just like you in a way
I never knew my father neither;
He used to always cheat on my mom and beat her
I can relate to what you're saying in your songs
so when I have a ****ty day, I drift away and put 'em on
cause I don't really got **** else so that **** helps when I'm depressed
I even got a tattoo of your name across the chest
Sometimes I even cut myself to see how much it bleeds
It's like adrenaline, the pain is such a sudden rush for me
See everything you say is real, and I respect you cause you tell it
My girlfriend's jealous cause I talk about you 24/7
But she don't know you like I know you Slim, no one does
She don't know what it was like for people like us growin up
You gotta call me man, I'll be the biggest fan you'll ever lose
Sincerely yours, Stan -- P.S. We should be together too

Chorus

["Stan"]Dear Mister-I'm-Too-Good-To-Call-Or-Write-My-Fans,
this'll be the last package I ever send your ***
It's been six months and still no word - I don't deserve it?
I know you got my last two letters;
I wrote the addresses on 'em perfect
So this is my cassette I'm sending you, I hope you hear it
I'm in the car right now, I'm doing 90 on the freeway
Hey Slim, I drank a fifth of vodka, you dare me to drive?
You know the song by Phil Collins, "In the Air Tonight"
about that guy who coulda saved that other guy from drowning
but didn't, then Phil saw it all, then at a a show he found him?
That's kinda how this is, you coulda rescued me from drowning
Now it's too late - I'm on a 1000 downers now, I'm drowsy
and all I wanted was a lousy letter or a call
I hope you know I ripped ALL of your pictures off the wall
I love you Slim, we coulda been together, think about it
You ruined it now, I hope you can't sleep and you dream about it
And when you dream I hope you can't sleep and you SCREAM about it
I hope your conscience EATS AT YOU and you can't BREATHE without me
See Slim; {*screaming*}
Shut up *****! I'm tryin to talk!
Hey Slim, that's my girlfriend screamin in the trunk
but I didn't slit her throat, I just tied her up, see I ain't like you
cause if she suffocates she'll suffer more, and then she'll die too
Well, gotta go, I'm almost at the bridge now
Oh ****, I forgot, how'm I supposed to send this ****out?

Chorus

[Eminem]Dear Stan, I meant to write you sooner but I just been busy
You said your girlfriend's pregnant now, how far along is she?
Look, I'm really flattered you would call your daughter that
and here's an autograph for your brother,
I wrote it on the Starter cap
I'm sorry I didn't see you at the show, I musta missed you
Don't think I did that **** intentionally just to diss you
But what's this **** you said about you like to cut your wrists too?
I say that **** just clownin dogg,
C'mon - how ****ed up is you?
You got some issues Stan, I think you need some counseling
to help your *** from bouncing off the walls when you get down some
And what's this **** about us meant to be together?
That type of ****t'll make me not want us to meet each other
I really think you and your girlfriend need each other
or maybe you just need to treat her better
I hope you get to read this letter, I just hope it reaches you in time
before you hurt yourself, I think that you'll be doin just fine
if you relax a little, I'm glad I inspire you but Stan
why are you so mad? Try to understand, that I do want you as a fan
I just don't want you to do some crazy ****
I seen this one **** on the news a couple weeks ago that made me sick
Some dude was drunk and drove his car over a bridge
and had his girlfriend in the trunk, and she was pregnant with his kid
and in the car they found a tape, but they didn't say who it was to
Come to think about, his name was.. it was you
****

"The Way I Am"

Dre, just let it run...
Hey yo, turn the beat up a little bit...
Hey yo, this song is for anyone ... **** it ... just shut up and listen.
Hey yo...
I sit back, with this pack of Zig-Zags and this bag of this weed,
it gives me the **** needed to be the most meanest mc on this...
on this earth... and since birth I've been cursed with this curse
to just curse and just blurt this bezerk and bizarre **** that works,
and it sells and it helps in itself to relieve all this tension.
Dispensing these sentences, getting the stress
that's been eatin' me recently off of this chest.
And I rest again peacefully...
But at least have the decency in you
to leave me alone when you freaks see me out
in the streets when I'm eatin' or feedin' my daughter
to not come and speak to me.
I don't know you and no, I don't owe you
a mother****ing thing. I'm not Mister NSYNC.
I'm not what your friends think.
I'm not Mister Friendly. I can be a prick.
If you tip me my tank is on empty.
No patience is in me and if you offend me,
I'm liftin' you ten feet... in the air.
I don't care who was there and who saw me destroy you.
Well, call you a lawyer. File you a lawsuit.
I'll smile in the courtroom and buy you a wardrobe.
I'm tired of all you. I don't mean to be mean
but that's all I can be. It's just me.

Chorus:
And I am, whatever you say I am.
If I wasn't, then why would I say I am?
In the paper, the news, everyday I am.
Radio won't even play my jam.
'Cause I am, whatever you say I am.
If I wasn't, then why would I say I am?
In the paper, the news, everyday I am.
I don't know it's just the way I am.

Sometimes I just feel like my father. I hate to be bothered...
with all of this nonsense. It's constant and "Oh, it's his lyrical content."
The song "Guilty Conscience" has gotten such rotten responses.
And all of this controversy circles me
and it seems like the media immediately
points a finger at me...
So I point one back at 'em but not the index or pinky
or the ring or the thumb. It's the one you put up
when you don't give a fuck when you won't just put up
with the bull**** they pull 'cause they full of **** too.
When a dude's gettin bullied and shoots up your school
and they blame it on Marilyn ... and the heroin
where were the parents at? And look at where it's at...
Middle America
now it's a tragedy
now it's so sad to see
an upper-class city
having this happenin'.
Then attack Eminem
'cause I rap this way.
But I'm glad 'cause they feed me the fuel
that I need for the fire to burn,
and it's burnin' and I have returned.

Chorus

I'm so sick and tired of bein' admired
that I wish that I would just die or get fired
and dropped from my label. Let's stop with the fables.
I'm not goin' to be able to top what my name is.
And pigeon-holed in to some poppy sensation
that got me rotation at rock-n-roll stations.
And I just do not got the patience...
to deal with these cocky caucasians
who think I'm some wigga' who just tries to be black
'cause I talk with an accent and grab on my ----.
So they always keep askin' the same ****in' questions...
What school did I go to? What hood I grew up in?
The why, the who what, when the where and the how
'til I'm grabbin' my hair and I'm tearin' it out.
You've been drivin' me crazy. I can't take it.
I'm racin' I'm pacin'. I stand then I sit.
And I'm thankful for every fan that I get
but I can't take a **** in the bathroom
without someone standing by it...
You knew I won't sign your autograph
you can call me an ***hole. I'm glad.

Chorus

"The Real Slim Shady"

May I have your attention please?
May I have your attention please?
Will the real Slim Shady please stand up?
I repeat will the real Slim Shady please stand up?
We're going to have a problem here

(Verse 1)

Ya’ll act like you never seen a white person before
jaws all on the floor like Pam like Tommy just burst in the door
started whoopin her *** worse than before
they first get divorced throwing her over furniture (scream)
It’s the return of the
Oh wait, no way, your kidding, he didn’t just say what I think he did, did he?
And Dr Dre said
..Nothing you idiots Dr Dre’s dead hes locked in my basement (haha)
Femenist women loved Eminem
Chicka chicka chicka Slim Shady I'm sick of him
look at him walking around grabing his you know what
what, looking at you know who (yea but hes so cute thou)
Yea I probably got a couple of screws up in my head loose
but no worse than whats going on in your parents bedrooms
Sometimes I wanna get on TV and just let loose,
but can't, but its cool for Tom Green to h-m- a dead moose
my bums on your lips my bums on your lips
and if im lucky u might just give it a little kiss
and that’s the message we deliver to little kids
and expect them not to know what a womens ------ is
of course there gonna know what ----------- is
by the time they hit 4th grade,
they got the discovery channel don’t they?
We aint nothing but mammals, well some of us cannabals
who would rather rip people open like canolopes
But if we can hump dead animals and antelopes
then theres no reason that a man and another man can't elope
But if you feel like I feel I got the antidote
Women wave your panty hoes, [sing the chorus and it goes...]


(Chorus:)
Im Slim Shady
Yes I'm the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So wont the real Slim Shady...
Please stand up, Please stand up, Please stand up
becuase I'm Slim Shady
Yes I'm the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So wont the real Slim shady...
Please stand up, Please stand up, Please stand up


(Verse 2)

Will Smith don’t gotta cuss in his raps to sell records
Well I do, so **** him and **** you too
You think I give a **** about a grammy?
Half of you critics cant even stomach me, let alone stand me
(but slim what if u win wouldn’t it be weird?)
Why? [So you] guys can just lie to get me here?
So you can sit me here next to Britney Spears
Christina Aguilera better switch [me] chairs
So I can sit next to Carson Daly and Fred Durst
And [hear 'em argue] over who she gave ---- to first
Little ***** put me on blast on MTV
(yea hes cute but I think hes married to Kim, hehe)
I should download [her] audio on mp3
And show the whole world how you gave Eminem [V.D.] (scream)
I'm sick of you little [girl and] boy groups all you do is annoy me
So I've been sent here to destroy you
And theres a million of us just like me
Who cuss like me
Who just don’t give a **** like me
Who dress like me
Walk, Talk and act like me
It just might be the next best thing
But not quite me


(chorus)

(Verse 3)

Im like a headtrip to listen to
Cause I'm only giving you
things you joke about with your friends inside your living room
The only difference is I got the balls to say it in front of ya’ll
And I don’t got to be false or sugar [coated] at all
I just get on the mic and spit it
And whether you like to admit it
I [kick ****] better than 90% of you rappers out there
Then you [wonder how can] kidz [eat up] these albums
Its funny cuz at the rate im going when I'm 30
Ill be the only person in the nursing home flirting
Pinching nurses ***es when I'm [-----------' with Jergens and] I'm jerking
But this whole bag of viagra isnt working
And every single person is a Slim Shady lurkin
He could be workin at Burger King spitten on your onion rings
Or in the parking lot circling
screaming I don’t give a ****
With his windows down and system up
So will the real Shady, please stand up
and put one of those fingers on each hand up
and to be proud to out of your mind and out of control
and one more time, loud as you can, how does it go?


(chorus)

"Forgot About Dre"